And Now, Week 2!

I survived the first week.

It was horrible. I mean, really just stressful and horrible and nervous and tense. I freaked out and felt pressured and didn't think I'd ever be able to pull it off. I was sure my kids felt abandoned, that they'd never forgive me, that my house would never be clean again.

And then came Friday.

Friday we had Unexpected Snow in the morning.
It was also Violin Day, so I had to drive the boys to the school so that Nick could make his 7:30 am violin class.

I used to stay with Nate and Andy until 8:20, when I am formally allowed to drop them off. But because I need to be at work at 8:30, I now have to turn the car around and drive back home so that Nate and Andy can get the bus at 8am, which will immediately take them back to the place they have just left.

It's so stupid. I feel bad for the boys. But that's how it has to be.

Except not this past friday.

Because of the Unexpected Snow.

See, Unexpected Snow causes traffic on the highway. It gets slippery. And suddenly a 10 minutes drive takes twenty.

I dropped Nick off and fled back to the car, determined to meet the bus so I could be at work on time. Ten minutes later I was a mile down the road. No one was moving.

And that's when I did it. You know what you do when you're so caught up in something, and you're so stressed out you can hardly stand it, but you have absolutely no control over the situation?

Um... I don't know the word for this. I want to say "make peace with it," because that's kind of what it is, but that sounds so hippy dippy and not at all like what you do. It's more like flipping a switch. It's more like me ranting and raving and flailing my arms around like a muppet and suddenly making a choice to just be late.

"You know what?" I said to my two quiet younger boys in the backseat. "This is the way it is. There's traffic. There's nothing I can do about it. And you guys need to get to school. There's nothing I can do about that. So I'll be late. Big deal. If that doesn't work for them, then there's nothing I can do about that, either."

I was there before my boss, who showed up all frazzled and frustrated. I was there before my co-worker (but that's not fair. She's 90 minutes away on a good day.)

And suddenly I feel a lot better about the whole thing. I will be as prepared as possible. I"ll do everything I can to make things run smoothly. But stressing out only stresses the boys out. We're all tired. We don't have enough time together. I want to make the time we DO have together be as unstressful as possible.

So... I've been calm today. I feel good tonight. I feel good about the week. I'm sure it will go more smoothly than last week.

Optimism.