Old Friends

So... I let this blog go by the wayside.

I didn't mean to. It wasn't an intentional thing... at first. It's just that it was getting harder and harder to write things down. I was stretching more and more to find interesting things to say. The blog... this blog... it knew everything about me already, and I'd run out of interesting things to say.

I've had a number of close friends in my life, and most of them, many of them from my 20's, I imagines I would have as close friends for the rest of my life. I imagined living in the same town, raising our children together. If one of us needed time off for a date night, or shopping, we'd simply pick up the phone. In an emergency, we could drive each other's children to and from school. Our kids would play together in our backyards. We would spend long, lazy summer nights chatting while the kids splashed in the sprinkler. I know, it sounds insane, but I honestly believed this would happen.

It's not that I ever changed my mind about that. I still love these people. I haven't hung out with many of them recently, but I like to think that, if I did, I would still love them. We would still laugh together and be kind to one another. 

One day, we just spoke to each other a little less. One day we spent a little less time thinking about each other. We started turning down invitations so that we could do other things... and then one day we forgot to invite the other person at all... Or maybe one of us got very busy and simply filled her life with other things...

You think about calling, maybe, but as the days go by it just gets more and more awkward until finally you realize that, if you did call, you probably wouldn't have anything to talk about. You need a reason to pick up the phone. And unfortunately, you don't have one.

And then suddenly you find out one of your friends has had another child and you hadn't realized it. Or you go to send holiday cards and you realize you don't know your friend's address... Maybe you try to think back to the last time you spoke and you realize it's been years. Years. 

Can you still call someone a good friend if you haven't spoken to them in years? 

I sort of have feelings like that about this blog. I used to write every day. Every single day. For years.

And then... well.. I stopped writing. I stopped knowing what to say. 

That's when I actually made the choice to stop writing.

I'm taking it back.

I'm not done writing. I miss it. I have things I would like to say.

I like to think this says something about me. I like to think it means I won't stop thinking of my old friends as good friends, and that, eventually, I can be better and call them up and spend some real time with them. It takes a little time and a little effort and, if you're me, it may take a little planning, but it's worth it.

First Sleepover

Tonight Nick is enjoying the company of one of his friends. All night long.

I must have been five when I had my first sleep over. Nick is eight. But this is our very first one, unless you count Grammy. 

So far, so good... unless you count his friend refusing to eat corn at dinner, and Andy crying for ever because the older boys wanted Bakugan on TV and he wanted Scooby Doo (which we do not own.)

I'm a little nervous. I just hope they eventually go to sleep. And stay asleep. And don't wake too early.

In a few minutes I'm going to have to make them all go to sleep. 

Ugh.

Food For Thought

One of the best things about being on the boat was not having to cook. Not only did I not have to rustle up three meals and two snacks a day for a bunch of picky eaters, I didn't even have to think about getting food for myself. Because on this vacation, we got three sit-down meals a day. An extravagant breakfast, a lunch with lunch-dessert, and a three course dinner. This was every day.








And in between we also had coffee in the early morning, a cooler on the deck and a snack basket inside, and a Happy Hour with what someone called "Downers" (a fru-fru drink for when the sun goes down) and hors d'oeuvres.  I gained five pounds just looking at the food.

On top of that, I must mention the table settings. Every single time we sat down it seemed the table was set with cute props in the center piece and fancy folded napkins. It made me love sitting down to the table, even before the nice cook with the New Zealand accent would come up to explain what we were eating.

Make Up!

I drew a moustache on Nathan for Trick-or-Treating.

Well, actually, I drew the moustache on him for the Karate Halloween event. On Halloween, Nathan was in a hurry and drew the moustache on himself. It looked kind of cool - not as round and twirly, but like Wario or Waluigi. Bad-guy-ish.

Trick or Treating in our town was last night, and despite the fact that we had already gone at Lillian's, we had used the second go at candy accumulation to help keep the boys from self-destruction during the power outage. Once the day came, we didn't see any other way out except to take them, even though I was so tired of Halloween and dressing up I could have screamed.

But what I want to talk about came before then. See, having used my one eyeliner to create a number of moustaches, I decided I deserved a new eyeliner. Actually, I deserved two, one in my traditional grey color, and another one that was purple - I know, I know, who do I think I am, some 23-year-old-clubber? But it made me happy.

Unfortunately, I left these eyeliners in plain sight next to the sink in my bathroom. We were going to a party at a friend's house that afternoon, and the boys were excited, running around like little lunatics, so I shooed them upstairs so that I could actually fold some laundry, load the dishwasher, sort through the clutter on the kitchen counter - what IS this stuff and how does it get here?

Twenty minutes before we are about to leave, Nathan bursts into the kitchen looking like this:

We had to have a conversation about make-up, Mommy's make-up, how it's ridiculously expensive, how we don't meddle, and how we don't write all over our faces before going to a party. Unless it's that kind of party.

This party was a 40th birthday party with some friends I have known since college. Someone happened to bring some photos of us dressed up for shows, dancing around our first new apartment, and dressing up for parties disguised as doormice. Including one famous picture of three of us sitting in large sinks with odd white clown-ish make-up on our faces.

Of course I let Nathan wear the make-up to the party.

Baby Bean

She isn't mine. But isn't she beautiful? Aren't her parents so lucky?

Of course, in this photo she's worn out from having three boys poke at her. Nick was amazed and in love and talked about her for days. Nate was indifferent. Andy flat out told me he didn't like her once we got home. Apparently she isn't half as entertaining as the cats she lives with.

Larissa

I saw my friend Larissa the night of the Bronx Zoo.

I hadn't seen her in years. It happens, I suppose, when you grow up and then both of you move away. She is on a different coast. And we never seem to be in New York at the same time.

I was so, so glad to have the chance to catch up with her. It wasn't enough time, though.

Baby Shower

I went to a baby shower.

It's been ages since I've been to a baby shower. A dear friend from college and her wonderful wonderful husband are expecting a baby girl this summer. The shower was a gathering of people I haven't seen in years, and it was wonderful. The mother of the mom-to-be is Sue, from Susan's Losin'. And I got to see her, and she looks fabulous, I have to say. An inspiration for anyone who thinks they can't shed pounds.

Also, baby girls are wonderful. I mean, I guess that, as far as infants go, they are pretty much the same as baby boys. But the stuff that goes along with a baby girl is all pink. The pink these days is off-set with brown, and it's just so, so... I don't know. I just got the impression, sitting there and watching baby stuff pile up in the corner, that I could smell that milky baby smell and see that newborn squishiness, like before the baby fills out, and the skin is still all loose and wrinkly, and they just sleep and try to open their eyes and yawn, and they cry like little meowing kittens...

Not that I'm.... you know. I just love little babies. In the daytime. When I'm not sleeping all night and doing things that take longer than fifteen minutes.

But still... pink! It was fun to buy pink.

Reach Out

Today I spoke to two people I hadn't spoken to in awhile.

One was my friend Miranda. She used to be my roommate, and at one point I couldn't imagine life without speaking to her every single day. Now months go by without touching base, and that's a crime.

The other was my sister Emily. Emily is probably one of the few people I speak to less than I speak to Miranda. She lives far, far away, in a different time zone, and in a world where they don't allow children or the kind of pants I wear - California. But I wish she loved next door.

One of my new resolutions is going to be to bother people on the phone more. Because I just shouldn't let so much time go by without touching base.

I'm going to use this as a quick opportunity to point out my new link to Secret Agent L's blog. She is a chronic do-gooder, fairy god-mother type. I don't know if I'd ever go so far as to become an official affiliated agent, but her blog has inspired me to plot certain Random Acts Of Kindness. I would encourage you to think about performing some yourselves. Make the world a better place, people.

New York State Of Mind

We're back from New York.

On the way home, Steve mentioned that it was probably the longest we've ever stayed as a family - four nights. And he may be right. But in all the time we were there, I left the apartment only once. (I don't count the time I went to the store - I didn't even cross the street.)

I was sick on this trip - my cold came back full force and I was dopey on cold meds the entire time. It was kind of nice, actually. Usually I'm dragging the kids around to go places and do things, but this time we just spent too much time watching TV and talking and just doing nothing.

Which isn't to say we did nothing. We had Christmas, part 2, where I realized my gift giving skills need brushing up, and where we all got many wonderful presents. We are so lucky. I got to see Heather, a friend from high school, and that was really nice. My parents took us all to The Big Apple Circus, featuring Bello Nock of the gravity defying hair. Linda and her friend Penny made us a wonderful New Year's Even dinner of roast cornish game hens, couscous, and an arugala and goat cheese salad. I drank too much wine (not that much) and sang while Winston and my dad played piano. And the next day the boys went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox with Anne-E and Jamie.

And now we're back. I have a list a mile long of things I need to do, and we're all very excited to get back to our routines. Well, at least I am, and Andrew. That's at least two of us.

Photos to follow.

Was Going to Say Something....

Along the lines of "this wedding was really beautiful" or "it was nice to see my friends" or "I liked doing things because I wanted to do them without having a small child crying or saying 'mama' or bonking his brother over the head and also, no laundry!"

The truth is, any time I don't have to cook dinner is a treat. Any time I don't have to clean up is a double treat. To have all responsibilities lifted for a couple of days was bliss in and of itself. Add friends, a beautiful wedding, and food to die for...

Wedding in Santa Fe

I laughed.

I cried.

It was better than CATS.

Off to Santa Fe

I have already packed my camera for the trip to Santa Fe, and I'm not about to unpack to find it just to put up more photos.

I'm going to Santa Fe for a wedding. Miranda and Jud are getting married! It should be a good time, and I'll be back on Monday.

I love you, internet people! By-eeee!

May Day

I haven't been as faithful about posting as I have been in the past. Those of you that have ever given blogging a try know how hard it can be to come up with words for a post every day, or even every other day. And some days I just don't know what to say without complaining or repeating myself or sounding trite.

The truth is, a lot has been going on. Just not with me. With my faithful readers. My friends and my family. And their stories are not mine to talk about, even though I may think about them constantly.

So I write about what's going on. I have poison ivy. It sucks. It's gross. Next week I'm going to Florida for a wedding and I can't go dress shopping because my arm is leaking goo, and I don't have anything that doesn't make me look like a burn victim. And it's a little bit of a problem, because I don't think I can carry off full length gloves. But at the end of the day, I HAVE A RASH! Compared to what most of my readers are going through, it's as normal and everyday as not liking peas or stubbing my toe, and I wouldn't post about THOSE. I mean, I don't have cancer. I'm not about to have an operation. I haven't broken any bones. I have not had to be rushed to the hospital, nor have I had to care for anyone who has been. I am still living with my husband. I have not gotten pregnant. I haven't gotten married. I'm not about to graduate from law school. I am not even going on an African Safari, thank you very much. So what, exactly, do I have to say?

Well, I think what I want to say is that I am grateful for the things that I have, and that I think of everyone often. And I hope that everyone knows it.

Good News

I love getting news about my friends, especially good news! So... you know, send it in as soon as you get it. Or I'll send Nathan after you.

No New Photos

My friend Miranda came over for a sleepover, which is so cool. I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to spend time with a grow up who is MY friend. Steve watched Nick and Nate while we went out for sushi. I was intoxicated with liberty and raw fish. It was awesome.

But I did not take any pictures.

This one is for Molly and Emma

Monday My Friend Betsy (MFB) had her two little girls. Both babies are fine. Both parents are fine. And their big brother is fine, too. Although they all just came home yesterday, so who knows.

The babies are Molly (5lbs, 15oz.) and Emma (6 lbs, 2 oz.) I can't wait to meet them! And buy them little pink frilly dresses with headbands for their bald baby heads. Hey - I have to get my girl fix somewhere!


For the record, both babies were bigger at birth than their older brother was. And I had to laugh because Molly was born exactly two whole pounds lighter than my Nathan. Which isn't a lot when you're stepping on the scale (at least for me) but when it comes to carrying and birthing another human every ounce counts!


Congratulations, Betsy! Hooray for baby girls!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I like to think that I am supportive of my friends. But when I think about it, there are a number of performances, or concerts, or shows, which I have not been able to make it to. It's just not as easy as it looks. I have the feeling that, without kids, it would be a lot easier to make to the the assortment of friend-related activities I have missed. But regardless, the point is I feel bad for not supporting people more. And so... so I am vowing to be as supportive as I can. In any way that I can reasonably be, pregnant and with two small children.

Someone very special to me has started selling jewelry she makes over the internet. Check her out , she's OhSusanna. Her items are worth a look - I happen to think they are pretty neat.

And I will try to make more announcements as other performances and accomplishments are met. For the masses of readers this blog gets! Oh, and many more videos of Twinkle Twinkle.

Wait! Let me Explain!

Nicholas on the teacup ride. He appeared to have a good time. Jamie said Nathan was mostly confused, though. I, of course, was on the sidelines watching, as the teacup ride would scramble the new baby's brains.
I wanted to explain and apologize about yesterday's post. See, Debs had posted a bit on HER blog about why she was blogging, trying to figure things out, and it got me to thinking about reasons why I blog. After all, I'm pretty good at it. I mean, it may not be the most interesting stuff to read, but I post EVERY DAY, and take it from me, that's harder than it seems. Of course, the obvious reason that I blog is to keep in touch with my family and friends who are far away and we don't get to see very often. My parents and my siblings basically watch the boys grow up via the photos on this blog. Many people find out what is happening via the words on this blog.

Besides just keeping in touch, this blog is meant to be a record of some sort. I post things here that I might not remember in a few months or years, and this way there will be some record of it all. Because that baby book I have? I still haven't reached last summer, and I might never even get pictures of the new baby in there.

But the truth is, I spend the first part of every morning trying to find a "safe" topic to post about. You might think this is crazy, or needless, but things are constantly being taken out of context or blown out of proportion. Case in point: Steve asked me yesterday if I was mad at him, and if there was something I wanted to post about him on this blog. NO! I SWEAR! I love my husband and I would never post anything on this blog that didn't reflect that.

But there are many, many things that I think about, and maybe that I feel strongly about, that I usually choose not to post about. And others that I have posted about thinking nothing of it, but it turned out I hurt a whole bunch of feelings. Taboo topics / comments include: "I wish my husband would pick up his socks," (Steve - I love you anyway!) or "My friend said / did this thing and it made me feel bad," or "I am not a bad mother just because I let my kids watch TV and feed them cupcakes," or "Gay people should be able to get married and have children."

Anyway, I was not the happiest I could have been yesterday. I admit, I have been sick, and I am pregnant, and yesterday I got a big case of being lonely and feeling left out. You can chalk it up to hormones, or just my belligerent manner. Sorry! Life will go on, just know that I wasn't really mad at anyone in particular, I just get frustrated sometimes tip-toeing around. And today, today I just put on my boots and stomped all over the poor tulips.

How I Know It's A Boy:

Because I have two boys already, the gender of this baby-to-be is usually one of the first things people bring up when they find out I'm pregnant. I just want everyone to know, up ahead of time, that I already know this third one is a BOY. Male. Y chromosome.

How am I so sure? Well, I reached the conclusion scientifically. You see, a baby's gender is determined by chromosomes. X for a girl, Y for a boy. And there are only so many of each that float around the atmosphere for soon-to-be-pregnant mother's to inhale. (I told you, this was very scientific.)

This is where my friend Betsy comes in. Betsy has a little boy two months older than Nathan. And two months before my baby is scheduled to make it's arrival into the world, she is going to have HER second child. Oh - and her third. That's right, Betsy is having TWIN GIRLS!

So you see what happened? Betsy sucked up all the girls stuff before I could get to it, and now I'm going to have a third boy. Which probably would have happened anyway, because Steve is SO MANLY. And I'm sure all of my scientific explanations will be upheld when I finally go in for my REAL ultrasound in August, and they can confirm that yes, I am indeed carrying a boy.

See, a baby is exciting, but Twin Girls is exciting times two.