Resolved: Not much, really...

Well, today is the last day of 2010.

Time flies, really. I can't believe I've been writing this blog for as long as I have, for one thing. Or that my children have grown so much - browse back to one of my earlier posts (not the first few, I didn't have pictures.)

I still remember New Year's 1999, Y2K, and feeling that the future was Here! And now I'm realizing that I know adults born after I graduated High School.

As an adult I started making New Year's Resolutions. Not a huge list I had no hope of living up to, but five small, easy-to-reach goals that would get me closer to becoming the person I want to be. Over the years I have included things like "Work out more often," "Get the kids to play outside more," and "Eat Less Meat." I haven't accomplished everything on my list, but I make an honest effort.

I don't think New Year's should be the only time to make resolutions. But it is a pretty good marker. You can't forget this time of year, and you can look back and see how far you have come, if at all.

It's also a time to look forward. A time to be optimistic. And resolutions really can say a lot about who we are. What do YOU want? What do you want to DO this year? Who do you want to become? Will you spend less money? Make more money? Eat less food? Swim more laps? Wear better clothes? Eat out more? Feed the hungry?

This year I will make more playdates for my kids.

This year I will become more flexible, both physically and mentally.

This year I will smile more and yell less.

This year I will take care of many of the things that need doing around the house. Like fixing holes in the walls and removing peeling wallpaper. And I will do it as ecologically minded as my budget allows.

Happy New Year, Everyone! May it bring great things to us all.

The Sticky Truth

This post contains some delicate information not everyone may be comfortable with. Specifically, I'm talking about my leg hair.

I have issues with my leg hair. I simply don't know what to do with it. When I shave it off I can still see the dark roots under my skin, and I get stubble within a day. Seriously, I have five o'clock shadow on my legs. So I usually prefer waxing. The trouble with waxing is that you have to wait for the hairs to be long enough. In the summer, this is inconvenient. In the winter, I just let it go until the hairs actually become TOO long and waxing would be too painful so I go back to shaving.

But yesterday I seized a few moments and sat down with my wax strips. I managed to wax one leg with no problems. And then I placed the first wax strip on my other leg... and the wax didn't come up.

See, to wax, you peel away two strips with wax sandwiched int he middle, place one on your leg, and yank it away, and the hairs are supposed to get caught in the wax and get yanked out. But in this case, the wax decided it liked my leg and separated from the strip, leaving me with a hair leg covered in wax.

I tried to lift it off with another strip, like getting gum off of something with more gum, but I just ended up with another layer of wax. And then another. And then, in some fit of denial, I tried waxing the spot next to my new wax clump, and ended up with a second waxy area on my leg.

So now I stopped. I had a leg covered in wax which would not come off.

I walked down the hall to the bathtub, and tried rinsing it off under warm water, but it didn't seem to work. I thought rubbing it might coax it off, but I just ended up with wax all over my fingers.

This is when I decided I needed to take a shower. But I still had on my sweater, and I didn't want to get wax all over it. I had wax on my fingers, remember? I also didn't want to touch my hair. The hair on my head. Because I like hair there. So getting undressed was a funny dance of shrugging, hopping, and flapping.

I ended up in the shower, scrubbing the wax off with generous applications of shampoo. It hurt. A lot. And then I sacrificed a razor blade to the waxy remnants of leg hair I had left.

So my real question is: why do women shave their legs? Who thought this up? My life would be so much simpler if I could just let them go.

Modern Dance

Going The Distance

Steve and I are in the process of planning a few trips this year. These trips involve getting on a plane and flying hundreds, maybe thousands of miles. When I think of travel, this is usually what I think of - planes, the TSA, and all the stupid "security" measures, not to mention the ways the airlines have started charging for checked bags, all while complaining loudly about carry-ons, and how that will effect me and my three children.

But that is only one kind of travel. A few times a year we also make trips in our car. We drive to NY, or Tennessee.

We had a snowstorm. We haven't gotten as much snow as New York, but our travel is still affected. Not just long range travel, such as hopping on a plane, but getting in a car. It is so slippery, we can't even drive to the store, or to the movies.

Just walking up the driveway to the mailbox is an adventure.

Recovery

After Christmas, there is a certain amount of time to be dedicated to recovery.

From what, you ask?

Well, first and foremost, for me, was lack of sleep. I've been stressed enough over the past week about gifts, but also about cleaning my house for Steve's family Christmas Eve. Every year they gather here and bring food and we do a gift swap. Why I stress about my home is beyond me - it's hardly ever THAT bad, and these people are family. But I do. I wash windows and mop the floors and wonder where the strange smell in the bathroom is coming from, and then it turns out I've done it too early and have to do it all over again the morning of...

Anyway, I hadn't been sleeping well, and the Nick woke everyone up at 4am Christmas morning. So I needed to catch up on some Zzzz's.

This morning I worked out. See, last week, with so many holiday concerts (see Andy's photo above) and gift swaps and extra little things to do, I just stopped. And I'd also been eating so, so much more than usual. Pumpkin bread and cookies and cupcakes and cheese, and other kinds of cheese, and then some nuts, and then more cheese, and then just one more cupcake before bed. And maybe another nibble of this pumpkin bread. Well, now there's just a little bit left, it would be silly to just leave that on the plate. Here, let me wash it down with this pitcher of cream.

Soooo.... yeah..... This morning I hopped back on the treadmill, and also the bathroom scale (ugh!) and we'll be getting back to what I call "regulated eating," or what normal people call "not eating cookies for breakfast."

Then there's the house.. Decorations are still up, but I have put away a lot of gifts already, including clothing. Today we found homes for new toys. Wrapping paper and boxes have been put to new use, recycled, or stored in my "box closet," which is where I put things like wrapping paper, empty picture frames, and Steve's dress shirts.

Slowly, we are getting back to normal. This snowstorm will not help, I'm sure. But still... we're getting there.

It's the day before Christmas!
The big day draws near!
We have run out of time!
It's already here!

I've been baking and cleaning
And shopping and wrapping
And singing and hanging
And watching and clapping.

With so many items on
My to-do list-it,
I'm count myself lucky
That I haven't missed it.

By all of the must-dos
I've been so distracted
And frantic, not happy
Is how I have acted.

It's easy to forget
That there is a reason
To all of the crazy things
We do this season.

It isn't to party
Or hang the most lights
Or give the most gifts
Or avoid the most fights.

This time of year
Is for Peace, Hope, and Joy,
For Goodwill to all,
Not the best, biggest toy.

To spend time with family
And our friends who are closest
Will make the best memories,
And this matters the mostest.

We all do out best to help
Those who have not,
We write out our check,
Drop our coins on the pot

And maybe we donate
A favorite old sweater
Or a toy, or canned food,
Or else answer a letter

To old Santa Clause
Who could use a hand
With his to-do list.
I'm sure you understand.

But all of this rushing
And running and driving
Can come to an end,
'Cause the day is arriving!

I wish you all Peace
And Love and Goodwill!
May your turkey be warm,
Your champagne have a chill.

If I could capture this feeling,
Place it under your tree
It's what I would give you,
Your present from me.

Teacher Gifts

Every year after Thanksgiving, it hits me: I need teacher gifts.

Teacher gifts are really tricky. I want to give them something that is nice, that tells the teacher they are appreciated, but that isn't ugly or tacky enough to be pitched into the trash right away. And also, I need 15 of them, so they need to be inexpensive and mass produced.

A couple of years ago I went with chocolate, but it was expensive, and not everyone wants or needs chocolate. Last year we made salt dough ornaments, which were easier to make and fun to decorate. They weren't perfection or anything, but they kids made them.

This year, I opted for food. I decided to make pumpkin bread and give that out. Lillian makes it every year, and it is a huge huge hit, especially in this house, where mysteriously Steve and the boys never seem to get enough. I can't think of who else might be gobbling it up. Maybe Frank? Anyway, I asked Lillian if she might share her pumpkin bread secret, and she obliged. She even let me print it out and attach it to the finished gift, to add a little something. "Here is some pumpkin bread and also the recipe."

On top of that, Lillian came by one day with little ceramic bread tins... you know, pans, the thing you bake the bread it. They were so cute, decorated with nutcrackers and snowmen and such. Christmassy like. She also brought by cute bags to put the finished product in, but I never was able to fit the finished loaf in a bag, so I went out and got transparent holiday wrap.

It was much more of a pain than I expected. Making one batch at a time, which is how much my oven will bake, it takes over an hour to bake. And almost 2 hours for the bigger loaves. Taking the loaves out for cooling, washing the bakeware, and then reassembling the loaves, including cutting the paper with the recipe out with fancy scissors and pasting it on colored construction paper to make it look nicer.... the curling ribbon.... it just took time. And I wouldn't let the kids help, because they would eat the bread.

Also, the finished product is heavier than I expected, and I am afraid the child presenting the gift will accidentally drop it and it will smash.

But it looks great. I mean, if you were a teacher, wouldn't this beat a mug?

Green: A Holiday Color

Here's a gift you can give me.

I read an article recently that stated this fact: the amount of trash produced by people increases by 25% over the holiday season.

I would believe it. I might even go so far as to say it doubles. Think of all of the gifts - the packaging, and the items they replace. Each new cell phone means an old one gets tossed. The same for cameras and computers. This doesn't count the actual wrapping paper, paper made for a one time use, to be torn and then stuffed into trash bags that weight less than one of my boots.

This isn't even getting into the food we prepare and throw away. The parties where we use paper plates, foil baking tins we can toss, and paper table cloths, all because we want to save ourselves the trouble of the clean up.

As you might know, I get a little crazy when it comes to our Earth. I worry about my impact on this planet, and genuinely do not understand people who casually use plastic water bottles or shrug off the amount of waste they make. I had a second blog about it, but I somehow started running out of things to say. That doesn't mean I have stopped trying to make progress, it just means I'm busy doing things other than write about it. I realize that sometimes the problem is so big, and it's easier to either choose to believe a solution will be found without your individual input, or that it somehow doesn't matter. And to you, it may not. You may be dead. But your grandchildren may suffer for it.

I have made it a practice not to purchase wrapping paper. (Santa is allowed one roll.) I use odd things, like leftover butcher paper, coloring book pages the kids have used, all taped together. Sometimes Santa assembles toys and leaves them under the tree with a ribbon! This is one of the ways I (and Santa) try to reduce waste. I re-use ribbons from everything. (I can remember Mom and Linda collecting ribbon off the floor after Christmas when I was a kid and rolling my eyes. How things have changed!)

Anyway, if you want to give me a gift this Holiday Season, please keep an eye on the things you are throwing away. Can it be reused? Recycled? Did you need it in the first place? Please make an effort to take a few extra steps to reduce. If you can't do it because it's the right thing to do, do it because you love me!

Merry Christmas, Planet Earth! This post was my gift to you!

Too Smart For My Own Good

A few weeks ago, I ordered someone a Christmas Present.

I was kind of proud about this one. Not only was it one of the first gifts that I purchased, but it was for one of those people I never know what to get, usually one of the last people left on my list, someone totally impossible to shop for. I'm not mentioning any names.

I received delivery of the gift. I remember getting it. I remember opening it at my kitchen counter. And I remember thinking to my self that I should put it away, that I couldn't keep it in the kitchen until Christmas, because Christmas was still weeks away.

And two weeks ago I realized I hadn't wrapped the gift yet. And also that I had no idea where I put it.

I have looked in the three major places I usually stash gifts, searching each box, each bag, every pocket and every stack of papers. But I can't find it.

So I went back online, figuring I would purchase another one, only to find they were sold out. "Sold Out! More After Christmas!"

I'm really frustrated and angry, not to mention in a bit of a panic. I know it will turn up eventually, unless I threw it out somehow. But remember my engagement ring? I think it was missing for almost three months before I found it again. I need this much, much sooner than that.

Not Scary At All

Anyone else think Elf Yourself is getting old?

Well... Maybe.

A Week Away

We only have another week.

One more week in which I anxiously await the delivery of gifts I have ordered. One week to bake pumpkin bread, wrap it up, and deliver it to dozens of teachers and mentors. One week left to wrap wrap wrap.

I really do love this season. Even though it makes me crazy.

Three Years Ago...

Happy Birthday To You!




Happy Birthday To You!





Happy Birthday, Dear Andrew....



Happy Birthday To You!


I know, I know. I can't believe it either.

Holiday Overload

Does this happen every year? No, not Christmas. I'm almost positive Christmas is an annual event.

I'm speaking about the insanity surrounding Christmas. I know I get wound up and start worrying about the gifts I'm giving people. I stress and fret because I want each gift to be the perfect one, and I fall short so, so often. It's funny, really, because I want each gift to be a symbol of how close we are, but not knowing what to get probably signifies that we simply aren't close at all. But in that case I want the gift to symbolize my intent to bridge the gap.

Anyway, on top of the gift search for my family, I do Holiday Cards. I know they are falling out of favor. I've read articles about how social networking sites have made them obsolete. Thanks to Facebook I not only can look at my haven't-seen-you-since-high-school's family vacation photos, I can hear about what my cousin is having for lunch. In this context, a Holiday Card with a posed photograph seems expensive and almost wasteful. But I like getting them, and so I send them, as a gesture to people I don't see very often that we have been thinking of them.

We put up decorations in the house. Modest ones, really. Just electric candles in the windows. A tree. And inexplicably a light up Winnie-The-Pooh on a sled the kids really love. As soon as the decorations go up, the kids start to crack. It's too much - the shopping, the boxes arriving in the mail that I refuse to open in front of them, the music everywhere...

And the schools are no help. They drill the holidays into the kids even worse than I do. There are parties and Holiday Concerts, all on different days from each other and different for each child. There are gift swaps, each requiring specific items at different times for different age ranges - Andy needs a wrapped book by Monday and Nate needs a wrapped puzzle by Friday, Nick needs a small gift on Friday, Nate's concert Friday, Andy's Party Monday, Nate's Party Wednesday, Nick needs a bigger gift Thursday, and his party is on that day...

And then I need teacher gifts, which I'll post about later, but involves baking. And the items can go stale, so I can't just make all fifteen of them at once... fifteen because each child has two teachers, but then I added up all piano teachers, gymnastics, karate, etc.

I'm nervous because I'm afraid I'm going to forget someone or not do something and then someone will feel bad. Someone will think I won't love them. Or don't care about something. And I do. I really do. Even though a more logical part of me, a part trying to make itself heard, keeps shouting that my in-laws will have a good time Christmas Eve even if I don't wash the kitchen floor.

The boys must be picking up on my stress. And added to the excitement of Christmas, the music, the decorations, the practicing Good King Wenceslas every single night... is it any wonder that Nathan can't look me in the eye because he can't keep still? And that I have to tell the boys six times to pick out pyjamas only to have Nick try and put Nate in a Time Out for touching his toys?

I wish I could turn Christmas off for a day. I wish there were a way to not do or see or expose my children to it, just for one day...

La la la

It's Christmas Season and I'm busy. Too busy to think of anything to say. What am I doing, you ask?

Well.... surfing, of course.

Christmas Tree Festival

We've been going to this Christmas tree festival for the past few years. More and more of these are popping up. Try as I might, I can never quite explain it to people.

Lucky for me, Lillian took some pictures this year. Here are some of the best shots:


First of all, there are just so many trees.
There is a raffle for each tree, and everything that is on or under it. These trees range from the conservative,
to the absurd.

They do not need to be real trees.
And a few can be really fantastic.
The Wicked Tree

The Bonsai Tree:


Here's a tree grilling:


This guy is stealing a tree:


And look at this! What could land this little guy in the deertention center?


Oh, I see. Poor Gramma!

Christmas Here On The Farm

Never gets old... not really...

Credit Where Credit Is Due

I like to post about things my friends and family do. If I have a friend with a blog, I'll post about it, and add a link. So if anyone I know is in a show, puts out an album, writes a book... well, I usually post about it. As long as I know about it, and the friend or family member responsible has not asked me not to.

My brother has a podcast.

Why haven't I mentioned this before, you ask? Especially when I was Soooooo excited when my cousin's singing went online, and when other people do shows, sing songs, read.... you know. Well... I'll tell you. Just give me a moment...

See... until a few days ago, I hadn't listened to it.

I was nervous. Talk radio makes me nervous. I either find it so boring I fall into a coma as I'm driving the car, or I find it so offensive my head explodes. See, I am a liberal. At least I consider myself a liberal. And many talk radio programs are not liberal. They are decidedly the opposite. And these programs, the ones find the most offensive and irritating and life threatening, these are the programs my brother listens to. And agrees with. Against what I find is common sense and in many cases common decency. Although I do admit, everyone has the right to his or her own opinion, no matter how incorrect or self-serving, which explains most people who live in The Middle, I guess.

Anyway... I hate politics. Which is why I have avoided my own brother's program. Until recently, because, after all, he is My Brother! And even if I don't agree with everything he says, I am so proud of everything he does. So... I listened. Because I love him.

What I'm trying to say is this: you should give this podcast a listen, if you haven't already. Listen to The Specialists - available on iTunes. It's entertaining! I am a convert. Not politically, no... but to this program. These guys are funny and entertaining and this wasn't at all the kind of show I thought I was trying to avoid. I feel almost ridiculous for having put it off. Give it a try, I tell you. What have you got to loose? Go, people, Go!

Just Tired

I can't seem to stay asleep. I'm tired. I kind of lost my voice over Thanksgiving, and it hasn't ever really come back. I thought it was the dry heat, but the humidifier isn't helping. Also, I can fall asleep just fine, but near dawn I wake up in the pitch black, worried and stressed about Holiday things.

It isn't fair, really. I'm spending a lot of time and energy thinking about pumpkin bread instead of enjoying the season. Why can't I relax?

Crazy Bus

This is just an example of how juggling multiple projects from multiple people can make you crazy. Read all the way through, please.

Nick's school lunch program has an online system. This easily happens when schools turn to third party catering companies, those that specialize in schools and nursing homes, for their food needs. We get a printed calendar with the months food choices, so we can decide if we are buying or bringing lunch. And Nick can purchase a milk each day, which he does, for 40 cents.

I can easily go online and put money into an account instead of sending cash with Nick. This is good because neither Nick nor his teacher need be bothered with dealing with the money. But it does have a drawback. First of all, I get charged 30 cents for every ten dollars we put into the account, and then get charged interest by the credit card company because I need to use a credit card.

But there are more drawbacks. This morning I got around to looking through the papers Nick brought home from school yesterday and found a letter saying he owed 50 cents for his school lunches, and then adding a paragraph stating that there is an online system this year, oh negligent parent, and you can actually go online and keep an eye on what he's eating and how much is still in the account!

Only I can't. Because to actually get THIS privilege I would need to pay $10 a year, and I refuse, especially when I'm paying processing fees. I would leave an angry comment about this somewhere, but I can't, because there is no one to leave this to. The website is feedback free.

Anyway, today is waffle day, and Nick was looking forward to it, so I rushed to my laptop to quickly put some money into the account so he could eat lunch. My laptop was charging on the floor in my bedroom, not an ideal location, but I need my humidifier when the heat is on, so the usual outlet is taken.

So while I'm on the floor, trying to type in my credit card number, Nate and Andy come running in, half dressed, to bother me about toys for show and tell (Nate's letter of the week is K, why can't he bring his Krocodile Kite?). Also, Andy's eyes are red for no good reason, and he does not want to go to school. But they see a big cardboard box which used to hold something from Santa, but the contents of which has already been assembled and hidden away. It's empty but for a small load of styrofoam peanuts, which I was saving so that Nick could build the snowman he has to make for homework, but is late turning in to school.

The boys see this box of white stuff, and immediately start shaking it. I am not looking at them, I'm looking at my laptop and my credit card, crouched on the floor. And suddenly the cardboard box with the styrofoam peanuts knocks into my huge oversized coffee mug and coffee flies onto the rug, my running shoes, and my laptop.

I start screaming, thinking about how my laptop is ruined (it's fine), how I need to clean up the spill, how I need to start all over entering the information for Nick's school lunch, and how we should already be putting coats on because Nick is going to miss the bus.

The boys are terrified. Nate still needs a show and tell item that begins with K and is not a kite. Andy still has no shoes on, and steam is coming out of my ears. My morning coffee is seeping into my rug.

That's how MY day is going. Yours?

More R & R

OK, so you know the last post I blogged? Or Blog post I posted? Or.... I dunno, I've been doing this for years, but I still don't know the right terminology... Anyway.... MY LAST POST...

I posted Rachel and The Reindeerz singing Child of Winter. For those of you who didn't recognize her or have never met her, Rachel is my cousin, Rachel. And she obviously rocks.

AND, you can now actually PURCHASE Rachel and The Reindeerz on iTunes! How exciting is that? For me, I mean. And obviously also for Rachel, too.

My point is, everyone should go download this right now. It's less than a dollar, and the song is really good. It's a pop Christmas song, nostalgic and happy and you haven't heard it a billion times yet. But you can, if you buy it RIGHT NOW! So what are you waiting for?

Also, I should probably drink less coffee.

Reindeerz

If you are a member of my family and have not yet watched this video, then do it. The beautiful young lady singing should be very familiar to you.

Coming Clean

I know, I haven't been posting anything "real" or worth a darn over the last few days. I'm sorry. See, the truth is, I'm running around all hectic.

First of all, I'm trying to finish my holiday shopping. And it's difficult. Some people I have covered, but others, you are just difficult people. And you'll know who you are. The same people every year get the same old silly socks and t-shirts and mugs with kitties on them.

I picked up mittens off the giving tree at the library, thinking I could buy a few things for people who needed them. I mean, these are everyday items. Like "Socks" or "Pants" and I feel a little awful because these are items that I might put off buying, but not because I can't afford them. So I figure I'll get them for people who need them, right? Only no, not really, because every single mitten seems to have contradictory information. Like it's for a 7-year old girl who wears a size 14 pant. Maybe she'll grow into them? Or a 13 year old girl who would like a size 9 pant. As though this exists, because I only ever find even sizes, so what do I do then?

And on top of all that, my home is sprinkled with toys. The boys pull everything out, put nothing back, and then act surprised and cry and scream when I insist on them cleaning things up. "Time to clean up!" I say. "Not Fair!" "It was ANDY!" "CLEAN UP, NATHAN!" "WHAAAAAAAA!" I have good reason to just throw it all away and start from scratch. My throat hurts from screaming back.

Anyway, here's another link for Hanukkah. It made me laugh. Enjoy!

Candlelight - The Maccabeats @ Yahoo! Video

Noel

Today we are visiting some pre-decorated Christmas trees.

Then I shall take Nathan to a birthday party.

Then we will begin decorating our little gingerbread houses.

My goal is to keep the humor and the wonder in the month of December. Without eating too many cookies.

8 crazy Nights

Last year I made a big deal of Christmas on this blog. At least I think I did. I remember posting links to songs, books, all sorts of things.

But this year I'm behind on everything. My shopping isn't even half done. I haven't started my holiday cards. And beyond the annual letter to Santa and the holiday-ish background, this blog has been Holiday free.

Did you know Adam Sandler grew up in a city not too far from where I live? Happy Hanukka!

Holiday Panic

Yesterday was the first Library Story Hour of this session. When signing up, I changed our time from Thursday mornings to Wednesday afternoons because I wanted a free morning and over-scheduled Wednesday afternoons. So I was not as familiar with the group of mothers clustered around the children's room tables.

The conversation hovered around holiday shopping. a couple of the women spoke about what they did on Black Friday. They talked about being there in the middle of the night, standing in long lines to get ipods, shopping, finding better prices elsewhere, and returning items to save a few bucks. During the conversation, one woman was doing internet research and finding flyers they could price check and price match with.

I felt like an anthropologist observing a foreign culture. It's not that I am not for saving a few dollars. In fact, Steve thinks I'm downright cheap because I refuse to buy things that I don't think are absolutely necessary. Like new pants. But I don't think twice about spending on organic foods or trips to Disney World, so I know he's wrong. I'll meet you in Orlando. I'll be the one in the burlap sack.

Seriously, though, the conversation made me uncomfortable. I like to think it's because I think Christmas is about more than just things, and that I have risen to a higher state of spritual holiday-ness, but I may be giving myself too much credit. More likely it's because I don't buy the things that these ladies are buying. Our boys are lucky enough to have a lot of relatives and usually get more gifts than is healthy anyway, so the pressure is off. One toy per boy is good. And we are also lucky enough to be able to afford these things without much stress.

But also, I would gladly pay and extra five bucks for an item if it means I will not have to stand in a long line or stay up late for it. Or squeeze in past or with fellow holiday shoppers who are grabby and as stressed as I am.

And then I had last night's dream.

I was driving to the store, and it was early, just when the store opened. It wasn't too crowded, but the shelves were almost empty. There was nothing left! I was too late. And on top of it all, the one thing I was going to get Andy turned out to be the size of our kitchen. It was huge.

So instead of running, I'm going shopping this morning. Running to the store. To buy stuff.

Holiday Words

Nick brought home a class assignment this afternoon that had me rolling on the floor. The title was "Top Ten Holiday Words" and there were lines underneath to write the words on.

Now, quickly, without reading ahead, what are your top ten holiday words?

I'll bet you had something like "lights" or "gifts" or "tree" or "music." Maybe something along those lines? Because, you know, it's the holidays, and these things are floating all around to the point that we need to wave them away to see our own faces.

Well, here's what Nick wrote, along with some sort of translation. Try and picture it with each line of text reaching the edge of the page and the letters trailing downwards and running into each other.

CANDL (Candle - I'm good with this.)
MARE KOREMIS (Merry Christmas)
HAPPE VAENTNSDAY (Happy Valentine's Day)
HAPPE HOUWEN (Happy Halloween)
HAPPE KLUMBES DAY (Happy Columbus Day)
HAPPE LEPRCONS DAY (Happy Leprechaun's Day - The New St. Patrick's Day)
HAPPE THAGKGIVIG

I hope you understand why I think this is funny. It's not the spelling. It's the actual words he chose. In combination with the spelling. Also, Klumbes day beat out Thagkgivig