I'm busy trying to sop up the goo leaking from my arm. I have tried all manner of remedies, from allergy pills to lotions to powders to baths. Nothing has worked for more than a few seconds. I am on the way to becoming.... dun Dun DUNNNN.... THE OOZE MONSTER!
It all began when I innocently tried removing the horrid THORNY BRUSH that was taking over my yard. Little did I know it was actually trying to take over THE WORLD! Bwahaha! In an effort to reach its goal, it joined forced with POISON IVY (or could it be Poison Sumac? I still haven't located the plant - I'm afraid to go back out there.) Together, the plants launched a full scale attack on MY SKIN! (Can you see it? It's kind of a mix between "Little Shop Of Horrors" and "The Happening" where plants suddenly let out signals that caused humans to kill themselves in more and more horrific ways unless they could outrun the wind...)
OK, I'm going to bed now.
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