Parenthood

My favorite movie of all time is Parenthood.

It always has been, ever since I saw it as a teenager. I made my mother watch it, only she started it on the wrong side of the laser disc so she it didn't quite have the same effect on her. But for me, this movie had everything. Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves, and a happy ending where everyone got a baby as a party favor.

I still love this movie, even if Steve has told me he will never watch it with me again, because the way I cry at the end makes him nervous.

As a parent, different parts of this movie come back to me in different forms. Maybe it's wanting to shelter my children from information that I know will hurt them. Maybe it's wanting them to succeed. Maybe it's defending them to other parents. Most recently I've been reminded of the scene in the principle's office, where the parents of a nine-year-old have been informed that their child will need Special Ed. After a pause, Steve Martin stands up, points directly at his wife and shouts "She smoked grass!"

Whenever one of my children acts out, is a little too active, a little slow to catch on, I wonder if it's something I did. He can't sit still? He has bad handwriting? He refuses to listen to the books in Storytime? I should have practiced writing with him more. I should have let them play with crayons and markers at a younger age. I shouldn't have watched hours of ER when he was only months old. We should have sold the TV. It's because I had that glass of wine when I was pregnant. It's because I refused to give up lunch meats and diet soda and the chemicals affected his development in the womb.

The articles and press out there don't do anything to put my mind a ease. They simply keep saying these are terrible things to do, and can harm your infant. So how do I know it's not my fault? I don't. I just don't.

Twenty years later, Ron Howard decided to put this movie into a a TV series. Parenthood is on NBC Tuesday nights. At first I was horrified and refused to have anything to do with this show because I thought it would make me unfaithful to the movie. The cast was different, I never liked that actress anyway, and it made me feel old.

But I was too curious, and now I love it. Sure, the series can be predictable and all that, but in between the necessary plot moments are actual parenting choices and decisions and struggles. There are no babies, just preschoolers, but I've gotten to the point where I can really appreciate parents being portrayed as more than just parents. More than mothers and fathers who know best or know everything, but as human beings who sometimes have no idea what the heck they're doing, but do it anyway.

If I said I liked it more than American Idol, would it make me look old?