Deepest Desire

Here is a video of Andrew demonstrating his readiness for solid foods. As you can see, he is obviously hungry, and is frustrated that he cannot get his whole sock in his mouth.



As for me... well... I simply never knew that parenting meant devoting so much time and energy to the bodily functions of others. At least three times a day I feel like shouting out loud because it is SO ridiculous. I don't spend a fraction of this time thinking abotu my OWN bodily functions. The time I devote to coaxing kids to use the toilet, to guiding them in HOW to use the toilet, to pull ups and diapers and sitting on the bathroom floor just waiting when I know full well NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I have also taken to waking the boys up to use the bathroom before I go to sleep myself. They are still in pull-ups, but this way the pull-ups do not leak and I haven't had to change the sheets ONCE since I've started. (well, once, but it was not because they were soaked in pee.) Even Andy will not make things simple. Because as annoying as poop is, you begin to notice when, well, when there is no poop. For days. Especially when the non-pooper is getting crankier and crankier. I simply can't shove any more prunes into that baby's body unless something comes out of him first.

A List

Here's a list of things we are out of:

Milk
Bread
Bananas
Tomatoes
Juice Boxes
Cat Food
Pull ups for Nathan
Chocolate chip cookies
Pie

It is raining for the third day in a row. And obviously we need to go grocery shopping.

School Vacation Week

It is school vacation week in New Hampshire. My kids aren't old enough for school, but somehow this has a big impact. Nick still goes to school, but the classes are much smaller. My point of view is, well, I PAID for this week, and isn't as though Nick is sitting at a desk he needs a break from, so why not just send him?

Library storytimes do not take place this week. But Gymnastics does. The classes themselves are smaller, but older brothers and sisters will tag along and make the watching area crowded and unbearable.

And finally, going shopping will be a crowded mess.
Which leads me to the question... how old do you think a child needs to be before you can leave him or her home alone? I'm thinking at least five.

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king of the world

I really don't want to take the time to post today.

But in the interest of posting daily, I am giving way to a little mushy-ness. I love my kids. They are so funny. And devastatingly good looking.

real incident

the other day we went to lunch at the 99, a place near us we feel more than comfortable taking the kids, where we can get more than burgers.

During lunch I, of course, had to drag Nate into the bathroom. Nicholas had laready been with Steve, but insisted on coming with us. It wasn't until I opened the door that I realized he was excited and telling Nate about the urinals. "You pee standing up!" he was saying. He was very surprised, and I had to explain the difference between men's rooms and women's rooms.

I then dragged the three of us into the disabled stall at the end, because it's the biggest. Nicholas watched Nate go, then I said it was my turn. No sooner do I sit down than Nathan says "I'm done" and reached for the door lock so he can go play with the sink. "NO!" I shouted. "Not when Mommy's going!" I reached out and grabbed his shirt, yanking him away from the door.

"Why?" Nate asks.
Just then Nicholas practically shouts "You peed, Mommy! Good Job!"

I could hear shuffling and the opening and closing of doors.

See, you never value using a public restroom on your own until you have an announcer and a foil.

No New Photos

My friend Miranda came over for a sleepover, which is so cool. I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to spend time with a grow up who is MY friend. Steve watched Nick and Nate while we went out for sushi. I was intoxicated with liberty and raw fish. It was awesome.

But I did not take any pictures.

Exaustified

Between running, working to eradicate the Thorny Brush, and waking up three times a night with Andrew, I am completely exhausted. Not to mention the fact that by body aches. My muscles hurt a little, but it's more the bending / reaching that really drive it home. Not to mention the scratches and puncture wounds all over my arms.

With all this going on, is it any wonder I haven't had time for new photos?

Going Buggy

Yesterday I found a tick behind my ear. It hadn't bitten me, yet. It was just crawling along looking for a good spot when I happened to scrape it off with my finger.

Also, the Ladybugs are returning. The other morning there was one in my coffee. I hate those things.

Only on the Paper

This is why you've got to keep an eye on a two year old with a marker. Because "only on the paper" can somehow translate into "only on the paper, but it's OK if I get some on the skin of my hands or my arms, and probably my baby brother."

Saturday

I gave Nicholas one of my old dolls just before Nathan was born. He pretty much ignored it until Andrew came along. For the record, he has named her Shane, and he has already spent more hours playing with her than I have during my entire childhood.

Turn up the volume to listen to this one.

a moment of ARGH

Steve is finally home from a business trip he left for Sunday morning. Which is great because I was about to sell Nate to the gypsies.

While he was gone I encountered a problem with my I-pod, which decided it wasn't going to turn OFF. I tried turning it off and the screen would show the "charging" symbol, only I knew it wasn't charging, unless somehow the energy from my workout was seeping into the small machine through the skin on my hand. Anyway, I did the best I could, but the next time I went to work out the machine wouldn't turn ON. At all. Now when I plug it in it isn't even charging, the screen just keeps asking me to wait because the battery is very low, only after 16 hours I think something should have changed.

Anyway, I decided to watch a video during my run, but Steve had changed the TV around so that the TV now gets... well... TV, and my old VCR was no longer hooked up. The cable I had hooked it up with is now being used to get TV. And I didn't WANT to watch TV. I wanted to watch a tape so old I know it by heart. I ran to the sight of Home Improvement anyway, at least until Nick woke up crying. Since Andy was also crying, only in his carrier next to the TV, I gave up in a fit of frustration.

Running Out Of Battery

My battery is about to run out, so I need to just post this quickly and get to where I can plug my computer in.

Tired

Andy caught Nathan's cold. It's so much worse when a baby has a cold. He can't sleep, and I can't give him decongestant because he's too small. He wants to nurse but can't breathe so he can't really nurse. He's grown uncomfortable in his carseat, but can't sit up so keeping his head elevated is a challenge, especially at night. So I am exhausted, because if he's awake... Well, I'm awake.

Book Recommendation: The Used World, by Haven Kimmel. I'm reading it now, and it breaks my heart at least once every three to five pages.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Please notice that Nathan is wearing his Halloween costume, which he does every other day. Also, the red thing on the table is a whole tomato. The boys steal them from the fruit bowl and eat them whole.

Just a Little Patience...

Nate likes to do things himself. The thing is, it takes him five times longer to do them. This wouldn't be so bad, and is expected. But the thing is... say we're leaving to pick Nick up from school. I can start getting ready a half hour early, but it takes times because Nate runs away instead of letting me change his diaper, then when I finally catch him and drag him to the bathroom he insists on sitting on the potty. Which is great! He might pee, but he then refuses to get OFF. Then he has to flush by himself, a task which should not even take enough time to mention, unless you are Nate and it stretches out to five minutes of staring and grasping the handle while I try to explain that he's wasting water and WE HAVE TO GO.

Then Nate will try to put on his own pants, which again is great but he starts by putting his feet into the leg holes... the ones his feet should come OUT. He will run away when I try to put on his shoes or coat, then insist on putting on his coat himself.

When we finally get to the car he climbs in and immediately begins vaulting over the seats. I will give him warnings, then I'll pick him up and try to place him in his own carseat.

And this is where I fail. Because I've given him warnings, I should be able to pick him up and place him in the carseat himself. The rule is, if you want to do it yourself, you have to do it the first time (second or third times are also allowed.) The thing is, Nate fights me. And if you think it's hard putting a kid into a carseat, you should try when he's actively trying to GET OUT. He wants to climb in himself. I, of course, am out of time. We have zero minutes left before we need to be at school, and I am fed up and in a hurry. The thing is... it might take less time to let Nate do it himself than it would to take the time to wrestle him in. I just need to stand there... and wait... until... arggh!

I know it's good to let him do things himself. But when he runs away and fights doing the things we need to do, EVERY thing we need to do, until the last second... ugh.

Thorny Brush

Here are a couple of photos of the horrible, evil, thorny plant life that I have been battling all week. In the close up you can see the big huge thorns. But the smaller, newer branches also have thorns, and they are smaller and closer together and cling more to the clothing, hair, and skin.And in this picture you can see how far out these things have crept - there are several clumps along the side of the lawn, going all the way down to the brook. I'm starting off with just one clump and then I'll decide if it's worth moving on to the next.

Rain Rain

It is raining.

I have no time to post. I am going to go get my hair cut.

Extra Special SLeepy

Andrew used to be this little squishy infant who smiled at me and slept almost all night, waking up only to eat two or three times.

Andrew is now a squishy infant who smiles and laughs and cries all the time, especially if I am looking away from him, or if I try to get into my own bed.

Nicholas had a lot of trouble learning to sleep through the night. I remember going through the process of letting him learn how to fall asleep on his own. I remember doing the same for Nate. And now, unfortunately, I think I need to do the same thing for Andrew. Because last night I was awake more than I was asleep. Besides making me very very tired, it lowers my resistance to hostess cupcakes and pop tarts. Not to mention brownies.

But last night when I tried to wait it out for ten minutes, that's ten minutes of his screeching at midnight which translates to about three hours "reel feel," he sounded like he was choking and I was afraid he was going to seriously hurt himself. Not to mention the fact that the other boys started making "about to wake up" noises in response to the screaming. (Actually, it's a miracle neither of them have woken up before.)

However, something must be done. And if you are me, you know this begins with a list.

The weather up here has improved dramatically. Which is to say that I have been outside with the boys every afternoon, and they sometimes can take their coats off. Most of our expansive lawn is actually mud. Grass grown through it to give the illusion of solid ground, but when I go down to prune the thorny bushes I need to wear boots.

The thorny bushes are impossible, and all of my frustrations go into ripping them up. These things... they are alive, in that they attack you and cling to you. I try to throw one away and it end up wrapped around my arm. Each cut with the big pruning shears brings a number of thorns tumbling on top of me, tangling in my clothes and hair. They snake through the grass and also reach out high, tangling themselves in the branches of the overhead trees. I am trying to find their roots, so I can clear out as much as I can from the source, but I get the feeling I may as well be filling the Grand Canyon with a bucket. I have been working out there all week, and even though it's only maybe 30 minutes a day, it should at least LOOK A LITTLE DIFFERENT. But it doesn't. It looks exactly the same.

Gruel

I've dragged the High Chair up from the basement, and actually fed Andrew Rice Cereal a few times now. He's kind of big, and I thought his belly might appreciate the solid food. But to be honest with you, I'm not sure any cereal has actually made it that far, yet. Whenever I spoon anything into his mouth, Andrew gives me this look as if to say, "What am I supposed to DO with this?" And then he spits it right out.

Don't think I don't hear how irritating my voice is on this video.

You know what's REALLY annoying? Waking up in the rocking chair with the baby in your arms and not remembering waking up or walking down the hall... and having no idea how long you've been in there. And what's MORE annoying is having that stretch of sleep be the longest stretch of sleep you get all night.

Andy is going through this... this THING where he cries whenever I, you know, try to DO anything that doesn't define me as a human pacifier. It is not a fun time.

Connect The Dots

Yesterday we went to the mall as a family outing. Nate fell asleep on the way home. Then he didn't take a nap.

I wore my regular jeans! OK, so there was a significant amount of overspill, and they were probably tighter than they were meant to be, but I could move around in them just fine.

I started pruning the thorny bushes that are slowly taking over the lawn from the sides. They attack you as you cut them down - not kidding. And the thorns dig into you and they hurt. I cut my face, and had to get Steve to take a look at the thorn in my side. (He asked if I wanted him to look in the mirror.)

Today is busy. As usual.

Saturday

Yesterday it was snowing when we woke up. Then in turned to rain. It is still raining. Our backyard is a lake.

I have decided that I am tired all the time, mostly because I am always moving and always getting things for people, and perpetually doing laundry, dishes, and making meals. And people always want something from me - they need me to get something, fix something, find something, and then they wonder why dinner isn't ready yet.

To cheer myself up I have started making lists. I have one of things I need to bring to Tennessee, one of rides we will go on when we go to Disney World (a trip that is months away), and lists of things I need to get done around the house - what rooms need painting? What needs fixing? What do I need to buy? Somehow making lists gives me a feeling of control and accomplishment, even though nothing actually gets DONE.

Brainwashed

Yesterday instead of working out during naptime I climbed into bed and slept. The clock said 1:25 when I climbed in, and 1:55 when I climbed in a second time with Andrew (who just isn't getting the whole naptime thing.) When I opened my eyes again the clock said 3:55. The boys were awake and playing quietly - Nick without any pants on. I usually wake them up at 3pm, no matter what, just so they will sleep at night. And here it was, almost 4, and I was just getting up myself!

I have to admit, I felt wonderful. I felt as though my brain had been rinsed and squeezed and all the impurities washed right out.

My Own Episode of HOUSE

I'm looking for opinions, suggestions... ideas... help.... Because this thing happened to me last night, and I can't figure out what it was.

The light shines in through our kitchen doors and hits anyone facing them full on in the face. Only during dinner, and only during the sunny part of the year.

Last night, as I was leading the boys up the stairs to take a bath, I suddenly got a headache. I also noticed that my face was hot, as though I were embarassed about something. I helped the kids get undressed and into the tub, and I glanced in the mirror. My face was RED. It looked like I had spent the day in the sun with no sunscreen. Every part of my face was bright red, like my cheeks after a run. My lips were red. My ears were bright red. And my head was killing me.

My first thought was that I was turning red because I was sitting with my face to the sun during dinner. But the redder my face got... well, dinner wasn't THAT long, and this is New Hampshire, not Jamaica. And I just couldn't figure out what was going ON.

Now, dinner had been a bit stressful, I had decided to make something different (tuna steaks) and I had to go about cooking with Andrew screaming in the background (because I was not holding him). Then dinner was less than pleasant (three year olds do not like tuna steaks) (I over cooked the tuna steaks). I DID eat some tuna. I ate onions and garlic and a salad with sunflower seeds and poppyseed dressing. And all of these things I have had before. In abundance. So I couldn't reason it out to being an allergic reaction.

At one point I had myself convinced I was having a stroke. My heart was beating like mad, but that's when I realized I was tense and stressing myself out. So I reclined in my bed, pretended I wasn't breastfeeding Andrew, and took deep breaths while Steve put the boys to bed. And by 7:30 I was my regular, pale and pasty self once more.

Any ideas what the heck happened to me? Because it kind of scared me.

More

Last night Nathan dislocated his elbow. Remember when Nick did that? And then did it again? Well, I'm happy to share that this time I was not involved. Nathan was playing one of his games with Steve - one of the screaming, hanging, climbing ones - when suddenly he started crying.

I knew something was wrong because, besides not using his arm, during bath time he just SAT there. He didn't splash. He didn't play. He didn't pretend the back of the bathub was a slide, or dump a bucket of water on his brother's head. He just SAT there.

We tried everything to get him to use his arm. Steve let him play Wii. Nate played, but he would only move his fingers. Not his arm.

So I took him to the emergency room. Nate appeared very small, about the height of the trash cans on the room. He was also very brave. He didn't even cry when the doctor popped his arm back.

Steve, of course, was horrified. And I know he was because I remember the feeling - twice - when I did it to Nick.

Parenting Problems

Sunday night Steve woke me up after I fell asleep to tell me that Gunther had disappeared. We spent ten minutes calling for him in the dark of our backyard, until finally Steve put on his boots and went out to find him. I was picturing his flattened body in the street, and wondering if I should start working on posters when Gunther ran up the back porch steps. Yesterday morning, instead of sitting right outside the door staring at us as we ate breakfast, he was nowhere to be found. Until I took a peek out and saw him lounging in the neighbor's yard.

See, we have this electric fence, which beeps when Gunther gets too close to the property line. And it works very, very well for him. The thing is, you have to remember to replace the batteries.

Yesterday the Oil Man came to deliver the eleven gallons of oil (which will cost us a thousand dollars) and Gunther started barking at him. I was working out, and after a halfhearted attempt to get him to stop, I just let him keep barking and going crazy, thinking "he's inside - what's the worst thing that can happen?" Well, one of the worst things is that Gunther would throw his body into the window and BREAK IT. Which, of course happened.

Add to this the fact that Nicholas gave himself a fat lip doing a flying leap to get his pillow into his school cubby (think lots of blood, lots of tears). Add to all this the fact that I made Nicholas cry this morning because I refused to give him the last two, stale, cold toaster waffles because he had already had three french toasts and the waffles were supposed to be MINE. And Nate is crying and choking next to me at this very moment shouting "Gimme MILK Gimme MILK" but I have developed a deafness to anything that does not contain the word "PLEASE"

And I just pulled the syrup bottle from out of Nick's mouth, and I'm this far from putting the baby's swing outside because kids are always sitting in it and playing the stupid tinny music, and it's not Andrew!...

I have to go yell some more, now.