Wine and Snickers

I actually have a list of things I mean to write about and then post on this blog. I'm not telling you what they are. There are no spoilers here. You'd only become disillusioned and stop checking in.

Anyway, this post is not one on that list. This post is about why I haven't written any of those other posts yet.

See, I just don't make the time anymore.

It's funny. I don't have a job. You think I'd have oodles of time, that I'd be wading around it in, up to my knees, my waist, waving my hands through it and letting it drip off my fingers. "Time! LOOK at all my TIME!" cackles maniacally. 

You'd be wrong.

I don't know where it goes, it just does. And I don't get anything done.

Today is one of those days where I wish I kept a supply of snickers bars and red wine. I don't keep any of these things in the house. For a very good reason - I'd consume them. But then, on days like this, when I NEED them, I don't have them. I had to write it down on my grocery list. Tomorrow night I do not have the children. On my dinner plan I wrote Wine, Snickers.

Today I made 3 different lunches for 3 boys.
I spent the morning paying my bills - and I don't talk about this too often here, but I am getting a divorce. When you are unemployed and getting a divorce but still have a joint checking account, it's a little bit like playing a giant game of chess.
Speaking of chess, I went over my calendar to make sure we'd RSVPed to all the birthdays, and that Steve was aware of all the parent teacher conferences, most of which I managed to schedule at the same time as dentist appointments.
I received 3 calls from the school, one which I brushed off, one to tell me a child of mine threw up in his classroom, and one requesting that I come to the school to meet with the teacher that afternoon.
I killed 8 wasps that somehow got trapped in my bathroom window, and admitted that I have a problem. With wasps.
I spent the afternoon mediating arguments and picking up odd items, tracking down the missing library book one boy picked for his book report but lost before he'd finished reading. I rolled up the unrolled 30 foot scroll of paper Andy has been drawing on for five days and JUST TODAY decided it would be a good idea to unroll it outside, in the driveway, where Nate could plainly see it.
I yelled 23 times for the boys to get away from the end of the driveway, even though there was a very interesting dead opossum on the other side of the street they wanted to look at. I managed not to curse at our mail carrier, who, while my boys were watching, thoughtfully drove over it once more, even though he was only going 5 miles an hour.
I locked myself in the bathroom to get 5 minutes of peace because, even though I needed to be alone, one child obviously did not share this sentiment, and I couldn't gather the courage to tell him I didn't want him around just then.
And now I'm tired, and I just want to read and eat process caramel and chocolate and drink wine. We don't have those things, so I had a bowl of oatmeal instead. NOT the same.