Nurture vs. Nurture

Every day I ask myself if I'm doing the right thing for each of my children. I blame myself for each fault, for each bad trait. He doesn't like school? I did something. He hates new food? I said something. He is lazy and never picks up toys? Obviously I lack parenting skills.

But the I look at me and my brothers and sister. We were raised, pretty much, with the same parents. And yet we are not at all the same.

For example (and here I am going to apologize to my brother for using him as the example) when I was in New York I had the opportunity to see my brother's bedroom. It was a mess. There were glasses and bottles and dirty clothing everywhere. It was the messiest room I had been in in a long time. My bedroom, on the other hand, is usually pretty clean. Sometimes it's dusty, and it does sometimes collect the occasional craft project or tea mug, but in general it's pretty clean and the clutter is contained.

On the other hand, my brother values personal hygiene more than I do. I shower almost every day, but not always, especially if I don't run or if I'm in a hurry. My brother used to shower before tennis class. And wash his hair each time. I wash my hair twice a week. Also, his clothing is usually clean and mine is usually something I have worn at least once previously.

My point is, we are related. We were raised together. So maybe what I say and do right now will not absolutely determine forever what my kids will be like when they grow up.