ugh

I usually look forward to Steve's going away on business trips with mixed feelings. Part is being alone and missing him, and the other part is the guilty pleasure I get from knowing that I will have the bed ALL TO MYSELF!

Last night, at 2am, when Nate woke up for the 3rd time, I decided to take advantage of Steve's absence and bring the baby into the bed with me. He used to sleep so well with me.

But instead he became VERY EXCITED. He immediately rolled over and tried to crawl off the bed on Steve's side. I kept trying to stick a bottle in his mouth, and after five minutes of struggling, crying, and milk getting on my sheets, I realized this was a BAD IDEA.

After I put him back in his crib, he cried for 30 minutes before going back to sleep.

And waking up at 5am. Both boys woke up at 5am.

I fed Nick waffles because he was good and stopped whining for me. But the second he finished his waffles he started crying... and crying. And screaming. The kind of crying he has when he has nightmares. Hyper, shrill, panic type of screams... Nothing could make him stop. Not even TV.

Which bring us to the moment when I was on the phone calling the pediatrician. Nick was in front of "Dora the Explorer," crying. Nathan was in his crib for his morning nap, crying and still refusing to sleep. And I was on hold, sitting in my car in the garage, crying.

I have stopped crying and made coffee. Nathan has fallen asleep. And Nick is still in front of the TV. He is quieter, letting out only occasional sobs and cries. We are due at the doctor's in 83 minutes.