Calling Dr. Jones

Today we took Nate to Burger King... not because we always do, but because my lust for fast food fats and fries hadn't been entirely satiated four or five times during our travels. (that's sarcasm, folks.)

We ordered Nate a kid's meal, because he's a kid. And each kid's meal comes with a toy. Usually the toy is a crummy plastic thing that either looks like it's supposed to do something, but does nothing, or says it does something, then brakes. And usually the toy has some connection to some sort of movie, because THAT is MARKETING, Ladies and Gentlemen! It's how the MONEY is MADE. By BRAINWASHING YOUR CHILDREN!

Anyhow, the toys that come in these things are usually for ages three and up, but if you don't specify, they just throw whatever in there. And that's what they did in this case.

These days, the movie Burger King is pushing is the Indiana Jones movie, which I am excited about despite the fact that THAT BOY is in it. The one from Transformers and Disturbia, and if you don't know why that worries me you probably haven't seen either of those movies.

The toys in the kids meals were based on that new movie. And that irritates me because Indiana Jones is not, strictly speaking, for kids. I mean, I've seen the other movies. There were EYEBALLS in SOUP! And ROTTING CORPSES! And FACES MELTED RIGHT OFF PEOPLE just because they didn't know they were supposed to CLOSE THEIR EYES! I mean... they were kind of scary. Unless this movie is vastly different, I'm assuming that I wouldn't want my kids to see it unless they were, oh, thirty. So the fact that my two year old was suddenly aware of the movie and pointing to Indie's hat and the rolling boulder... well... I wasn't happy.

But then I saw the toy. Know what it was? A WHIP! IT WAS A WHIP! OK, so it wasn't a real one, it was a fake one with paper, and I couldn't even work it, and Nate promptly unrolled the paper and went around pretending it was a pressure washer (except he called it his 'special washer') But the point is... THE WHIP? Why not just put a rock in there and tell the kids it's the boulder? Or a stick? As long as we're giving them things to hit things with!

I just don't get it.