catching up on my life

Saturday was really, really busy.

We took Steve's car to the car place, and on the way home we stopped off at the John Deere store so Steve could ask some questions. Nicholas loved the tractors so much I can't even begin to describe how overwhelmed he was. He threw a fit when I made him leave behind a little toy steering wheel, and also when he realized we were leaving without a new tractor for Steve.

Later we went to the Strawberry Festival - a yearly book fair and festival thrown by the library organization. Nicholas bounced around on a couple of big blow-up things, both boys played a few kid's festival games, neither of them ate the italian ice Steve got, and then we pretty much melted because it was 105 degrees out (or something along those lines) and we had to go pick up Steve's car.

Then, that evening, Steve took me to dinner and to a movie. The dinner was one of those Japanese places where they cook the food in front of you, so it was fun, and very good. And the movie was fun, although not so good. Let's face it, there was nothing I wanted to see, really. I mean, nothing I couldn't wait for.... The Third Pirate move, Shrek III, or Spiderman III... we ended up seeing 28 weeks later, the sequel to 28 Days Later, a zombie movie. I love Zombie movies. Especially ones with large loopholes. As I said before - I had fun!

And then yesterday we slept. Because I was tired, and it was raining.

There, you're pretty much all caught up.

The Toothpaste Post

What kind of toothpaste do you use?

When I was a kid, toothpaste was toothpaste. It didn't seem so complicated. Sure, they came out with the "gel" toothpastes instead of the "paste" toothpaste, and we thought that was the coolest! But still, toothpaste was toothpaste and that was that.

These days I spend more and more time in the toothpaste aisle trying to find what I want. It shouldn't be so complicated. But the last time I purchased toothpaste I accidentally got cinnamon flavored paste. Cinnamon.

Cinnamon is not a bad spice. I like it in pies, and on pork chops, with apples, on toast... But this toothpaste? It's like brushing your teeth with a stick of Big Red. It does not leave my mouth feeling minty clean, but instead leaves my mouth feeling like there is a filmy substance coating my gums.

The thing is, it's hard to find normal toothpaste. Everything is vanilla flavored, lemon flavored... why not make one that tastes like cake? Or chicken? Toothpaste should be MINT! End of story. Not to mention the fact that I must also navigate the KIND of toothpaste - tartar control? Whitening? The whitening stuff hurts my teeth - I have sensitive teeth. Should I buy the special toothpaste for that?

Add to that the fact that I now need to get toothpaste for Nicholas. Nicholas prefers the toothpaste with Diego on the tube. He says he likes his toothpaste, which, I noticed the other day, claims to be "Mild Bubble Fruit Flavored!" Which simply makes me wonder where on this earth one can find this Bubble Fruit? Is it strong? Is that why they specify "mild?"

I need to get more toothpaste. I would like to just walk up the the shelf, grab a toothpaste, and leave. But I don't want to end up brushing my teeth with Bubble fruit, Lemon pie, Whitening formula stuff. I want the toothpaste from when I was a kid.

Five Whole Years

In this picture you see me and Steve reading through the book which holds the rules about being married. Yes, there is such a book, and all couples must read through it the day of the ceremony. Seriously. If you ask me, I can tell you exactly what it said.

Happy Anniversary, Steve. I love you.

Skin Of My Teeth

I sat down at my computer this morning all set to do a funny post about toothpaste, but as soon as I brought up my blog I knew something was wrong.

See, yesterday I had been fooling around with the layout of my blog, trying to add pictures and links and things like that. I had been having problems, and nothing seemed to be working, and eventually I just gave up, assuming nothing had worked.

I was wrong. Some of the changes had taken place, and boy they could have made me look stupid. So I had to frantically fool around with the layouts AGAIN this morning, my kids screaming, my heart beating madly, my face flushed from embarassement and pure foolishness, as I tried to figure out JUST WHAT IT WAS I DID and then once I did that HOW TO UNDO IT! During this time I restricted viewing of my blog to only myself.

I am fairly confident that I have solved the problem. But if you happen to see any naked pictures of me, or links to mud wrestling tournaments, please ignore them for the next few days as I may still be experiencing technical difficulties.

Thank you for your understanding. Perhaps I will post about toothpaste tomorrow.

I am here! I am here! I am here!

Everything I say needs to be repeated three times and then followed by a threat before anyone listens. It can be "Go get your shoes" or "Put down that knife and get off the table." No one ever listens. Some people (Nate) even think it's funny to outright do the opposite of what it is I ask. And it's really taking a toll on my sanity. I mean, staying at home all day and having minimal contact with adults is one thing, but if, on top of that, people are going to start pretending they don't hear me... well, I'm going to start to think I really AM invisible. And then next thing you know I'll get arrested for walkingdown the street naked while eating gummie bears.

He Was Tired All Day

This weekend was draining and tiring. First we celebrated Nick's birthday, which involved presents and cupcakes and Steve's family, a couple of streamers, some hot dogs and burgers, and finally the TRACTOR. Later that afternoon my brother Winston came up to visit with his girlfriend, Meg. And that involved more gifts, and more gifts, and a lot of eye rolling at how crazy my mother is for getting so many gifts for Nick, and a lot of wrapping paper.

Winston and Meg stayed until Monday, which was great. It was good to get to know Meg a little more, even though I'm ten years (TEN YEARS!) older than she is and sometimes feel absolutely ancient. (OLD! I FEEL OLD!) We drank a lot of wine, ate a lot of food (even Winston ate pizza and popcorn and Doritos and cupcakes!) and then watched a movie I think only Meg saw the end of, and played a lot of Wii.

It was fun, and the house seemed quiet after they left. But I also slep HARD last night. Fun, but tired. Which is why I like this picture of Nicholas. He was having fun. He was just tired, too.

Cupcake Shot

Nicholas asked for red cupcakes this year. But I could not find a tub of red icing. I tried making some, but no matter how much food coloring I put in, the icing remained... not red. Take a look.



Nicholas looked crestfallen when he saw the first few cupcakes. "Why did you make them purple?" he asked. But the problem was solved when I let him have a container of sprinkles. Half of the container ended up on the first two cupcakes. But near the end, Nick looked at the remaining sprinkles and said, "the rest I'm saving for me because I'm a little hungry." And then he ate the rest of the sprinkles like candy.

Nathan helped clean up, mostly by picking up the stray clumps of sprinkles and eating them.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is, of course, a weekend for rememberance.

In our case, we remember the weekend that Winston came to stay with us, and he and Steve had too much too drink and sat on our back porch howling (no, really howling like wolves) at the noisy kids partying somewhere across the brook. And then, then next morning, at 7am, I woke Steve up and told him we had to go to the hospital because I was having a baby, and Steve drove me there, even though he probably shouldn't have been driving at all. And then, because of complications, we were both transported my ambulance to a bigger, better hospital in Boston, and I had twelve hours of labor, which Steve endured smelling like beer, unshowered, unshaven. Perhaps he felt woozy at the harsh reality of a child being born and a woman in labor and all the wonderful fluids involved. Or perhaps he was a bit hung over. We'll never really know.

Anyway, Nicholas was born on Memorial Day weekend, two whole weeks early.

We celebrated Nicholas's Third Birthday yesterday, even though it's a bit early. For weeks, if not months, all he's said he wanted was a tractor. I looked everywhere for the perfect, non-battery powered gift. I finally ordered it off the internet. It arrived Thursday. Steve managed to put it together in record time despite those horrendous instructions composed entiredly of badly drawn pictures. I put on one sticker but did a bad job, so Steve even did those.

I think Nick likes it. He seemed calm, but he insisted on showing every single person who came by his tractor.

Saturday is My Day Off

So there.

Naptime Yet?

Ahhh, New England.

Where else in the world does it go directly from "Too Cold" to "Too Hot" without an in between?

Last night Nick and Nate had some trouble getting to sleep. Actually, that is a lie. The part where I said "some." Because actually it was a "lot" of trouble falling asleep.

At first they were just crying and moaning, but then, about an hour after I had put them down, Nicholas started this SCREAMING thing, where you can't tell if he's in pain or scared or WHAT and nothing got him to stop. No amount of talking, threatening, coddling, nothing could make the noise stop. I told him he was safe. I told him we loved him. I told him if he didn't stop screaming I would make him sleep in the shed. Nothing worked. I finally sat there until he fell asleep, and that lasted for about ten minutes, until he woke up and realized that I was GONE!

It got to the point where Steve actually came and took him OUT of the bed, and then I let him sleep in our bed with me until Steve fell asleep. so that gave us an hour of quiet. But then it just started up again until I broke one of my big, huge rules: I screamed "SHUT UP!" And Nicholas cried for a few more seconds, then fell asleep.

I feel terrible. But at least I got a few hours of sleep before they woke up AT FIVE THIRTY.

And now, here is a picture of my tulips, at least a couple of tulips before last week's rain ripped them to shreds. I planted them too far apart, so they look funny.

Breakfast Wish

This morning Steve had to leave very early to get to a meeting, so when Nicholas woke up I simply told him to get into bed with me so that I wouldn't have to move.

We talked about what we would have for breakfast, and before I knew it I was telling Nicholas how I really wanted a bagel with lox and cream cheese - maybe a tomato and some red onion or capers - and how simply WONDERFUL it would be. Then I told him that next time we visited Gramma and Grampa, maybe I would take him to Zabars which I remember fondly from when I was a kid, but which I haven't actually visited since 1993. "But Grampa used to take me there when I was little," I said.

Nicholas looked thoughtful. "Grampa is your daddy?" he asked?

I nodded. "Yes, your grampa IS my daddy."

Nicholas nodded. Then, in the same tone I had used to describe lox and Zabars, he said,"I went to Wal-Mart, once, when I was bigger."

Ack!

We're all sick with this cold. With one exception - Nicholas. Nicholas HAD the cold, but seemed to get over it very quickly. Now he coughs sometimes, but mostly he doesn't. He's energetic and playful. The rest of us are practicing the different ways we can produce mucus.

Before 7am

This morning Nathan slept until 6:30, a good half hour past my official "wake-up time." It was too bad, since Nick woke me up at 5:30 telling me he had to pee, because I was awake anyway...

When he finally started making noises I rushed in to find him standing there with one eye open and the other sealed shut with dried goo. No wonder he slept late - he couldn't open his eyes! One of his nostrils was similarly sealed. I had to soak his eye in a warm washcloth (he didn't like it) to get the goo to soften enough for him to see.

Then, at breakfast, Nicholas told me he wanted his own something from the grocery store. It was a "something" that sounded like "Ackorgigan" and I could not figure out what he was talking about (Backyardigan? Back Organ? Backorder?) Until I finally realized he was saying "deodorant." My almost-three-year-old was asking for his own deodorant from the grocery store.

Without going into the specifics of puberty and glands I tried explaining that only grown ups needed deodorant, but he insisted he was smelly and needed some deodorant.

It is going to be an interesting day.

Summer is Soon!

Nicholas calls them "Choose Its" instead of Cheese Its.
Nathan calls The Wiggles, "Diggo!"
Nicholas likes Pomatoes (Tomatoes)
Whenever I open the fridge Nathan asks for "Teeze" probably because the cheese drawer is clear plastic and right in his line of sight.

After three days of rain we finally have some sun. It will be warmer today, and even warmer tomorrow. And then maybe these cold we all have will clear up, the snot will cease pouring from Nathan's nostrils, and we can all be healthy for a change!

Although, if I remember last summer correctly... hmm...

One Day.... One day...

One day last week I thought it would be nice to take the boys out to lunch. So after our trip to the Library I packed them in the car and took them to The Cracker Barrel.

If you've never been to the Cracker Barrel... well, you don't really need to go. It's the kind of place you find right off highways where they serve breakfast all day and also sell ceramic frogs in flowered hats and penny candy and old fashioned bottles of coke. It seems very nice and homey until you realize they are trying to kill you via pancake.

Nicholas was excited to go to the Cracker Barrel. He liked the rocking chairs lining the porch. He was overwhelmed by the candy and the cluttered walls and the people. We walked up to the host, who asked "Will that be one or two kids menus?"

"I want Chicken Nuggets!" said Nick. Actually, he said it loudly. Very loudly. He almost yelled it. He probably thought he needed to yell to be heard over the clutter.

Once we got to our seats and I glanced at the menu, Nicholas ordered his own lunch - Chicken Nuggets (Tenders) and Chocolate Milk. The boys pretty much behaved themselves until the Chocolate Milks came.

This is when Nathan decided he didn't need me, Mommy, to help him drink his milk with a straw. He wouldn't let me position the milk so that straw would reach his mouth. He wouldn't let me touch his drink at all. Instead, he would remove the straw from the plastic cap and lick the one drop of chocolate milk from the straw, then scream because he could not replace the straw. I would have to help him - which caused more screaming - and then he would do it again.

As soon as the meal came Nathan screamed because he didn't have what I had (I know for a fact he wouldn't like a Ruben) and then threw every french fry I gave him on the floor. He was the reason we had to leave.

But Nicholas's behavior gave me hope that one day we can actually go to a place with tablecloths and no kids menu.

It's The Little Things

I'm a bit tired, too tired to round up my thoughts. So here they are all kind of out of order.

- Nathan does not have the measels in this picture. He somehow managed to get a red magic marker and finely spray red ink all over half of his body in a way that made me think he had a horrible rash. But he was fine.

- I actually HAVE FireFox, and used to use it before I upgraded. It's the browser that no longer lets me see the login window. It also blocks out a lot of other images. I think it has to do with the ad blocking stuff Steve put on it. Which I cannot turn off. Hence, Safari.

- Steve has a very bad cold. He is so sick, in fact, that he has already told me he will be calling the doctor Monday. (Why do these things always happen on weekends?) Steve NEVER sees a doctor. The last time he saw a doctor was when he almost cut his finger off with the lawn mower. (um, don't stick your hand in a lawn mower.)

- Nicholas is also sick. He is a snotty mess. And cranky. But not feverish.

- I'm posting late today. The boys are screaming and crying and fussing and generally being a pain, which reminds me that I do this in the morning for a REASON, and that reason is that they are not yet bored with the day at 7:30 am.

- I had a strange dream last night where I was late to get to the airport for our flight to France, but Larissa (who was coming with us) would not help me get our stuff together, and instead kept drinking wine. I woke in a cold sweat.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Blogger Foils Me Again

Today, out of the blue, the pop up window that lets me attach photos is not popping up. (Actually, once I published this post I went back and was able to attach a photo in the Edit mode, so here we have a wonderful Photo of Nathan.)

This is especially frustrating because I feel that no matter what I do, I can't win. I used to use Explorer as my browser. However, once I upgraded my blog, I found that explorer would no longer let me see the login window. I got a message asking for my email address and my password, but no actual space to type it all in. This meant I had to use Safari, which is great, only most of the new features from the upgrade cannot be used in Safari, redering the upgrade useless.

And now the pop up window for photos isn't popping up.

And I never know what I'm dealing with. Is this a change Blogger has made on a permanent basis? Or is this an error that will be fixed? Or is it the result of something Steve did late last night? Some anti Spy program designed to make it so that we never have to look at ads?

In other words, how mad should I be, and at who?

Little Brother

The last time I was home, Winston had a bit too much to drink. He became sentimental and let it sneak out that he considered his brother and sisters his best friends. I was very, very touched, mostly because I understood.

Today he is 31, and I do not remember a time before he was born.

Happy Birthday, Winston!

How We Eat

My kids become hungriest when I start cooking dinner. Suddenly their ears prick up and then come running from all four corners of the earth (yes, I have two children, I don't know how they manage to reach all four corners, but they do) begging me for a slice of bread, cheese, some tomato, goldfish crackers, ANYTHING! Because they are starving, you see. And besides, they don't like whatever it is I'm cooking anyway.

I usually give in to the first of these demands, reasoning that I am hungry, too, and will also be nibbling while I cook. Also, as long as I only give them a reasonable number of Cheerios and don't let them rn away with the whole box, it won't completely ruin dinner. And also, they won't eat dinner, anyway.

Nicholas is a grabber. I will extend a handful of raisins or Cheerios meaning for the boys to share, and Nicholas will somehow manage to fitt my palmful into his much smaller palm, mostly by also placing large handfuls into his mouth.

Nathan, on the other hand, has a much more delicate style. He can do one of two things. The first is to trat my hand like a bowl, and eat the Cheerios one at a time from my hand. He refuses to hold more than one at a time, or to eat them from a cup or a bowl. He needs me and my Mommy Hand holding the Cheerios for him. This is preferable, though, to the second thing he does, which is to eat the Cheerios DIRECTLY FROM MY HAND. Like a horse or a goat, licking my palm for the very last remnants of Cheerio or raisiny goodness.

As for me, I prefer pie, in bed, either with a good book or watching HOUSE.

Cranky Pants

I'm not sure who this post is about.

It might be a post about Nathan, who has been crankier than usual these past few days. He has reached the point where he is trying to speak, but very few words are actually, well, words. When he gets frustrated, not only with his communcation but with his ability to move heavy objects, put puzzles together, turn the pages of a book, etc. he screams and flings the nearest object across the room.

Of course, this might also be a post about NIck. Nicholas is uncomfortable. Determined not to poop in the potty, yet reluctant to poop in his underwear, Nicholas has solved the problem by just turning that function off altogether. At least mostly. For the past couple of days. Needless to say, he is uncomfortable. He whines and whimpers and screams when I suggest we sit on the potty or have a nice glass of prune juice. All night long I was in and out of his room, alternately soothing him or threatening to throw him out the window, depending on what kind of dream I ha been having when he woke me up.

Which bring me to... me. This could be a post about me. Because I am definitely cranky. I am exhausted from lack of sleep and trying to be patient. I would pay someone twenty dollars to wattch my kids while I used the bathroom, just so I could sit without two kids climbing on top of me. As I type this, Nathan is whacking me with his sip cup, which apparently is out of milk. He is also trying to climb up my body, and it is only a matter of time before I loose it and lock myself in the closet just to get away.

The End, have a nice day.

Busy, Busy, and more Busy

Today I looked at my to do list and realized there were eleven items on it. I usually do not allow my daily to do lists to exceed five items, as it causes undue stress and then I get nothing done, whereas the fewer items I have on the list the more apt I am do accomplish additional tasks...

Anyway, I'm off to get the dog licensed, to drop Nick off at school, stop at the post office, the dry cleaners, come back in time to put Nate down for a nap, and that's just the morning.

Happy Hallmark Holiday!

I am aware that Mother's day is a "Hallmark Holiday," meaning that it was invented by card companies in order to sell more greeting cards, and then adopted by other industries as an excuse to push their own merchandise.

But I don't care because today I got to sleep in, and Steve made me breakfast, and I got chocolates and all sorts of wonderful surprises. How nice!

Also, every mother deserves a day. Fathers, too, but they get one later. Because parents work HARD for their kids, and there is no way to accurately appreciate it until one becomes a parent oneself. I don't care what you say, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW unitl you have been up all night worrying, chaging sheets, cleaning up puke, taking temeratures, and rearranging you entire life to accomodate the little lives you are responsible for.

So here are some pictures of Nathan doing housework. It's how our house stays clean.

You Talkin' To Me?

What? WHAT?

The POINT

Nathan has this habit of changing the channel while the TV is on. This wouldn't be a big deal, except that he has horrible taste. I will leave them watching Diego to put the laundry in the dryer, and when I come back they are watching the jewelry segment on Home Shopping Network. Or maybe it's a Paid Program by Bowflex. Whatever it is, it lacks in plot and the acting is simply not convincing.

Nicholas HATES it when Nathan changes the channel. As soon as the picture changes he screams the name of the show he was watching "Backyardigans!" or "Blue's Clue's!" as though Nathan had erased the show from TV FOREVER!

Yesterday Nathan changed the channel, and Nicholas pushed Nathan. I put Nicholas in a Time Out, and changed the channel back. WHen Nick's Time out was over I let him back in the room, but Nathan changed the channel again two mintes later. Nicholas pushed him again. I put Nicholas in another Time Out, this time with a bit of yelling about how we just DID this and we do NOT hurt our brothers and we USE WORDS instead! And I turned off the TV.

When I told Nick his time out was over I tacked on the "I think you should say something to your brother." Nicholas slowly slid off his chair and went over to Nathan, and I was expecting the usual "I'm Sorry!" and the hug where he squeezes Nate's head until Nate squeals.

Nicholas took a deep breath. "Nathan," he said, "Don't change the channel!"

Sprinkler Tales

Yesterday it was hot. So I thought it would be a good idea to plug in the sprinkler and let the boys play in it.

This sounds so easy, doesn't it?

First I had to get the boys ready. This was slightly less complicated than getting them ready for play in the snow. But instead of putting stuff on, it's mostly taking stuff off. Then putting on swim diapers, then fighting them to apply sun lotion, which is hard because they don't like it and start to pull away, at that point it is, truly, like trying to hold on to a greased pig. Two greased pigs.

Once hats were on and towels located, I picked them up and headed outdoors, where they immediately gravitated to the small plastic wading pool. This pool was full of water. Why, you ask, would a semi-intelligent person allow a pool full of water to remain on her property when there are small children about who could easily drown? Well, the answer is I DIDN'T! That pool is the cause of so many problems. First of all, it's light plastic, so if it's not weighted down the slightest wind will send it into the bushes separating our yard from our neighbors. Second, if you leave it out empty, the rain will fill it up within a week. I swear, even if it doesn't rain, it will only take a week. Finally, even if you put it upsdie down, the rain will cause the plastic to bend and turn the stupid thing inside out. Water is heavy.

Anyway, the big issue with the pool yesterday was not the dirty rainwater in the filthy pool, but the dead chipmunk floating on top of it. I had to rush insdie for a bucket to scoop out the poor creature and tote it to the bushes (where the pool escapes to) and then empty the stupid pool AGAIN. This time I dragged it into the basement and told myself I would scrub it clean with floor cleaner before the boys would use it again. We'll see. It might be easier to buy a new one.

Finally I hooked the sprinkler up and turned the spigot... only to realize that the outside water hadn't been turned on yet, and I had no idea how to do it. So I had to call Steve at work.

Once the water was on and the sprinkler was working, Nicholas screamed and Nathan cried. It was on for less than two minutes.

Toasty!

I have run out of pictures to post. To be honest, when the kids were feverish and I was stressing about my Aunt I didn't really go for the camera too often.

Today it is supposed to get warm. More than warm, HOT! Accuweather has predicted a high of 87, with "Real Feel" of 89. That means that it's still 50 in the morning, but even now I can feel the heat of the day in the air, as though it were a scent. I dressed both boys in overalls - Nathan in these cute tractor overalls that used to be Nick's, and Nick in these new Go Diego Go! overalls that are actually a size too big for him, and that are actually a Very Bad Idea, given that he can't remove them himself to use the bathroom. Once I realized this I suggested changing him into other, easer to manage summer clothing, but you would have thought I had suggested drawning our cats for fun. So I quickly dropped it and resigned myself to a day of difficult potty-going.

Regardless, I will take pictures, because it is going to be worth it.

Only Pretend

One of Nick's favorite things to do is to curl up under a blanket and pretend to take a nap.

The key word there is "Pretend."

He is never excited to REALLY take a nap.

Completely Exhaustified

The other day I had the idea that, after bringing the boys home from the doctor, I would be able to feed them lunch before putting them down for a nap. This is how far Nate got. Didn't even get out of his coat. He just collapsed on the floor, inches from the garage.

Good Show! Whot, whot!

Yesterday I drove down to Cambridge and saw Mike Daisey perform his monologue, MONOPOLY! It was absolutely fantastic for more than a few reasons.

First of all, this is only the second one that I've seen, but Mike's monologues are amazing. In this one he manages to weave together Monopoly (the game), Wal-Mart, Tesla, Microsoft, and also some aspects of a production that he worked on a while ago. The performance is intelligent, enlightening, funny, and touching. Not all at the same time, at different times, otherwise we'd all be shivering balls of goo by the end.

Seriously, if you ever, ever have a chance to see Mike perform, please go for it. I promise you, it is neither a waste of time nor money, it is worth it, I swear. And he goes everywhere, to so many places, that I'm sure eventually he'll be where you are. GO! Mom, Dad, THIS MEANS YOU! I mean it, you might really enjoy yourselves.

Mike is a friend of mine from school, about a billion years ago, and we were both in that crazy theatre company in rural Maine, because none of us had the sense to go anywhere there were actually people to work on our craft. But that is not why I think his show was spectacular! Really! It is really, really good.

After the show I got to hang out with Mike and a few other friends that I happen to see more often, and I had such a great time, despite the fact that I spilled water everywhere and kept checking my cell phone like some neurotic mother. I have to remember to get in touch with him again soon. MIKE - stop by on your way up to NH, if you can! Just let me know when.

The one drawback about hanging out with people from school is that I start to feel nostalgic and get the urge to memorize scripts and start singing show tunes in a really loud, now-out-of-practice voice. Thank goodness the boys are my best critics.

I love my house, I love my nest...

It's the time of year when nature once again asserts itself and reminds us that there are other creatures out there besides us. By that I don't just meant that little buggies seem to crawl all over any item the kids leave in the grass for more than two minutes.

Yesterday morning I saw deer grazing by the brook for the first time in a long while. I love to watch them. Unfortunately, Gunther, who never seems to notice them when they are on OUR side of the brook, noticed them yesterday and began barking frantically, probably in an attempt to get them to play. I resisted the urge to rush out and ahout out an explanation of the electric fence, knowing the deer wouldn't understand the concept and would think I was a liar.

The geese are also back. I hate the geese. They poop a lot.

But the best visitors we've had so far have been the birds. There are many many birds. Including one that kept returning to the deck, often with twigs in his mouth. A few moments before dinner I poited him out to Steve. "I think he's making a nest in the Grill," I said. So Steve went out and lifted the cover, only to have a second bird fly into his face. It's hard to say who was more startled. And what was in our grill? This.


We left the hood open after clearing out the half built nest. All day yesterday I watched the bird hop around, trying to figure out what happened to his home, specifically the roof. Once he showed up with three other birds who just looked and shook their birdy heads before flying off. We think they were contractors bidding for the jod of rebuilding.

Poke in the Foot

I hadn't called my mother in a couple of days because I had some idea I would call her in the middle of the funeral service, or during the viewing, and that her cell phone would ring loudly, and that it would all be my fault for calling at such an inopportune time.

But yesterday I finally picked up the phone, reasoning that, by then, the funeral AND the burial would have been completed. And they had been. In fact they were on the long drive back.

My phone conversation was cut shourt, however, when Steve came in to tell me Nicholas had a splinter the size of a large crochet needle sticking into his foot. Which, in fact, he did. It took twenty minutes, tweezers, and a needle to remove the thing, not to mention a lot of crying and a lot of sweating - on my part.

Nick whined about his foot all night, refusing to get into the tub and asking me to "take it off his foot" before bed. I was positive he'd forget about it be morning. I was wrong. This morning he is still limping and complaining, leading me to question my splinter removing skills. Did I leave a bit of it in there? Could I have caused serious damage? Touched a nerve? Not disinfected enough?

No Way! It's May!

May means a bunch of birthdays are coming up, and that in less than a month Steve and I will have been married FIVE YEARS. It also means I should plan something for Nick - oh, the pressure? Party or no party? I mean, he's THREE! But what about that kid who had a party and invited us?

May also means I need to do more yard work. Which is silly, because the ground is too wet where I need to work, and even so I need long stretches of time where I don't need to rescue a child or chase one around the house. I still have seeds to plant that I just can't get down.

Finally, May means a bunch of trips to town hall to register pets and cars, to the vet for check-ups, and fun things like that. I am in no mood to do these things. please, please, please don't make me do them!

I won't think about it until both boys are better.

Chatter chatter

Nicholas is bouncing back and forth from being so sick that he just cries for no reason, and from being so medicated that he feels no pain and chatters on about everything. Yesterday I took him to the doctor AGAIN and despite having a fever of 104, he happily sat there reading a book while waiting. As soon as she opened the door he looked up and exclaimed "I'm so glad to see you!" The whole visit she spoke directly to him, turning her head to hide her smile when he gave his funny answers.

"Do your ears hurt?" she asked.

"I just have a little gas."

"Can I check out your ears?"

"Absolutely!"

Of course, she found nothing, except that his throat looked "a little yucky" and told us to just keep medicating him. Which is fine, but I really do wonder how long a kid is supposed to walk around medicated to keep down a fever. We can't send him to school, I can't take him out, we're basically trapped in our own home. And every three hours I have to have a fight about forcing medicine down someone's throat.

I keep telling myself it won't last forever, and that the doctors are right, and eventually, maybe by the end of the week, it will magically go away.

Then again, Nathan's temperature is a bit high these days, so maybe forever is the right word.

True Life

Ever since I got the news my Aunt Frances was in the hospital, emotions have been beating me up from the inside. They have run the gammet from sadness to anger and hope to helplessness.

But none of those emotions could be compared to what I felt last night when I took Nick's temperature and the digital readout said 105.2.

That isn't a typo. That's one hundred and five point two degrees.

Nick just has this fever. He's complaining for a sore throat, but the doctor looked and said it was fine. His ears are fine. His lungs are fine. She even took a culture anyway, on the off chance it was strep. It wasn't. That was BEFORE his fever got so high. So of course I was on the phone in a panic.

He slept last night, but woke at 5am with 103.6 which isn't very comforting.

Frances's funeral is Thursday. I had been planning on taking the boys, which seems silly now that I think about it. But now I am not sure I even want to leave Nick. Not when he's got a fever that soars almost before whatever medication (Tylonol and Motrin) we're giving him wears out.

Found in my things

Good To Be Home

Need I say more at this juncture?

Here to do nothing

I'm in Tennessee.

I got to see my Aunt Frances, which is the reason I made this trip, after all.

She does not look well. If my mother hadn't lead me to the room, if I hadn't known to look for her in the bed, I would not have recognized her. Her face is partially hidden because she is intubated. Breathing had become a chore for her, so the respirator is helping her out. Her kidneys have stopped working, but they don't think the toxins in her blood will become critical enough for dialisys until tomorrow, so has of now she is bloated in her face, her neck, her arms, her fingers, and her legs and feet. She is also older than I picture her in my mind.

She doesn't always respond to visitors. I've had her roll her eyes and blink at me and turn her head a bit, but other times she cracks her eyes open then shuts them tight. They are keeping her sedated. It's very hard to watch, though.

It is even harder on those who love her. My mother and Betty and Mary are taking turns spending the night in the waiting room, even though they can't be with her, just in case something happens. There is always someone there.

I've been driving people to and from the house, taking them places they needed to go. I did a very little bit of cleaaning. I sat in the waiting room for a bit while my Aunts went for a walk.

But I'm leaving tomorrow. And nothing has changed. There is this limbo, this state of nothing happening, but everyone calling, of telling a hundred people each day that nothing has changed. It's a stressful, busy time, but also quiet and calm and sad.

I'm planning on going out after visiting hours and buying ink for the printer here at the house. I figure that's one thing I know I can do.

Out Of Service

I'm off to Tenessee to be with my Aunts and my mother.

I'm leaving the boys here. Don't worry. I've left Gunther detailed instructions on what they are and aren't allowed to do.

Just kidding. Steve and Lillian will both be here.

I will not be posting while I'm gone.

Who knows what shadows lurk in the hearts of men?

The Paisley Ghost knows. Of course.

Mistake #579

At school, back when I had a class of two-year-olds and also in Nicks class, a sand or water table is sometmes filled with rice to give the kids something different to play with, especially since textures are considered important at this age.

Being the crazy mother I am, and also having rice that made the move with us from our old house, I thought I might make out own little rice table here at home. See how I filled the tray with rice? See how I put down a mat so I could easily clean up spillage? Am I not so thoughtful?

Well, that worked nly as long as I was sitting there with them. Then the phone rang, and in the three minutes I had my back turned the boys sprinkled rice all over the kitchen floor AND the dining room floor. It took me twenty minutes to clean up, even with the vaccum, all the while shouting at the boys to stay put in the living room because they kept running back and forth spreading the rice back to areas I had just vaccumed.

My Aunt Frances is very sick in the hospital right now. Please send her your thoughts.

Last Friday

Diapers Diapers Diapers

Yesterday I went to the store and purchased $50 in diapers.

When Nick was little the only diapers I would use were the really, really expensive kind. The brand was the same brand they used in the hospital, and the stretchy legs kept his wriggly body from creating gaps and leaking at night.

Why didn't I remember the reasoning behind this?

A few months ago I realized we were spending A LOT on diapers, and I went on a mission to find Less Expensive Diaperware. And I did. Gradually I moved down the cost chain and tried brand ofter brand of diapers, and nothing seemed BAD. They all seemed to work. Until I was buying the generic brand sold only at the grocery store that I didn't use because it was $9 for 52 diapers, and HOW COULD YOU BEAT THAT?! And the diapers work fine, usually, during the day.

But at night... at night the diapers tended to leak. So did the generic pull-ups that Nick was using. I was spending less on diapers but changing sheets and doing more laundry...

Yesterday I got Nick the Diego Pull Ups he loves so much, which fit him a lot better than the generic. I got a bunch of generic diapers for Nathan, who pees twenty times a day, but I also got Night Time Diapers! Huggies, actually, but designed for night time, which means.... I don't know, but whatever it means, I bought into it. I got the bigger size, so Nick AND Nate can both use them. And last night was the first night in a week there were no leaks of any kind. No wet PJ's, no wet sheets, dry everything. Well, the diapers were wet, but they did their job.

Why do I do these things?

So Much for the Diet

The boys got lots of Easter candy. And I mean LOTS of Easter candy. They were given three different Easter baskets, obviously due to some mix-up at Easter Bunny Headquarters.

Anyway, there is far too much candy in this house for two small boys. And Steve is horrible at eating chocolate. I don't know WHAT his problem is, but he can just walk by it all day long and not eat any.

I've actually been very good at not eating candy from my children's baskets, with the exception of one chocolate bunny that Nathan won't miss because he has two others and a huge chocolate carrot. And I've also been good at dispensing the chocolate to the boys. I give them each a choice of candy after dinner, and break off what I think is acceptable from the gigantic chocolate sculptures.

Yesterday I broke off chocolate bunny bits and gave one to each of the boys. Then I took a third bit, which had broken off in the process, a small, not-as-big bit, and I said "And I'm going to have this little bit even though I don't need it." And I popped it in my mouth.

Nicholas took his chocolate out of his mouth just long enough to ask "Mommy has a Wobbly Bottom?"

It's funny. He got that from a book, one called "Our Granny" where the Granny has a Wobbly Bottom. So I know he didn't just make it up. And in NY, everyone was telling me how great I looked. I am running five miles a day (OK, ALMOST every day.) I am in the best shape I've been in and weigh less than I have in over Three Years. But one little comment like that and the heart ache that seeped through my tears of laughter was almost palpable.

Wobbly Bottom. That's me.

Four Feet

Here are some feet.

I forgot to put the trash out, so I must dash.

Out into the cold, cold, wet rain.

blech.

Road Less Traveled

Our road is closed. The one we live on. Because of the rain.

Not because of the rain, per se, but because of the accumulation of water CAUSED by the rain. It builds up, you know, and forms puddles.

These puddles, unless they are on a flat surface, have a tendency to run downhill. And this forms what looks like small rivers flowing over streets.

Yesterday I had to use backroads to get Nick home from school. A five minute drive took me twenty minutes because I kept running into "high Water" which means "Water over two inches in the road." And even thought I was confident I could drive through it slowly and with consequeses, I did not, because I promised Steve I would be careful with the boys in our car, and not be stupid, and obey all stop signs and stop at railroad crossings and not drive through the orange cones and road blocks that have been put there for our protection, after all.

Raining AND Pouring

It is raining.

The brook has overflowed again, which usually happens in the spring. It hasn't reached the flood levels it did last May, but it has still passed a couple of trees and is slowly creeping toward the house.

This morning I lifted Nick up to look out the window. "See the water?" I asked. But Nick's depth perception is different than mine. His gaze stopped at the window ledge, where someone had deposited a handful of loose change, and he quickly snatched it up and has been carrying around his "Pennies" (actually three pennies, one dime, and two quarters) all morning long.

Steve is scheduled to take a lfight this morning, and according to the online system, the flight will take off as usual, with no delays. The cleaning ladies, however, did call to say they heard the road was closed, and would swing by on Friday. Since they come every other Monday, and I clean the house the Mondays they do not come, I have been consoling myself by telling myself I can skip next week, since Friday and Monday are really so close together. However, I am more concerned by the fact that my house is so dirty. The floor needs mopping. The bathrooms smell. I'm dissapointed.

Home Sweet Home

We're back from New York.

We left on Thursday, and the rain began the moment we pulled the car out of the driveway. We stopped for lunch, and on the way back to the car Nathan and Steve got drenched. But the drive itself was uneventful.

Friday we went to the Museum of Natural history. Later, I might even post a photo I took there, one of the two photos I took on this trip. I haven't downloaded them yet, because... there are only two photos. The boys loved the museum SO MUCH! They were overwhelmed and excited and it was so great to see.

And this morning we rushed back to beat the storm. Right now it is snowing here. As we left New York the radio kept broadcasting reminders about not crossing flood waters and avoiding downed power lines. To celebrate our safe and speedy arrivel, I am posting the picture of my tulips peeking out through the snow.

Finally, I have to say that I have never seen so many people with cell phones or headsets. Practically every person we apssed, or in lone at the coffee place, or waiting for the bus, or walking down the street, had an ipod plugged into their ears, even those walking IN GROUPS. I felt out of place on line at the coffee shop, and for a moment I found myself wondering if I was supposed to be texting my order in, because every person in front of me seemed to be texting someone, and I simply can't imagine why you would need to text anyone that badly. Who do you need to reach so badly that you can't wait until you reach work. Or for that matter, the two minutes it will take to pick up your coffee. I hate the fact that people feel they need to be in touch with someone ALL THE TIME. Take a moment. Breathe. Relax. Live a few minutes of your life away from the media and the virtual.

I'm glad to be back here in NH, away from the noise.

Blank Page

Most days I can dig into the pocket of my mind and rummage through three or four ideas for a post, ideas that I have stashed there much the same way Nicholas stashes pennies and rocks and acorns (he calls them EggNuts) in the depths of his pockts, and know they are there, and begins to panic if he thinks they might have possibly been removed.

But the past few days I reach into that pocket and come up with nothing. The pockets are empty. I'm aure, if I though hard enough, I could find something to write about, something funny and charming and having to do with Nathan learning to claimb out of his crib (he can) or Nicholas learning haw to spell "coffee" (he can but doesn't know what it means). But at this point, my mind is a blank. Well, it isn't but you guys don't care that I have to rush to get my picture taken for my new passport, then rush to the post office, and go grocery shopping, and think about Nicholas and decide if he should attend "school" over the summer or trust that a 3 month break will be fine because it saves money and after all he'll be fine, but he loves it SO MUCH! and what should we have for dinner tonight. Nicholas keeps asking, hoping each time the answer will be TACOS but it won't be because we had them two nights ago.

I gotta go.

Busy to the Left, Busy to the Right

I am far to occupied with THINGS to write a proper, organized, and focused post. We are getting ready for a trip to NY. I am making plans for our trip later this year to France, which includes arranging care for our pets and (I just realized ) getting myself a new passport. Yuck. On top of the fact that we ran out of coffee three days ago and I keep forgetting to get more, and oh, also, Nicholas has turned into a holy terror, screaming and yelling and sobbing at the tiniest things... (think me as a teenager, but smaller and less able to reason.)

And now I must look up information on passport renewal while waiting for the dog lady to arrive and ask me who the pets should go to should we die while we are on vacation.

Easter Monday

No Clive Barker film, no Stephen King novel, can even come close to the horror that is two small children after a day with too much excitement, an entire bag of peanut m&m's, and no nap. Last night I couldn't get NIck to go to bed. I sat there, jaw on the floor, as he pleasded with me to take his third trip to the potty, or, if that wouldn't work, please please please let me give him a Time Out! In the chair! Anywhere, Anything, was better than the bed.

But they both woke up this morning with sunny smiles, before the sun, I might add. And yesterday's Easter was lovely. We had a huge egg hunt (which is basically pointing out eggs "hidden" on the sofa cushion, adn then cringing when it is dropped 5 times onto the floor.) Then we had a wonderful time with Steve's family, which was great. I had a good time.

Pick a Pocket or Two

Yesterday we had quite a few errands to do, so we spent the morning driving all over creation picking things up and dropping things off and spending more money than one would have thought necessary. We went to the post office. We went to the grocery store for just a few items, and then we went to the library to return our books and music and movies.

Then I dragged the kids to the vet's where I had to pick up more flea and tick repellant, for all those fleas and ticks that mob our pets this time of year... the ones that like snow, apparently.

And while I was chatting with the young lady behind the desk and absorbing the fact that a six month supply for all our pets is about $250 ($250!) I turned my head to check up on my children. And caught Nicholas in the act of pulling something out of his coat pocket. "Here are my coins!" he said. And then he pulled one of those small bags of chocolate coins out of his pocket.

"Nicholas," I asked in a loud, astonished, and also horrified voice. "Where did you get those?" Because, you see, I did not remember ever GIVING him a bag of chocolate coins, although I had been trying to keep an eye out for a few to drop in his Easter Basket.

"At the grocery store," He explained.

At this point the other woman in the waiting room and the lady asking me for $250 both started laughing, and I darted across the room to quickly remove the chocolate coins from Nick's grasp and deliver a lecture about how WE ALWAYS ASK MOMMY if we want something and WE HAVE TO PAY for everything we buy and also THAT'S STEALING and VERY BAD and NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

Nicholas was clearly baffled. He had no idea that he had done anything wrong. He also had no idea the coins were chocolate. Go figure. He thought they were just fun coins. I thought about going back to the grocery store to apologize, but in the end decided against it since 1 - it was very much out of our way, 2- It was about $.75 of chocolate, and 3 - I think it would have been more confusing to NIck than anything else. He was unusually quiet on the way home.

The lady with the dog in the waiting room and a few people behind the counter all apologized for laughing, but apparently the look on my face upon seeing the pocketed item was pretty funny. Now I need to figure out how I'm going to teach Nick about money in an age that is so Debit Card dependant.

Wiggly Tantrum

Yesterday, Nicholas cried for twenty minutes because I told him the Wiggles could not come to our house.

"They are not real. They are a band on TV. They are pretend. They just do shows. We don't know them."

I started out just talking, and I felt sorry for Nicholas, who was obviously heartbroken and delusional in thinking that The Wiggles are his close personal friends (he does pretend to call them on the phone quite often). Here I was, telling him he couldn't have his friends over.

But the other part found the request and Nick's reaction so ridiculous that I would snort in the midst of my explanations. And when they failed, and Nicholas kept sobbing, his face pressed into the sofa cushions, I just outright laughed.

Cold Shower

When April Showers
Come your way
They bring the flowers
That bloom in May...

Unless, of course, your shower happens to be made of snow, in which case the shower will KILL YOUR FLOWERS DEAD!

Let me explain. I am ready for spring. The schedule says Spring - for over a week now. And I have been getting ready - putting away humidifiers, getting out the gardening stuff, buying spring clothing for the boys...

Yesterday was overcast and rainy. Until about two thirty when I looked out the window and saw snowflakes the size of dinner plates falling to the ground. By the time I got Nick home from school the ground was covered. And by this morning we had six inches.

All told, six inches is not a lot. Except that it's April, and those six inches are sitting on top of my tulip buds.

Add to that the fact that we woke up with NO ELECTRICITY, throwing us back to this January, when the ice left us in the dark and the cold for three days.

Of course, it was thirty degrees colder then, so it wasn't as cold in the house. And I was fairly optimistic about having power sooner rather than later. And I was right. But it was still a pain to not be able to make coffee, to worry about the meat I had purchased the DAY BEFORE going bad, and listening to Nick ask "Why can't we watch TV? Is the TV broken? Let's watch TV in your room. It's broken? What's wrong with the radio? OK, then what's wrong with THIS radio? Let's play the computer. It's not working? OK, then let's watch TV..."

I'm a little heartbroken about my tulips.

A Mile In His Shoes

It should come as no great surprise that every person is different. Each person thinks differently. And when reading or hearing a story, each person is bound to imagine it a bit differently. I supposed this is why I am usually dissapointed in movies after I have read the book, since my take on it would be... well... different.

The other day we were listening to The Wiggles (as usual) when the song about Uncle Noah's Ark came on. And I realized that Nicholas hadn't heard the story of Noah's ark. All religious reasoning aside, I think it is important to be somewhat familiar with the bible - both testaments - in order to keep up with our culture and the references made. History, Art, Wiggles songs, you name it.

In any case, I started telling Nicholas the story of Noah's Ark. He stood there with wide eyes as I described the Ark, a big, big, huge boat. And then I started talking about the animals and listing them off. "He had to get two lions, and two tigers, and two giraffes, and two elephants, adn two mice, and two rabbits, adn two ducks, and two horses, and two cows -"

And that was when Nick interrupted me. "Me don't like cows."

Yes, to many Noah ensured the survival of man and of all those animal species. But to Nicholas, he's just the guy who plagued us with cows.

Tulip To Be?

My Gramma loved flowers. At least, she loved gardening. And for awhile when I was small she tried to pass along her love of growing things. But unfortunately, it never took. I am hopelessly inept when it comes to plants and flowers.

Last spring and summer I planted a number of wildflowers. I actually made an effort to trim back the bushes and to keep the weeds out of the beds. But with Nicholas "helping" me and Nathan eating rocks, even pulling a few weeds required exact timing, extreme concentration, quick reflexes, the alignment of several stars, and a couple of shots of vodka.

Over the past few years I have noticed the brush on the side of our property creeping towards our house. Not friendly brush, but thorny brush. This is the type of thorny foresty brush that surrounded SLeeping Beauty's castle and that killed several faint of heart princes - obviously princes who couldn't stand the sight of blood and didn't like to get splinters. I myself would have let the thorny bushes take over, but then I realized they were taking over the hammock, and one was unable to use it and move. You'd have to lie motionless or the thorny brush would grab onto your skin or clothing and you would end up needing antiseptic and a band aid. Not relaxing.

So I started cutting it back.

It's actually quite an undertaking. I had to buy special gloves with leather palms to keep the thorns out, and no matter what I need to be wearing long sleeves. These suckers really HURT! I am determined, though. I may not be able to grow anything, but I can use the clippers and the pull up weeds!

And then, the other day, I noticed these little sprouts in the front of the house. Last fall I planted tulip bulbs that lillian had gotten me, thinking I would just plant them, because she had gotten them for me, and then whatever, I had no control over it, we'd see what happened... and look! Little sprouties! There are actually a whole bunch of them! I'm very excited and now I'm picturing tulips lined up in front of my home. Hope has been restored - isn't that what spring is about? I have a whole bunch of wildflowers to plant, and I'm going to give it another go, as soon as the rain stops.

And I will finish taking care of those thorny boshes.

And here's Nick - he's got gloves his size (not for thorny bushes) and he's ready to help!

At Last, More New Photos!

I had a different post in mind for today, but that was before I woke up this morning to find that Nathan had puked during the night and fallen asleep in it, spreading vomit all over his pillow, his sheet, and his HAIR!!!!!

Where Nate Likes To Nap

I swear, he crawled in there all by himself, and then started squealing because he was stuck.

Of course I had to take a picture before freeing him.

Happy April Fool's, everybody. I can't beleive it's April already.