The Sticky Truth

This post contains some delicate information not everyone may be comfortable with. Specifically, I'm talking about my leg hair.

I have issues with my leg hair. I simply don't know what to do with it. When I shave it off I can still see the dark roots under my skin, and I get stubble within a day. Seriously, I have five o'clock shadow on my legs. So I usually prefer waxing. The trouble with waxing is that you have to wait for the hairs to be long enough. In the summer, this is inconvenient. In the winter, I just let it go until the hairs actually become TOO long and waxing would be too painful so I go back to shaving.

But yesterday I seized a few moments and sat down with my wax strips. I managed to wax one leg with no problems. And then I placed the first wax strip on my other leg... and the wax didn't come up.

See, to wax, you peel away two strips with wax sandwiched int he middle, place one on your leg, and yank it away, and the hairs are supposed to get caught in the wax and get yanked out. But in this case, the wax decided it liked my leg and separated from the strip, leaving me with a hair leg covered in wax.

I tried to lift it off with another strip, like getting gum off of something with more gum, but I just ended up with another layer of wax. And then another. And then, in some fit of denial, I tried waxing the spot next to my new wax clump, and ended up with a second waxy area on my leg.

So now I stopped. I had a leg covered in wax which would not come off.

I walked down the hall to the bathtub, and tried rinsing it off under warm water, but it didn't seem to work. I thought rubbing it might coax it off, but I just ended up with wax all over my fingers.

This is when I decided I needed to take a shower. But I still had on my sweater, and I didn't want to get wax all over it. I had wax on my fingers, remember? I also didn't want to touch my hair. The hair on my head. Because I like hair there. So getting undressed was a funny dance of shrugging, hopping, and flapping.

I ended up in the shower, scrubbing the wax off with generous applications of shampoo. It hurt. A lot. And then I sacrificed a razor blade to the waxy remnants of leg hair I had left.

So my real question is: why do women shave their legs? Who thought this up? My life would be so much simpler if I could just let them go.