WANT AD

Job Opportunity

Wanted: someone to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No vacations, no salary. Patience a must. Intense interview period of 40 weeks. Blood tests will be taken and body type changed indefinitely. Job begins with intense physical pain and discomfort. Applicants must then be willing to forgo a good night's sleep for days at a time and to give up all privacy. Job requirements include dressing, feeding, educating, and caring for another human being. Employees will be exposed to bodily fluids and wastes of all kinds. Job requirements may also include heavy housework, cooking, and laundry. Employees subject to intense and possibly fierce feelings of love and protectiveness indefinitely. No Experience Necessary.