Thursday, October 05, 2006

FREE or Best Offer

Item 1: Red Ford Pickup Truck. It's sucking out my life's energy. Seriously, this truck does nothing but sit in our driveway all summer because it needs to be fixed. This costs thousands of dollars. Once we get it fixed, we can put the plow on it, and Steve plows our driveway when it snows. But because it has the plow on it, he only drives it when it snows, and so it starts falling apart, and then by srping it needs to be fixed again. Plus we pay registration and insurance. I hate the truck. I might pay you to take it away.

Item 2: 28 month old boy names Nick. Obviously he is defective. He is sick again. He has a cold. He will only drink juice and will only eat between thr hours of 2pm and 4 pm, and only if you are feeding him Golden Grahams and grapes. He refuses to eat dinner because he is too tired, so he falls asleep at 6pm and then wakes up every couple of hours crying for no obvious reason until 6am, at which point he gets up for good.

Item 3: 9 month old infant, male, named Damien. I mean Nathan. Sorry. This child refuses to sleep at apppointed times, including the hours of 11pm to 3am, and also 4:30am to 5:30am. He insists, instead, on singing loudly in his crib, waking up anyone who might be in a three mile radius, including the cats and the dog. He also has the ability to appear in dangerous situation in the blink of an eye. One second you place him in the middle of the room, and the next he's stickign one finger in an electrical outlet while sitting in the dog's water dish. He likes to put small, hard objects in his mouth, like rocks, dog food, and batteries. We haven't yet figured out where he is GETTING these objects, however.

I'm hoping to get some sleep tonight. But since ER is on, I'm sure to be dissapointed one way or another.

I tried to find a picture of the truck, but here is a picture of shoes instead.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I live in NYC so I can't use the truck, but I will take a boy. Since my apt is very small, I think I want the little one. (I also want to get my hands on his head to see what the lumps can tell me!) If you maybe want to make me a special offer for both boys, I might consider taking both of them off your hands, but I reserve the right to sell one back to you if one of them starts eating things off my floor!