Nap

I have officially stopped trying to get Nick to nap, ever. Unless he is ill or woke up at 4am.

Because Nick refuses to sleep, and he manages to keep his brothers awake, so if I do, on occasion, get the idea to try and get him to rest, no one will sleep at all.

Nathan is also growing out of his nap. More often than not I will send him to play, sometimes making him wait until Andy has fallen asleep, and sometimes not even waiting for that.

Andy will sleep. But he is very aware that he doesn't HAVE to. He wants to be up playing, like his brothers. He wants to be outdoors before it gets too dark. So he fights it.

He does not get out of the bed. No. Instead he wriggles and waves his arms and talks and turns around.

Sometimes, in an effort to model behavior and lead by example, I will put down my book, close my eyes, and stay very still. But the problem is I will fall asleep. I can hear the boys whispering and talking to themselves, but I am falling asleep.

Now, I do not want to be asleep. The days of midnight feedings are long gone. I get enough sleep at night. I have things I need to do during the day, important things such as folding laundry or emptying the dishwasher or taking those presents I purchased for Christmas out of the car while the kids are not looking. I can't fritter my time away relaxing and waiting for small boys to sleep, let alone dream the day away myself. But I am the one falling asleep, and the boys are the ones in perpetual motion to avoid unconsciousness.

If I give up and leave the bed, Andy does not sleep. If he does not sleep, Andy is fine until about 4pm, when he begins to cry. The littlest thing sets him off - the wrong cup at dinner, his brother playing with a toy that Andy wants to play with, someone else choosing the TV show to watch.... it doesn't matter. Andy can tantrum with the best of them, and there is no talking him out of it. He can't be reasoned with and refuses comfort. Because he is so tired. So, so very tired.

Putting him to bed seems the only alternative, but it's usually a good 2 hours before his bedtime. And I do not enjoy 4am.

I'm going on this way so you will understand: I am now scheduling a nap for myself each day. No. I fall asleep by accident while trying to avoid chaos.