This is the third Holiday Season that I've been blogging. That being the case, I know I've posted many thoughts on HOLIDAY MUSIC. How could I not. I'm being bombarded by it on all sides already! Last year I did it song by song, but this year I plan to take a more intellectual approach. After all, I DID spend a great deal of time in college writing about music, even if I did not, by professors' standards, do a spectacular job of it.
Holiday Music can be divided into four categories. These categories are mostly separated by style, and not individual songs which can change depending on the performance. Taste is sometimes also involved. Also, please remember that categorizing music is a practice I have always deplored. (What IS alternative? Rock? Where is the line between Jazz and Soul? Folk and rock? I don't get it.)
The first category is the "Concert" category. This includes choir or orchestral arrangements of just about anything. For example, anything the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings, or anything by the Boston Pops, will most likely fit into this category. I love this music - it makes great background music, will not embarrass or offend, and still offers the chance to sing along or dance.
The second category is the "Standard" category. Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, and anything that sounds like that fits into this category. If the song is by Irving Berlin, it is probably in this category. These are the fun Holiday songs that we can recognize and sing along to. Aunt Maude doesn't mind them, and the kids still get a kick out of singing along.
The Third category is what I call the "Pop" category. Most of the songs played on th radio fall into this category, even if they were written by Irving Berlin. It may be Jingle Bells, but if it is sung by Bruce Springsteen then it belongs here. If it is a new song about red shoes designed only to make you cry, it belongs here. If it uses an electric guitar, it belongs here. If it has a guitar or drum solo, or if the singer is wearing less than I do at the beach, it belongs here.
The fourth and final category I call the "Annoying" category. This is where all the really annoying songs go. Dogs barking? Here. Anything with a small child whistling through gaps in his teeth? Here. You want a Hippopotamus for Christmas? Are Chipmunks singing? Gramma got run over by a - here Here HERE! This is also where taste comes into play. In my opinion, this is where any and all versions of "Winter Wonderland" belong. I know Linda would stick "Little Drummer Boy" here as well (rum pa pum PUM!). And this is where my theory breaks down and becomes subjective. The version of Little Drummer Boy with Bing Crosby (putting it in the Standards) and David Bowe (putting it in the Pop) makes this a confusing theory indeed. Which is precisely why I hate categorizing music to begin with.
4 comments:
add rudolf the red nosed reindeer to the annoying songs. it's been dead to me since that year we had to sing it 20 times.
What a great classification system. I totally agree with your theories. There is, however, one version of Winterwonderland that I love - the Harry Connick Jr. piano instrumental version. I have to admit I do like that one. But the rest of the songs in your Annoying category - spot on!
What does it say about me that I love all the annoying songs?
O, come on. You know exactly why I hate that little drummer boy. Imagine you are Mary. You have travelled many miles in inclement weather on the back of an ass on not one paved road & you have given birth in a filthy stable without medical assistance or an epidural. You are exhausted. Your husband has been no help & you have FINALLY gotten the kid to fall asleep. Now here comes some street urchin banging on something as hard as he can. O, yeah, that's a sonata you want to hear! You would be throwing rocks or dung at that kid not to mention dragging him down the street by his sear to present him to his own mother who would bitchslap him into tomorrow. Then you drag yourself back to your straw pallet & collapse while rocking your own newborn back to sleep.
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