Sat. Saga: Pants, Keys, Traffic OR The Apple Never Falls...

I have this thing about clothes shopping. I hate it.

I hate everything about it. I hate the idea of going to a place and trying to fing clothing I like. I hate the fact that, once found, the clothing probably will not fit me right, or perhaps it would, if it were actually in my size. I hate that I then have to shell out a ridiculous amount of money for each item of clothing, none of which was made responsibly or in this country, supporting what I feel to be the irresponsible business practices of monster corporations.

All for a pair of pants that will probably be stained with olive oil by the end of the week.

But sometimes, I give in.

I really, really like the store Athleta. This store is part of the GAP empire. But it focuses on activewear, and right now I'm really into that, particularly the kind that will let me look cute. The thing is, until recently, Athleta has been exclusively catalog and internet. It didn't have any actual physical stores.

And then recently, it opened up a few. Including one in Massachusetts. I really really wanted to visit this store, just to see what it was like, to try on some of the clothes I kept seeing, just to know what they would look like on me.

So I asked Steve, very nicely, if he would watch the boys one Saturday while I drove down and checked it out.

Well, Steve had planned to go to the boat on Friday, and spend the night. But he had an idea: the boys love the boat! Why don't I drive down with the boys Saturday morning, and then drop them off. I can then drive back, stop off at the store (which was down there anyway) and have the day to myself.

It sounded like a good idea, even if it was a bit more driving than I had planned on, as the mall I was going to was not exactly at the marina.

So Friday Steve headed out, and I was alone with the kids.

I slept very poorly Friday. I mention this only to give you some idea of my state of mind, a framework for what followed, sleep deprived glasses to put on so that you can see the day unfold the way I did.

At 8:30 AM we pulled out of the driveway, after packing lunch for the boys on the boat, getting all three boys to put on shoes, and one very immature temper tantrum about bringing a DS in the car. (I was calm, and the DS stayed home.)

There was a bit of traffic. I got lost on the way to the marina - I can never remember which exit, and also, once I get off all the turns tend to look the same to me. Some guy ran a stop sign while I was stopped for someone else cutting into the flow of traffic going the other way, and he made me so mad I actually beeped my horn at him. He smiled sarcastically and waved, and I actually flipped him off and yelled profanity out the window WITH MY KIDS IN THE CAR. But finally I calmed down. I found myself, and we were finally there.

And so were a hundred other people. Because the Marina was doing a Show that day, something with booths and tables and chairs and a microphone.

As soon as I got into the parking lot someone told me that only boat owners could park there - I had to explain that I was, in fact, a boat owner, but that I was never myself AT the marina. And that I was looking forward to leaving as soon as I could swap cars with my husband.

Steve showed up to claim the boys, and I smiled and said Great! and held my hands out for his car key... and Steve looked shocked. Oh. The car key. Oh no. It's on the boat. To get it, I'll need to come with them on the launch, and then ride it back.

So we all piled into the launch, which takes a few minutes - for the guy to show up, and then to get out there. Steve walked over and got his key, handed it to me (still on the launch) and waved good-bye. The driver picked up a few people from their boats, and drove us back to the chaos of the marina.

I got into Steve's car, which I should mention here, is not my favorite vehicle to drive, being lower than the minivan, generally dirtier, with none of my stations pre-programmed in. Also, it shudders when you drive about forty miles an hour for some strange reason.

After 20 minutes of driving around, managed to find the highway. I was kind of excited, planning my day in my head. After this store, I might head up to the mall in NH (there is no tax in NH) and get some bras, some shoes, maybe a pair of jeans...

I skipped into the mall and made the ladies room my first stop. Then I reached into my pocket and felt my keys.

MY keys.

Not Steve's keys.

Crap. I never gave Steve the keys to my car.

I was really hopeful that maybe the day could be saved. Maybe he had the other car key with him for some strange reason?  I reached for my phone, but it was in Steve's car. So I ran outside to his car, which was parked at the far end of the parking lot.

There was a message from Steve.

It said I still had the car keys.

I called Steve.

Steve was surprised it had taken me that long to get to the mall. "We were actually packing up to go home," he said.

It wasn't even eleven AM.

I dashed to Athleta, determined to take a look around, but my calm, browsy feeling was gone. Instead, I was frantic. "the boys are waiting for me. They are sitting there, waiting for me. The longer I take here, the longer they will be waiting."

I did manage to try on a few things, but was grumpy about it because I'm short, and even the XXS yoga pants brushed the floor. Which is ridiculous! I'm not THAT short. And they didn't come in petite. And even if I could have gotten away with the length, the tighter size did nothing for my assets.

So I got back into the car and drove back east, back toward the marina. There was traffic. I got lost again. I found the marina again. Steve and the boys met me at the end of the street so I didn't even have to deal with the gate or getting in. Then I headed back up to NH.

By the time I got to NH the traffic was crazy. It was 1pm. I found out the Ann Taylor had closed. I tried on some jeans at J.Jill, but they were $90, and I just couldn't. I told myself I would go to Goodwill. But I didn't have the courage to drive up 3 extra exits on the highway, and fight the traffic on that road because they've been replacing pipes there for months and the traffic is always horrible.

So I just went home.

And I had a cup of tea.

And took a nap.

Then had more tea.

Which brings me to right now.