Insane Moments

Every so often I catch myself in moments so absurd, I can't even stand thinking about them. Not all of these involve my children directly, although many of them include convoluted conversation topic and me asking children to do things I never, ever thought I would have to ask anyone to do. Such as "Please do not step on your brother's face," or "Please do not put your stuffed animals in the microwave / fridge / oven / toilet."

Today I had one of these moments.

Things were going so smoothly. Nick and Nate made the bus with very little waiting. I had time to put a load of laundry in the washer before leaving the house to take Andrew to school, and I had remembered to bring a book with me, so I could go right to the dentist's office to have my tooth drilled and filled.

As I dropped Andrew off at his classroom, smiling and explaining how he got the huge scratch right under his eye (Nathan ran into him, fingernail first), I saw another parent walk in with a tray of cookies. It was then I remembered that today was December Birthday Day! The day they celebrate all December birthdays in the class. Andrew has a December birthday. And as his parent, I was asked to bring in sliced strawberries.

The request was specific. They sent home a note asking for sliced strawberries, specifically. Enough for 15 children. I had no problem with this. I took the note home and placed it on my fridge. I remembered about it on Friday, when I was at the grocery store, but I didn't want the strawberries to sit around for days and get all yucky - fruit goes bad around here pretty quickly. And then I forgot about it.

Again, this is the moment where a person needs to make a decision. Especially if they have 30 minutes to a dentist appointment. Most people, normal, sane people, would probably just have apologized and moved on with their day. But I am nor normal or sane. "I CAN DO THIS!"

I rushed out the door and to the nearest grocery store. I parked the car and ran in, not even bothering to take my glasses off. I grabbed three containers of strawberries, a kitchen utility knife, a large bottle of water, and a large tupperware bin. I scanned the items myself and stormed out to the car.

I opened the sliding side door and used some of the water to rinse the tupperware. I opened the knife and the strawberries and rinsed them. Then I used the top of the tupperware as a cutting board and sliced two of the three containers of strawberries. In the parking lot of the grocery store. Half in and half out of my car. THIS was my moment. It was unique. I must have looked certifiable.

I made it, though. I dropped the strawberries off and then rushed back to the dentist, which is actually right near the grocery store. It took less than 30 minutes for the dentist to fix my cavity.

The end.