I Guess That's Why They Call It...

Having a hard time. No particular reason. I've just been down a bit lately. I'm sure the last few days being cloudy has nothing to do with it. I'm sure the drop in the temperature is coincidence. It probably has nothing to do with my cat, or with my over-indulging on pie and halloween candy, or having stopped running for a whole week.

It's just that it's all of those things put together.

Along with not measuring up to my own expectations of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I can't write. I can't sing. I can't finish any project I start. My house is a mess. I cant catch up on laundry. My kids are wild and crazy, and it is probably my fault because I spoil them and I'm also cold and unattentive. I give them too many sweets and make them meals that are so healthy no one wants to eat them. I let them watch too much TV. I don't read to them enough.

I spend all of my time complaining! Which is why I need to go back to bed. Right now. I'm going to stay there until I'm in a better mood. Even if it means pulling the covers over my head for a week!

Someone better tell the kids.

Fail

I just wrote a post to go along with a video of the boys I took playing "The 99" where Nick was a waiter at the 99, and he was taking orders from a kid's menu we had cluttering up the kitchen.

Only the video turned out to be more than 3 times too large to be uploaded.

It's too bad, really. I had another video of Puck trying to open a cabinet door - the cabinet I now keep the cat food in.

It's frustrating. It means I have to take very quick videos. And I'm not so good at them, anyway.

11/11/11

Make a wish! It's November 11, 2011.

Or 11-11-11.

At 11-11 we all should pause and think happy thoughts.

Never Say Never

My friend Miranda recently had to put her cat down.

It was a very difficult decision for her, I know, and an emotional one for me also. Miranda got her kitty the same day I got Puck, from the same pet store, and for the first year we raised them together, in the same third floor apartment.

But her kitty had many many health issues. I'm not sure what they all were, but there was always something. The cat had problems with his kidney disease and his thyroid. I remembered thinking about how much Miranda was doing for her cat, the time and the expense, and I told myself I would never be able to do anything like that. I mean, who gives their cats injections? You'd have to be a little crazy. It's a cat.

Ahem.

So, recently Puck has started acting like a lunatic. I'm not sure when it started, exactly, but one day Steve commented on how Puck was always on the counter, always knocking things to the floor, always underfoot or sticking his head into used dishes. Puck has never been a very agressive cat, and even though he would do all of these things on occasion, he was now doing them ALL THE TIME, and not even trying to be sneaky about it anymore. When I was cooking I couldn't measure yogurt or milk out ahead of time. I couldn't place butter on the counter. I couldn't put the meat out and then rush to the bathroom while the pan heated. Puck would be there when I turned around, nibbling or licking or sniffing as if he was just about to. When I shooed him away, he didn't run out of the room, he'd scamper around under my feet, trying to kill me.

Death by cat.

He was also looking funny. He wasn't the fat puffy thing he used to be. His coat was scraggly. It was uneven because in August I cut clumps of matted fur off and it just never grew back. He started collecting ticks, despite the frontline I administered each month, and the sores he got from scratching around his neck never healed. He had sores on his tail covered by matted fur. His bones were sticking through his skin - something you had to pet him to feel, due to his long fur. He also had permanent pink around his ears from repeatedly sticking his head into empty jars of pasta sauce.

So I took him to the vet.

They ran tests.

I took him back to the vet.

They did some more tests.

And then the vet confirmed it.

Puck is diabetic.

Diabetes in cats is treated with insulin injections twice a day. Very very tiny amounts on insulin. Administered with a very very shard needle. By me. And you have to be careful, because if you don't give enough, then the job isn't getting done and the cat will keep getting sick and eventually die. But if you give too much the cat will go into insulin shock, he'll DIE. The vet actually told me what to do if the cat seems drunk - Karo syrup. If he's unconscious, I get to rub it on his gums.

Aside from the injections, Puck is still on thyroid meds. He also gets a new diet of perscription (expensive) cat food. The vet recommends wet food. Which smells. Frank loves the wet food. Unfortunately, the food isn't for him. I'm probably going to have to start him on wet food, too, just to even things out.

All in all, this is presently causing a lot of upheaval. I'm putting a lot of energy into caring for my pets right now. More than I want to. And I know things will get easier, and this may even become second nature, but still. Ugh.

I know I rolled my eyes when people would talk about doing these things for their pets. I still do, even though I'm one of them (the people, not the pets). It's just crazy to do these things, to take these measures, to spend this much time and effort and money and stress on a pet! It's just... better than the alternative. Right? My Lord, we must all be insane.

One Step Forward...

We've needed a new deck for so long.

But it really was just one item on a very long To Do list. Still on that list is: fix that hole in the wall in the front hall, attach doorstop so the door knob will not re-create the hole. Fix the random hole in the drywall in the pantry. Scrape off peeling wall paper in master bathroom. Paint master bathroom.

Some things you learn to live with, like small holes in the drywall behind doors or peeling walpaper in rooms no one ever sees but you. Some things you find you can not live with, like holes in the steps to your deck.

When you finally get around to doing something about it, it's SO GOOD! WHY did we WAIT SO LONG? You ask yourselves. For a moment, just a tiny moment, you let yourself enjoy the new, fixed-up project, without noticing the little things you need to do to really make the new project finished, like fixing the wood floor where the wall used to be, or painting the living room, and the hall, and the kitchen.

It's a good thing you enjoyed that little moment, too. Because in the next 48 hours your garage door will stop working. Both the cabinet door and the vanity drawer in the kids' bathroom will break. The mailman will stop by to remind you about the mailbox and to notify you that mail delivery will be suspended until it's fixed. He had to knock because your doorbell is broken. You can't deal with any of it because you are arranging to take you cat to the vet for the third time so they can confirm that he has diabetes and will need insulin shots twice a day. Also, you forgot to wash the kids karate uniforms, again, and they still have the chocolate milk stains from three weeks ago.

Now you can't even remember what the work you had done WAS, and there's still plaster dust under the wall heater.

Mourning 36

Go Vote, then you can come back and read this. GO! Even YOU, MOM!

This is the first year that I honestly lost track of how old I was. Was I 37 already? About to turn 38? No way! Was I? Or maybe... I couldn't still be 35, could I? Wait...

I'd have to do Actual Math and count the years from 1974 to figure out the actual number. And once I figured it out, I might forget it the next day.

My birthday is really just the near-end of the group of celebrations that begin the larger group of celebrations spanning the end-of-the-year (Columbus day, Halloween, Election Day, Nov. 6th Birthdays, My Birthday, and Veteran's Day is the small group. Then Thanksgiving, Andy's Birthday, Christmas, and New Year's and the middle, and they count more because there are many time more celebrations for these things. Then the first Birthdays - Dad's, Nate's, and Anne-E's, which are ironically the last of the group.)

I was going to get all sentimental and talk about doing things, marking time, and maybe vow to start working at the soup kitchen (why haven't I started working there, already?) but honestly, I have a lot of things to do before Kindergarten is over for the morning.

Please enjoy the candles below. They aren't birthday candles, but were used during our power outage, and I loved the way they melted. (So did the boys - they played with them during the day, and globs of brittle candle wax is now sprinkled all over the house. ) It's funny - the power outages are so frustrating and stress-inducing, and yet if you can pause and realize some of the beauty in it, you've actually gained something.

Stop rolling your eyes! It's my birthday!

Make Up!

I drew a moustache on Nathan for Trick-or-Treating.

Well, actually, I drew the moustache on him for the Karate Halloween event. On Halloween, Nathan was in a hurry and drew the moustache on himself. It looked kind of cool - not as round and twirly, but like Wario or Waluigi. Bad-guy-ish.

Trick or Treating in our town was last night, and despite the fact that we had already gone at Lillian's, we had used the second go at candy accumulation to help keep the boys from self-destruction during the power outage. Once the day came, we didn't see any other way out except to take them, even though I was so tired of Halloween and dressing up I could have screamed.

But what I want to talk about came before then. See, having used my one eyeliner to create a number of moustaches, I decided I deserved a new eyeliner. Actually, I deserved two, one in my traditional grey color, and another one that was purple - I know, I know, who do I think I am, some 23-year-old-clubber? But it made me happy.

Unfortunately, I left these eyeliners in plain sight next to the sink in my bathroom. We were going to a party at a friend's house that afternoon, and the boys were excited, running around like little lunatics, so I shooed them upstairs so that I could actually fold some laundry, load the dishwasher, sort through the clutter on the kitchen counter - what IS this stuff and how does it get here?

Twenty minutes before we are about to leave, Nathan bursts into the kitchen looking like this:

We had to have a conversation about make-up, Mommy's make-up, how it's ridiculously expensive, how we don't meddle, and how we don't write all over our faces before going to a party. Unless it's that kind of party.

This party was a 40th birthday party with some friends I have known since college. Someone happened to bring some photos of us dressed up for shows, dancing around our first new apartment, and dressing up for parties disguised as doormice. Including one famous picture of three of us sitting in large sinks with odd white clown-ish make-up on our faces.

Of course I let Nathan wear the make-up to the party.

Promises, Promises

I keep getting marvelous ides for posts, but then when I finally have the chance to sit down and write them, my mind is a blank.

And I have a lot to do this morning. I have to fold the laundry sitting on my dining room table. Then I have to put it away. I have to make the kids waffles and get them dressed for church. I have to wrap a couple of gifts. I have to get together the stuff for the homeless shelter (diapers and peanut butter and mac n' cheese) I have to shower and find something to wear that is clean, not torn, and not completely ridiculous looking.

What I WANT to do is sit here and write a little bit - I signed up for this thing where you're supposed to write 175 pages before the end of November. Which, when I think about it, is more like a huge joke because that is a LOT of pages, and I just don't know if I have that much to say, so even if I really really tried it won't happen (right now I'm at 2.5).

So... I'm promising a better post tomorrow. One with pictures and substance.

Catching Up

The Lights Are On!

I still haven't caught up completely. I still need to sor through the pile of papers that is half bills I haven't paid and half papers I need to file and bills I HAVE paid but couldn't reach the file cabinet because the file cabinet was blocked off during the work being done...

I still have to fold laundry and put it away, but that's kind of normal. There is always laundry hanging around in various stages because it's impossible for me to finish it every day.

And I still need a new mailbox.

But yesterday I washed a bunch of clothes, made zucchini bread and squash soup, and put all of our kitchen appliances back in their correct places.

The weekend is, as usual, crammed with things to do. I like it that way.

It's Electric!

Our power came back at 3:30 this morning. Suddenly every single light in our home was ON, so we had to get up and shut everything off so we could get back to sleep.

I am happy to have power. I am already washing my second load of laundry, and have begun stacking things in the dishwasher. I'm going to be very busy today catching up on all of the things I have been putting off - calling the vet, cooking bread and soup before these veggies rot, grocery shopping to refill the fridge, paying the bills -

- AGH! I forgot to pay the bills! I'm not sure why I didn't feel I was able to do this. We had an internet connection. I think I was just feeling discouraged and resentful. And what were they going to do, turn off our power?

Update

Day 6 of power outage: AGHHHHHHHH!

This is starting to get a little bit ridiculous.

I hate this.

I'm angry about why this is happening. In my brain I just had a little conversation with myself about why the colonists would choose to move to a place where storms were constantly interrupting their way of life. And then I realized that their way of life would only have been interrupted for the duration of the storm, because they didn't have Facebook, Xfinity, or Grey's Anatomy. They also didn't have lit homes, whole house heating, water pumps, or child care.

But I still hold the power companies a little to blame. Not for the snow. Not even for the outages, really. But for the length of time it takes to recover. Why can't there be a solution other than waiting it out for a week? And people, if you're going to get all city snooty on me and say that's what happens when you live in the boonies, remember that I had to unplug my coffee maker to plug in the toaster had make my breakfast, and that I am just a little irritable right now.

Besides, there are about 4000 (families) of us living here in my town alone still without power. 4000 is too much for "the boonies." In fact, it's a large and angry mob.

I'm sorry, I'm in a really bad mood today. Please send warm thoughts and exotic caramels. (shoot, I just remembered the snow plow took out our mailbox. AGH!)

The Story

Well, it snowed. We lost power. That was... Saturday, and into Sunday.

It's Tuesday evening as I write this.

There was no school Monday, which was officially Halloween. Our town cancelled school that day, and then postponed trick-or-treating until November 6th. We drove down to Lillian's where they DID have trick-or-treating.

School was cancelled today. I took the kids to the Museum of Science. They did have Karate and Piano lessons.

But they have already sent an email out letting us know there is no school tomorrow.

It's just November, people. Three snow days, and not even Thanksgiving.

And we still have no power. Yes, we have the generator, so we have heat and running water. Hot water, at that. But it would be nice to have lights in the bathroom. It would be nice to cook a meal on the stove or in the oven. The laundry is piling up, even with that load I did at Lillian's.

I should be used to this by now, I think. But I'm not. I'm just resigned to it.

November!

The good thing about the weather getting colder is that I'm forced to finish swapping out the summer clothes to winter.

And you know what that means, right? Red Feetie Pajamas!

Trick or Treat?

Snow

It snowed last night.

It's early for snow. The leaves were still on the trees. They hold more snow than naked braches. Add a few strong gusts of wind, and the branches have no chance.

Our power went out at about 8pm last night. Currently almost 200,000 PSNH customers are without power in Southern NH. This means we will probably be without power for today and most of tomorrow, as we are not in a city or near a hospital. Church was cancelled. Last night a huge crack woke me up, and I don't know if it was from the branch breaking off in the front of the house, a branch breaking off in the back of the house, or something completely different.

We're going exploring soon. In the yard. I figure it will be goo practice since we'll be trick-or-treating tomorrow in snowpants and boots.

I took these pictures this morning. On is of the neighbor's yard, which we don't usually see because the bushes usually screen it from us. The snow has weighted them down, though, letting us see what we usually don't.

The other picture is from our new deck. There is a snow covered bush-type thing, but I don't think we have a bush there. I'm not sure if it's a branch that's fallen, or one just weighted down with snow.

Halloween Preview

Remember when Halloween was just a really fun night of costumes and trick-or-treating?

Well, now that going door-to door is considered dangerous and risky, everyone in the world is trying to come up with an "alternative" to it. I swear, people are trying to abolish the practice. Not that we stop trick-or-treating. Oh, no! Instead, we also have to go to 97 other events in the last week of October, all involving costumes, all proclaiming to be a "fun and safe alternative," and all of them really fun.

But the boys may as well dress up in their costumes all week long.

First there was the Town Harvest Festival last week. Then the party during Library Story Hour. We skipped the huge party the Lion's Club threw at the school on Wednesday. Yesterday Nick had his school Party. Today is the Karate dress-up day. Monday is actually Halloween, and Andy and Nate will have their Halloween parties, and after school we will drive down to Lillian so we can trick-or-treat in a neighborhood where people actually trick-or-treat, and the houses are much closer together.

Here's everyone but Nick, because I just wasn't able to grab him in his costume.

A Night In

It's just past 8pm. It is cold in this house, and I am already in my pajamas, snuggled under the covers with my computer and a random Vosges Chocolate catalogue I got a couple of weeks ago (I don't know why) and refuse to throw out because I like looking at the pictures and pretending I'm going to eat the chocolates.

It's snowing outside. Which doesn't make me happy. I'm procrastinating making tomorrow's shopping list. I don't want to go grocery shopping. I don't want to get up and run tomorrow. I don't even want to get out of bed to get my planner, which I need to do before making my weekly menu. I don't want to think about food and cooking at all, actually. I just want to sit here with my warm duvet and my exotic caramels.

The Cold She Comes

A few days ago I woke and looked outside my window to find the lawn crusty with white. No, it wasn't snow. It was the Frost. It had come, bringing winter with it.

And overnight, literally, the house went from dusty-but-comfortable to chilled-to-the-bone.

"Steve!" I yelled down the stairs. "I'm turning on the heat!"

"Put on a sweater!" he shouted back up at me.

And he's got a point. Once you turn the heat on, there is no turning back. And heat has simply gotten more and more expensive. We're paying four dollars a gallon for oil which is delivered every few weeks in the winter, and it costs over $400 a pop. Sometimes, when it's really cold, I've paid as mich as $700.

Our electricity goes up, too, of course.

I put on a sweater. I also went around the house making sure the storm windows were down, and in rooms we use often turning the heat up to as high as 60 degrees. Which is still pretty cold, when you think about it. But we like to be responsible and thoughtful about these things, at least until we can't stand it anymore sometime in December or January.

Today it is raining. It is currently 43 degrees, and will get as warm as 46. Tonight will be a low of 29 degrees, with a forecast of rain and snow. I need to get into the garage and move the bikes aside so I can pull in my car.

Hello, Winter. We didn't miss you a bit.

First Few Shots

Here are three of the first few photos taken with the new camera. It's just a point and shoot, but it can capture a moment, and all sorts of little-boy antics.

New Camera!

I got a new camera!

It's an Elph. I don't know what that means interms of quality, actually. All I know is that it was less expensive than my last camera, which had 300 different settings to take photographs with, of which I used exactly three. It is also less than half the size of my last camera, more the size of a smart phone. I won't get it confused with my cell phone, though, because it is also RED! I don't know why this makes me giggle, but it does.

And I haven't taken a lot of pictures with it yet (give me a break, I got it last night as the kids were already to bed!) but today I'm bringing it with me everywhere. And maybe I'll even remember to use it.