In a Pickle

My mother always said she hated grocery shopping. I never understood why.

I know understand why.

It takes so long. Even though I try and make things easier with lists, I always end up wandering the aisles looking for one last thing (pancake mix! Where can I find pancake mix?) And forgetting either something basic (bread) or that someone specifically asked for (toothpaste.) Then it all costs more than I wanted it to, and then, after I finally get home I have to unload the stuff from the car and put it all away, and it becomes very obvious that I didn't actually need butter after all.

My real problem is pickles.

First of all, the pickles are always stacked differently. Somtimes they are sorted by size and nothing else. Sometimes by brand, sometimes by taste, and sometimes by the way they are cut. Each time, it;s a sure thing that I'll be searching for what it is I want.

Next, who are all these strange people who eat bread and butter pickles? They're just gross. The pickles, not the people. A pickle should be sour, not sweet. I understand that there are a few odd folk out there who might choose the B&B pickle over the dill or "normal" kind, but all of the places I've been easily lets the Bread and Butter pickle jars take up more than half the pickle shelf space. It's SO irritating. I end up scanning the shelves for dill pickles, or anything with a little zing. I prefer anything called "zesty."

As if that's not enough, the pickles are all cut up differently. We eat pickles on sandwiches and burgers, and so we prefer pickles cut flat. I like the round ones, like the ones they have on fast food burgers, not the ones cut lengthwise, which I end up having to cut up and sometimes are seedy.

They don't HAVE the pickles I like cut this way. So I either have to step down a notch and get something called "hamberger dill" which I don't love because I don't want them telling me what the pickles are for, or I have to get them cut lengthwise. Or in spears, which is just not useful at all.

Next I need to find the right size jar. They have these huge jars of pickles, but these are usually whole pickles. The boys LOVE looking at these things. In fact, Nathan once asked for a jar of huge whole pickles for his birthday. But they are not very practical for everyday use. I am always unable to find a large jar of the kind I like. Oh, they have bread and butter pickles cut flat in large jars. I imagine huge families with no taste buds huddling around a kitchen table and eating pickles... or ending up hating pickles because they don't realize that this is NOT the way real pickles are supposed to taste.

So I end up getting a small jar of pickles that we settle for instead of a large jar of pickles that we like.

I've just spent 10 minutes choosing a jar of pickles. Now I have to do the rest of my shopping and get the other 46 things on my list.