The Vomit Diaries

Is there anything more depressing than the sound of a kid throwing up at 3am?

No. Not really. Because you know you have to get up and do damage control. And depending on which kid is sick, this can be considerable.

Of course, last night, the kid in question was Nick.

Nick is older, so you think this would make things easier. But that would be a false assumption. See, Nick is also on the Top Bunk. Which means that, to check on him, I have to climb halfway up a ladder, in my sleep.

At this point I want to apologize for my stories about puke. I know no one likes to hear about it, and I don't, I really do NOT post about every single throwing-up experience that goes on in our home. But it's just that these situations keep bringing out new hilarity that I feel MUST be shared.

As I am perched on the ladder, helping Nick "aim" for his blanket, he can't get down. He is busy throwing up, and I am on the ladder he uses for his descent.

In the end, I'm left with a blanket full of yuck, which I carry to the bathroom, clean up in the toilet, and deposit in a laundry basket. I then return to the bedroom and I'm pleased to note that Nick's PJ's are clean. And his sheets are clean. Which is odd because the room still smells. A lot.

But his brothers are asleep. Yep, Andy is asleep there, across the room, and Nate is down OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND NATE'S COMFORTER YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

Yes, see, Nick started throwing up and just leaned over the side of his bed. Which happens to be two feet from the ceiling. I also had to clean Nathan's comforter, a number of books, and a large splatter area from the rug.

The stench was unbearable. In the end, all of the boys woke up, and then started crying because of the smell. I couldn't blame them. At first I sent Nate to the guest room and thought Nick could then sleep in Nate's bed, which was at least closer to the ground. But the carpet was so soaked and the room was so smelly, I ended up moving all boys to the guest room, which was a gamble because there are some really nice quilts in there, and I don't want them puked or peed on. I had to fold them all and put them all away and put Andy's comforter on top of the boys. And then get Andy his special pillow, and his special book, and his special llama.

Then Nick puked again, and I realized that all three boys would be up all night, and that the younger two were probably going to catch it. Steve (who by this time was also awake) suggested Nate and Andy sleep in our bed, and I could stay with Nick. Which worked fine. I just had to pry Andy out of the guest room bed, as he was crying because he really wanted to sleep with ME. Then I had to carry him, his book, and his llama to our bed, and get him to put his head on the pillow. Then I had to find Nate, who was wandering around the house by this time, probably trying to find a place to sleep that wasn't smelly or crowded.

And then I climbed into the guest bed, where Nick immediately plastered himself against me and breathed in my face for the rest of the night.

Please do not let all of us get sick.