Nicholas - 7 Years Old

Once, in a college directing class, I did a scene where I played a mother. Not being a mother myself, I didn't quite grasp what this woman was going on and on about. "I remember you when you wore tutus and danced around the yard," and "I remember when you were a cheerleader and wore the same uniform for a year straight and refused to say more than two words to me" and so on. The idea was that this parent was unable to look at her daughter and see just her daughter. She saw all of her, her whole life, from the time she was small to the present moment.


It's kind of like that scene from "Father Of The Bride" (remake) when Steve Martin sits down to dinner and this little girl in pigtails says "Daddy! I met a man in Rome and we're going to get married!"

When I think of Nicholas, I still think of this little round baby. A toddler, really. And even though I know in my mind that he is much older than that, it's sometimes hard for me to get into that gear. Its not denial, it's just time getting away from me. Like being surprised at the Holiday decorations in the store, or writing 1997 on a check for no good reason.

Every year this weekend comes around and I think to myself that Nick hasn't changed that much. He couldn't possibly have grown that much, or learned that much. He couldn't be as old as he is. Because I have definite memories of when I was that old, and I didn't feel like a baby, I felt like a person.

This is when I'm forced to realize that he actually HAS grown in so many ways. He is changing constantly, as we all are. There is absolutely nothing I can do to stop this. Once it is begun, all you can do is encourage and point out the direction, and hope it's the right way. Like it or not, he is well on his way to growing up.

When I see Nicholas, I see how far he has come. I am proud that he is the boy that he is. I love every single thing about him, from his fear of bees to his obsession with his stupid video games. He is a caring, funny, and opinionated individual that I am grateful for every day.


Happy 7th Birthday, Nicholas.