Nicholas is almost six.
I worry about Nick a lot. Maybe because he's my firstborn.
He's such a daydreamer. I watch him in gym class, and he's usually staring off into space, waving his arms around, absolutely not interested in anything going on in the class. And I know he's the same way in school. I know he is, because I was the same way.
I identify with Nick a lot. I know he wants to fit in with the other kids, and I see how he looks at them. Today we went tot he park and he couldn't get anyone else to play with him. And I have to give him credit, at least he asked them. I can't remember ever wanting anyone else to play with me. I just wanted them to leave me alone and Id play with my brother and sister. Anyway, when the time came for us to leave, Nick cried because he hadn't found anyone to play with yet.
My heart broke. Just a little. I feel like he just wants someone to like him. He needs someone who is his own age to like him, to want to play with him. I know it probably eats him up. When he spaces out during class he's probably dreaming of how he would play with his friends on the trampoline and the rings. Meanwhile the other kids in the class are cutting him in line.
Now, I could be projecting, here. But I also might not. It tears me up. Mostly because I know it's only the beginning. I know it's only going to get worse. And there is nothing I can do to make it easier for him.
6 comments:
It will also get better. He's an exceptionally sensitive and caring kid and once his peers start maturing a little bit, they'll warm up to him and realize how lucky they are to have him as a friend.
I totally agree with Jamie. But I was the same way... when I wasn't talking to myself and making up imaginary worlds and stories, I was wishing all the mean and boring normal kids would play with me. It may be heartbreaking, but he's a better kid than ten of those other kids!
Yeah. Do you know any cool or interesting adults who weren't kind of weird as kids? I don't. Do you know a lot of stupid or smarmy people who were probably the first picked in gym? I do. In the meantime, he's cultivating his inner-world. He will find the other weirdoes soon enough. Or they will be lucky enough to find him.
I'm with Anne-E. Is there anyone you know who is "normal" who is really a good, nice, creative, inspiring person? No. The slightly-skew-of-center people however, are sensitive, sincere, day-dreaming, innovators with an unerring sense of what & who is really worthwhile. Wait til Nick finds them or they find him. It'll all click into place.
I'm 30 and I still can't find anyone who wants to play with me ;) I still think I'm alright though. Although, I will admit, I kinda cried just now reading this, 7/8 for Nick and 1/8 for little me. Do you know any cool or interesting adults who aren't still kind of weird? I don't :)
I'll play with you Emily...but you're never home when I call!!
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