At Our Wits End

I was in the car with Andy and Nick, and we were discussing the upcoming holiday. The one that's right around the corner. You know. Christmas.

You were going to say something else, right? Veteran's Day, probably. Or Columbus Day. Possibly Halloween. There are dozens of special days before Christmas, but we were talking about Christmas because I had just done what I promised myself I would never, ever, ever do. I asked Nick and Nate to pick out their Christmas present in September. Because there was a sale. And then I told them they wouldn't be getting them until Christmas.

In the car I told them it was too good a sale to pass up. And I brought up the fact that I always give them practical gifts. Which I do. They get fun presents from each other, and Santa is always extra generous with his gifts, but I always manage to give the boys new lunch boxes or bathrobes. Things like that.

And Nick has been asking for a belt rack. For karate belts, people. To display his karate achievements, not as some sudden OCD need to organize his everyday clothing accessories. Sheesh. He doesn't even close his drawers and when he pulls one thing out everything on top comes flying out onto the floor and he DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE. He's SO talking about karate gear. I'm not that lame.

Anyway, Andy started whining because he wanted something, too, and I explained that he didn't want a karate display belt rack (we'll be specific) and he only had two belts anyway (white and purple), so I would get him some other practical thing.

"What do you want, anyway?" I asked.

I was fishing. No pun intended. Because yesterday he had come right out and asked for a goldfish, and I am trying to gauge the seriousness  / sustainability of that wish. I guess it's low maintenance, but... something else to clean and care for? And then when it dies? Argh! But if he really wants one, it isn't expensive, right? I mean, a small one?

Anyway, Andy mentioned the fish, and Nick immediately started talking about how you had to be careful when you fed it. "Because Greg had one, and his sister was a baby and dumped the food in there, and the fish was like, Poof!"

I kind of tuned out and started thinking about the reality of owning a goldfish. And suddenly I realized Nick was teasing Andy about overfeeding his goldfish, and Andy was angry, almost in tears. "Nick!" he cried. "Don't even think about doing that to my goldfish!"

"Andy!" I said. "You don't even have a goldfish!"

My kids, I swear, they can fight about anything.