Thursday, August 05, 2010

From The Heart

After much thought and careful consideration on behalf of Steve, myself, and Nick's Kindergarten teacher, we have decided that Nicholas will not go to first grade next year. Instead, he is going to take an in-between year in in a classroom set up for children who are old enough, but not ready for, the first grade.

I have to be very careful what I say here, because the words are forever. I want to make it clear that I love my son, and I think he is a wonderful, bright, and intelligent child. He is extremely articulate, and observant in ways many other people are not.

I was not surprised when Nick's kindergarten teacher brought this up. I know my son, I see what he does, and I had a feeling. Nevertheless, this was a very difficult decision to make. Every parent likes to think they would make the right informed decision, but when faced with the reality it becomes more complicated. We all want what is best for our children. The question is, what exactly IS the right decision. Should I fight for my child and insist that he go into first grade, even though it might be harder for him? Should I keep him back a year? What if he still doesn't get better and he ends up being older than everyone and still has trouble? What if I push him forward and he starts thinking he's dumb? Will he feel humiliated when he's older than everyone? Will he feel humiliated when he's in third grade and struggling academically?

Any decision made is one that I will go back to when he gets to be a teenager and things get harder, as they inevitably will. Whatever I choose, I will insist that our problems would have been averted if only I had chosen the other road.

Steve asked me not to talk about this on the blog. I think this was his way of protecting his son, so that what should be a private issue remains a private one, and not get blown out of proportion, making it more stressful for the little guy. I commend him for that. While the decision was being made, I did not post about it. I waited until now, when it's time to start thinking about school clothes and school supplies. After all, school is starting soon, and I wanted to talk about it, just a little bit, so that there would be no confusion. Really, if it isn't a big deal, then why shouldn't I be able to mention it, just to inform family and friends? And it isn't a big deal. It's an extra year. It's a year for him to get older and used to learning, an extra year before prom and having him leave for college.

We are excited to start school. OK, maybe not the kids, but I can tell you that I am very excited for the kids to be starting school. I can't wait. And I think this is going to be a great year for every single one of my kids! And for me. And for Nick.

5 comments:

Lindax0x0x0x0x said...

Nick is smart & sweet & very creative. I think you & Steve made the exact right decision.

Anonymous said...

I am very proud of Nick and I am overjoyed that you and Steve made this decision. I think some day when Nick is able to assess the situation he will realize what a great thing you did for him, giving him a whole extra year of preparation.

Debs said...

It sounds to me like you've considered all the options and have made the best choice for Nick that you can.

I did the re-take a year thing a lot later in life - I retook my lower sixth year (age 17)as I'd been ill a lot the first time around and my grades had really suffered. It was a hard decision, but it made a real difference, meaning I could get better grades and do the university course I wanted to.
Anyway, i think what i'm trying to say is I'm sure in the future Nick will be able to look back and see how this year has benefited him

Unknown said...

I'm so excited for Nick. I am impressed at the careful consideration you and Steve have given this. You don't need me to tell you that I think you are fantastic parents, but I think you are. In the end you know your child and what he will benefit from right now.

Love to you all!

Susan's Losin' said...

Alee did an extra year of preschool at the teacher's recommendation. Consider it this way - you are giving him an extra year of childhood. So many kids repeat a year that it will be no big deal as he gets older. Being a former teacher, all I can say is you've made the right decision!