So Waspy

Our screened porch was getting to be overrun with wasps.

I couldn't figure it out. I looked all over the place for the nest, to see where they were coming from, but nothing. They were also outside the porch, buzzing all over the house. I figured they probably had a nest on the roof, between the shingles. Or maybe behind the shutters? There were just so many of them, and I couldn't really figure out how they were getting into the porch.

When Larry was here he tried to stopper up the entry point with a rang and some paper towels. It seemed to work for a couple of days, but then they were back. I bought wasp spray, but without a nest it was just like spreading poison into the air.

And it was kind of annoying because this was such a great time of year to spend on the porch! And we were missing it. Because who can relax when screened in with eleven frustrated wasps?

And then, one day, Andy came running up to me. "I found the nest!" he said. "Come with me!" and he led the way outside, down the porch steps, toward the swing... and pointed up.

Can you see it? No? How about this?

There. I zoomed in. Is that better? Still no? OK, I'll just...

There. I know you can see it now. But just in case, here's a different angle.

Yup. it was up in the tree.

So I waited until just before nightfall, just as the instructions on the wasp spray say, and then went out to the tree, pointed it at the nest, and hit the spray button.

Only to have a huge cloud of poison spray go halfway up before gravity set it and pulled it all back down on top of me. Think spitting into the wind... if one spat vast amounts of poison.

So then I changed tactics. I went to my bedroom and climbed out onto the porch roof. "Never, Never, Never do this!" I kept saying, as Andy watched me, wide-eyed from the safety of my bedroom.

I crept out to the almost-edge of the porch. It's a pretty flat roof, so I was stable, but suddenly the grass and the swing seemed very, very far away. I realize that I have a fear of heights which I usually keep in check by staying on the ground. But these were extraordinary circumstances. I just didn't want to hit it enough to anger the wasps, but then not disarm them enough to follow the invading poison back to me, attack me, and cause me to plummet to the hard earth.

I inched my way out as far as I dared, pointed the spray bottle at the next, and hit the button.

The spray was pretty direct. It went right toward the nest until it was about eighteen inches away, and then gravity did it's dirty work and the spray curved downward, again soaking the same spot I had hit before.

Meanwhile, the wasps circled their next making "nyah nyah" buzzing sounds.

I was so frustrated, and had now wasted four spray bottles (counting the ones I sprayed in the porch pre-next discovery) and hours of my time trying to get these suckers.

Well, a few days later we had a lot of wind and some rain. Go back to that photo of the tree. See all those lovely yellow leaves? Gone. The tree is now naked.

The thing about leaves is, they protect everything that lives IN the tree. Including the nests that wasps live in.  It took two days for half the next to get ripped off.

And then the following week we had the first frost.

I kind of regret the time I wasted hunting them down.