Monday, January 26, 2015

Call Me Maybe

I got a new phone.

This new phone replaces my iPhone3, which was an extra one Steve somehow had.
That replaced the other iPhone3 which I had dropped on the driveway and shattered - that one was also a hand-me-down from Steve.
That first iPhone3 replaced another phone - not a smart phone - that I left in the outside mesh pocket of a diaper bag during a heavy rainstorm at Santa's Village.
Before that I had my other cell phone, my first cell phone, purchase in 1999 at the mall. It was a flip phone and I thought it was the coolest thing...

Anyway... this is the first phone I'd purchased since then.

It isn't new, it's used, an iPhone 5. I like that it's used because not only is it less expensive but it makes me feel good to know I'm prolonging the life of a still useful item. People tend to go through cell phones like kleenex these days.

I love it. It's so fast and does so man things my old phone couldn't do. It doesn't just decide to shut down, like my old phone, or quit making sounds, like my old phone.

It's funny how attached I am to it. I think a lot about how technology grows and has morphed into our society. I just don't know the rules anymore.

Nick says he's one of the only 10 year olds who don't have a cell phone.

I'm not inclined to believe him, but I wonder... I want to think that I know what's right for my kids, regardless of what the masses are doing. On the other hand, if he is being denied something that everyone does have or do, then is it really a benefit?

I'm not getting him a cell phone. Not anytime soon. Not until he stops forgetting his completed homework at home or his agenda at school. But at some point, sooner than I'd like, I'm going to have to get him a cell phone. And my life will never be the same....

Maybe when he starts driving...

Saturday, January 24, 2015

High Lights of the Week

I tried to think of a catchy phrase for this type of post, and that's the best I could come up with.

So, I tend to get a little down. I sometimes let the season's cold and grey weather get to me. And with the stress of working and trying to be a good parent, I tend to fall into a horrible cycle of self-criticism and too many cookies.

But a lot of great things happen, too. And this is where I'm going to post them. In a weekly recap.

 - A little girl in the church's children's choir gave me an unsolicited hug for no reason, and for a moment I remembered back when I didn't have my own children and could connect with them in a different way because I wasn't someone's mommy.

 - A friend of mine volunteered to watch my kids on Martin Luther King Day. And she told me my kids were awesome. And they are.

 - My bed is so comfortable. And my sheets are so flannel. And they are so clean.

 - I caught Andy singing the Pirate Jenny song from Three Penny Opera. I mean, how awesome is that? Then we all had an in depth conversation about Mac The Knife, and how he might be different from Jack The Ripper

Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Year Of Throwing Things Away

As part of my whole Green phase, I started keeping things.

Wait - backtrack....  it wasn't a phase. When I became more ecologically aware, it was opening my mind to a reality. It was learning something, not a behavior, but a truth. You can't unlearn a truth. Only behaviors.

So... as part of my whole Green... awareness... I started keeping things.

I was keeping things because I felt they could be reused or re-purposed. I was keeping things because I felt consumerism is helping change the environment in negative and harmful ways.

But in order to re-purpose something, in order to re-use items, one has to be crafty. One has to have time. One has to have the ideas and the know how to do so.

Let me find an example.

I kept syrup bottles so I could fill them with homemade oils and vinegars.

I kept socks with holes in them so I could make a quilt or re-purposed socks.

I kept cracked mugs so I could use them as decorative planters.

None of these projects ever got finished. Or started. But I still have the socks.

I kept everything. Bits of paper to wrap gifts in. Old clothing to quilt with. Ribbons to wrap gifts or decorate or craft with... never mind that I no longer have the time to breathe, let alone craft, plant, make infused oils, etc.

I kept all my baby stuff in case someone I knew had a sudden need for a used crib, or a stroller, or a tiny inflatable pool.

I'm clearing things out this year. This year I am giving myself a break and throwing things away. Clothing I don't wear, shoes that hurt, fabric I won't use...

Almost all the things. I'm keeping the holy socks. Because... holy socks.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Bury The Lead

So, Steve is seeing someone.

People I've told have asked me how I feel about it. I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to feel, but the way they ask always makes me think they're fishing to see if I'm jealous. I am not at all jealous, and that is the truth. I'm actually happy for Steve and glad he's found someone to spend times with, and as far as he goes I couldn't care less about the person he ends up with. Where I do have concerns is where my children come into contact with her.

See, I'm not a great snooper, but I did kind of get online and snoop around some photos on Facebook until I managed to find what I'm pretty sure is her profile. I know. I know I'm terrible. And she seems like a pretty normal, non-mean, nice person, and knowing that makes me feel justified in my little spy mission.

It's a big step, introducing a significant other to your kids. I know some people don't think twice about it and proceed as usual, letting their kids meet dates willy nilly, but our kids are young and they get attached to people. Both Steve and I wanted to be sure anyone we introduced them to would be around for awhile.

But it's getting harder and harder. Because introducing them to the person I'm seeing would make it much easier to see him. And I guess this is my way of formally announcing that I'm seeing someone. His name is Jason, and I like him a lot. I'm trying not to be too impulsive, but I like him a lot. He's been incredibly sweet, thoughtful, and helpful. We just need to hang on to the next step... and we're not quite there yet. It's hard to keep a poker face when all you want to do is grin and shout from the rooftops.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Runaway Train

So, last week Nick tried to run away.

We were on line at the grocery store, and Nick said he was excited about screen time, and I mentioned the fact that he had used up his screen time that morning, and also that he'd lost screen time for Sunday afternoon because the week before he threw a fit when I said it was time to turn everything off.

He didn't like that. And after the usual begging and pleading and protesting and expression of discontent, he said he was running away.

A lot of kids say they're running away. I ran away myself once, with my sister. She was angry and said she was leaving. She grabbed a sweatshirt and headed for the door, and I ran out the door with her.

That's me. I'm a rebel of the following sort.

We ran around the cul-de-sac and then went right back to the house, giggling about how everyone would be surprised when we got back. When we burst into the kitchen, the babysitter informed us that our rooms had been rented out.

I figured Nick's announcement was pretty much the same amount of bluster. So I played along.

I told him it would be pretty cold, and he should wear a coat and bring a blanket. I told him we'd miss him.

Then he came into the room and he looked like this:

This is when I started to really worry. Bursts of panic were seeping through the spaces in between my giggles. I needed advice, and I needed it fast. Not knowing what else to do, I posted a statement on facebook. It said Here's a question: one of my kids is running away from home. He has packed a suitcase, has a blanket, his DS, and his Doctor Who stress toy. And he's moments away from walking out the door. How long do I play along with this, and just how do I call his bluff?

I took the above photo and posted that on facebook. I told Nick I needed a picture of him to show the police, in case they came by, so we'd remember what he was wearing...

Then Nick headed out the door.

Nate was freaking out. Nate wanted to go with him, but it was 20 degrees. I said no.

I still figured Nick would make it up the driveway then turn around.

But he got there and kept going down the street.

This is when I really started to panic. Part of me wanted to let him go and get it out of his system, but we live on a busy street, and it was cold. I could follow him to make sure he was safe, but Nate and Andy couldn't be left alone. I could call for backup, but my cell phone was dead dead dead, and by the time I called anyone and explained Nick could be anywhere.

So I turned to Nate and told him to watch Andy while I headed after Nick.

I talked him back to the house, and he took a bath while I congratulated myself on my parenting skills.

Then he got out of the bath and what followed was four hours of yelling, screaming, threatening, tantruming, and tears on all sides.

We lived. We went to the therapist. We got a new plan. But I'm tired and worn out and scared because this is my kid's life and there are no do-over's.

I know this isn't an uncommon feeling. I read this blog entry from one of my favorites - worth a few visits.

How can something like this be so funny and so heart-wrenchingly scary at the same time?

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Busy Busy Lazy Busy

There's so much I want to write about.

Most of the time I sit down in front of my computer and my mind goes blank. I can't remember anything I wanted to say.

Lately I've had lots of topics on my mind.

I just don't have time to sit down and write.

But oh, so many things have been buzzing and going on around here...

Like this: I've learned how to take Selfies! Usually when I'm in bed and too lazy to get up.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015