The comments I got (there were 2, both from non-parents, mind you) seemed to suggest that throwing toys away, or giving them away, would be the way to go. But I think the point, the heart of the issue here was missed.
It's not the kids.
When I ask my kids to clean up, all heck breaks loose. There is yelling because the kid that made the mess isn't doing his share of the cleaning up. Someone might actually be cleaning up more than his share of toys. And that isn't FAIR. At this age, it's all about what's FAIR. I try to explain that me picking up all of the toys isn't FAIR either, especially since I didn't get to play with any of them. But I am an adult, and I know that life is many things. FAIR isn't one of them.
Anyway, I feel badly because I don't help them clean up. I'm not talking about doing the heavy lifting. I'm talking about making sure it's done every single day so the mess doesn't get to be unmanageable. I'm talking about breaking it up for them so that they can see the smaller jobs and don't get swamped. I'm supposed to teach them how to do this, not just yell at them to do it.
I have no problem throwing certain things away. In fact, many items I do throw away. This includes pokemon cards, plastic bits I can't identify, rubber bouncy balls, anything that came in a goody bag, anything broken beyond repair, or anything with a family that has been separated and spread all over the house and used for something other than it's original purpose (Tinker Toys, I'm thinking of all of you.)
But then there are other things.
I find it very difficult to throw away, for example, the stuffed animal that Andrew carries around with him all week. Or the Very Expensive video game that is left on the floor. Or the Fun Toy Aunt Emily gave Nick last Christmas. They never see Aunt Emily, and she took them shopping and picked out this toy especially for him!
And, oh, we have so many special toys.
I find it very difficult to throw things away. I don't like to create waste, and throwing something away is a sure way to make sure it is never used again. Also, I accept the fact that I am placing my own emotional attachments onto items that belong to my children.
So while the High Shelf is an option, and Goodwill a last resort for toys in good condition, I simply will not be able to part with many of my children's toys until they are outgrown. Or broken. This is my issue. I just need to teach my kids to cope with it.
1 comment:
I didn't mean to suggest that you do as my sister did, just that that's how she dealt with it. My mother dealt with it by putting the toy room upstairs where she wouldn't see it. But then went crazy every so often telling us to "Clean it up right now, or else!" As for my nephew, he is neat, but nuts. You'll find your own way.
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