I think that most years I keep a good head on my shoulders until mid to late February. That's when I start to go a little bonkers, get a little stir crazy, and I start feeling lonely and stranded and cold and dark and I hate the world because it's cold and overcast and the snow and ice are surrounding me and they are never ever going to melt and spring divorced me no one loves me and we are never going to be warm or sunny ever ever again.
The recent post of the photos of my deck? Remember that one? My brother Jamie commented that we had a lot of snow and that it wasn't even February.
February has come early, folks. And with it that cascade of self-pity and endless white of overcast sky meets snowy ground. Really, they are one and the same.
I think it's cabin fever. A need to get out and do something. I feel the need to connect and get out and buy bathing suits and plan vacations I will probably never take. May those that take them enjoy them. I will sit here and smile and pretend to be happy for you. And you can pretend I'm not jealous or feeling left out. And then we'll all drink some more wine, and life will go on.
That's the magic of it all, right? Life goes on. I have faith that, eventually, spring will come, and my tulips will break ground. I can restart my compost and plant some tomatoes. And in the long run it won't matter, will it? Because the snow will melt and it will all be forgotten. In theory.
3 comments:
Sending you lots of love from the cold, but not quite as cold, NYC. Plan a trip for yourself! I can babysit for a long weekend and will be happy to do so. You gotta give yourself a break!
I'll come up & cook for Jamie & the boys, if he drives!!
I'll come take you somewhere for margaritas and tight jeans! we'll go to some honky tonk karaoke bar and hustle pool!
love you!
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