Worst Run Ever

Earlier this week I thought it might be a good idea to take the kids biking along a trail in our town.

I'd done this before, with Andy on trike, and it was miserable because the boys were wobbling all over the place, and Andy's trike was broken and not very fast. But this time they were all on bikes. Andy just got a new bike with training wheels and was very excited to try it out. Also, I needed to go for a run, so I thought they could ride, I could run, and we would all get a work out, some fresh air, and be happy.

Not so much.

First of all, Andy was not very interested in... speed. Nick and Nate took off down the trail, until they were little blips, and then waited responsibly. Andy, on the other had, reminded me more of the Muppets on Bikes, going so slowly one is amazed they have the necessary balance to stay upright. I was hoping to run, but I wasn't running. Even walking, I had to keep stopping to let Andy catch up. Finally I started jogging and then turning back, running circles around him as he slowly inched forward.

By the end of the run, Andy had gotten the hang of it. He was going fast enough that I didn't have to double back, and all was well.

But my stupid GPS tracker thing didn't get my doubling back. It just recorded that I ran very, very slowly. I burned 200 calories in 40 minutes, and apparently at some point ran through the middle of the pond.

All told, and GPS malfunctions aside, I think it was a good run, and I'd be willing to do it again, now that Andy has gotten the hang of it.

Working It Out

Since I've stopped running I have been battling myself internally.

I found a different workout schedule, mainly P90X. This is a 90 day program with  number of workouts. I started off slowly, but wasn't satisfied, so when I reached Phase 2 (4 weeks into the program) I decided to add an afternoon cardio workout a few days a week, if I could.

The problem with P90X is that most workouts are almost an hour long. Except the yoga, which is over 90 minutes. And the abs workout, which is a 16 minute add on you're supposed to do after other workouts. Quite frankly, I don't feel like I have that much time in my day.

Oh, I made the time. I put working out ahead of everything else. I made my kids wait for breakfast (until after 7am! The horror!) and I sometimes shifted things around in the afternoon if I thought I could get a cardio in. It was A Priority.

And I was careful about my ankle. And I knew my body was changing - I feel stronger. I find certain things easier than before. I FEEL absolutely amazing...

But I didn't lose weight. I gained it. You can chalk thins up to me not doing the nutrition part of the P90x program, or to me eating more pie than usual, but I don't think I've been acting that poorly. In fact, I'm drinking far less than I have been, and not eating more junk than I usually eat. I'm just 10 pounds heavier than I was six months ago. Muscle mass, perhaps? P90x does have me lifting more weights, but I don't go higher than 9 pounds, even when they are lifting 35, for the simple fact that my heaviest set of dumbells is 9 pounds, and I don't really want Tony Horton's biceps. Because I'm a girl. Woman. Sorry.

Ahem.

Also, I mentioned this in yesterday's post, but P90x has a person work out 7 days a week. 2 more days a week than I'm used to. And yes, one of these is the "Stretch" routine, which can also be a "rest" day, but I feel like I'm cheating when I rest.

The other thing is, I've been sick. I got this cold that really knocked me out. I thought my face was going to fall off, and I could hardly even keep an eye on my kids. So workout out was... out. Then there was the 4th of July week, where I skipped two days for the holiday (no P90X on the boat) and a third for having a massive headache. I've been in Phase 2 for something like 7 weeks at this point.

Recently however, I had a doctor's appointment. The ankle doctor. He told me I was all set, and could do what I wanted in terms of working out, as long as I kept doing certain exercises for my calf.

So this morning I took my first run in over 3 months. I ran 5K. It was lovely.

I plan on keeping up with the P90X, with some of the TRX thrown in, but I see no reason to not run a few times every week. I love running. I love it so much I'm getting new sneakers!

Working It Out

I've started working out again.

I took a long time off. I wanted to make very very sure my ankle healed properly, because I'm tired of having to worry about it. But at my last doctor's visit I found out the lump was never actually going to leave the back of my heel. And then I stepped on the scale and found out I was a full ten pounds heavier than I was a month ago. I kind of knew it was coming, because the jeans that used to fit but then started falling down were actually fitting again.

So.

Yes.

I have a couple of plans in motion. I'm doing a couple of different things. I plan to add shorter runs in as soon as things pick up a bit, and possibly when the days get warmer.

So far, I'm four days back into it, and I feel like... well... I have never felt more like a lump of heavy clay. For some reason the people on the video spring up and down like it's nothing, and I can't manage to move at all. Also, when I jump, I hit the ceiling fan. I sometimes feel like I'm working out in a closet. It's odd.

But I'm hopeful. Even if I don't lose the weight, maybe I can at least get back into the skinny jeans. Not actually skinny jeans, but the jeans I used to wear when... never mind.

Ankle

Quick update on my stupid ankle tendons.

I went and got fitted for orthopedic inserts. These are basically really expensive shoe inserts, like Dr. Scholl's, only they cost $60, and the nice lady who watched we walk around first fitted them to my foot using a really strong heat gun (like a hair dryer but stronger.)

I learned a few things. For one thing, she can feel the difference in my good and bad tendons without even reaching my famous lump. My left tendon is "ropey." Also, I have to start stretching now, even if the swelling hasn't gone down, or my tendon will bind to my bone and I'll hurt myself again as soon as I start running again.

Also, I learned that flip flops and sandals have no support (she sees an increase of people coming in with injuries in the summer) so stay away from the Old Navy $2 flips.

Finally, the biggest shocker for me... avoid going barefoot! Here I was thinking that I was fine as long as I kicked off the 1.5" heels as soon as I got home, but it turns out being barefoot, or wearing slippers, is just as bad. Sneakers with support are best, and mules are no good because they have no support in the back of the ankle.

Seriously? It's finally warming up and I'm going to have to wear sneakers all summer? I don't think so. No way. This thing better fix itself fast, because one of the many plus sides of summer is hardly wearing shoes. I'm not pulling on smelly sneakers every day! Not a chance!

Pooh on this stupid ankle injury. It's really become a pain in the you know.

Doctor Doctor

It's the time of year for Doctor's Appointments!


Well, for Nate and Andy, anyway. They both went in for yearly check-ups. They are both healthy. Nathan was in the 90% for weight, which was a little disconcerting. But he's been playing outside for hours at a time, and I like to think we offer him good choices when it comes to food and snacks. It's just that, he keeps eating until you tell him to stop. He'll eat the stuff his brothers leave behind. What can we do?


I also have a doctor's appointment coming up. I'm glad, because with the running I've been doing since I came back from vacation, my ankle is flaring up again. It's downright irritating.

Running Again

I am running again.

I feel great.

I'm not talking about my ankle, which feels fine. Sometimes I think it might be hurting me, but I have determined I'm ghosting it. I'm thinking about it and making it up. Because during the day it doesn't hurt, and there has been no swelling at all.

I'm taking it easy. Very easy, when I think about what I used to do. Just 20 minutes, hardly any incline, and not too fast. I plan on increasing it very, very slowly. I plan on not wearing shoes at all in my own house, and being very careful about when I choose to wear anything with heels at all.  I make it a  point to stretch before I run. I promise to try and do yoga at least once a week, so I havent given it up completely!

What feels great is me. I am happier and more energetic when I run. I am more confident. I sleep better.

Not Running

I haven't been running for over a month.

I haven't been running for over a month and it's making me miserable.

Let's forget, for just a moment, that the scale is creeping upward and my pants are getting a little tight. I certainly haven't become obese overnight.

But I feel so.... not good.

I still wake up early in the morning. Instead of running I have been doing yoga. Yoga is good for you, no matter what the crazy New York Times readers think. Yes, you can hurt yourself. You can also hurt yourself walking or running or chewing your food if you get too enthusiastic and stop paying attention. Yoga is supposed to center you and clam you and be good for your body.

But it doesn't make me sweat. Not usually, anyway. I'm not saying it's not good. It's easier than when I started, certainly, but it's not the same.

And I feel it.

I'm grumpier. I feel more... portly. I eat more junk food, even though I promise myself I won't. Or maybe it's just that we have more chocolate sitting around these days?

At any rate, I feel unwell. I've had to ask myself what I would do if this became a permanent situation instead of the temporary one I've been assuming it to be. The truth is, I really don't know, but I suppose I should figure that out and then try to integrate an alternative into my routine. An alternative that isn't yoga but something that really makes me sweat and give me a good workout but leaves my ankle alone.

Ankle

My ankle doesn't hurt anymore.

I've been waking up early and doing yoga - a gentle stretching workout that I don't really consider working out because I don't sweat. My heart rate increases only ever so slightly. I can re-wear my workout clothes.

I really really want to start running again. I've been moody and sluggish and off balance. I think it's because I stopped running. I haven't been able to find that same release in yoga, and I don't have very many other choices for working out.

I've told myself that I might not have to wait until the end of January after all. The pain has gone away, and the little lump has all but disappeared. If I don't experience any pain, I can run as soon as I get the treadmill serviced (I think that might be part of the problem.)

I just really want to get back to it, and to keep myself from adding extra pounds or getting too soft before I need to wear a bathing suit in February.

The thing is, if I'm wrong, I could be setting myself up for an even longer recovery period, and an even more serious injury.

Achilles Heel

I love running.

OK, I'm not actually a big fan of running while I'm running, but when I stop, I love that I do it. I love that I CAN do it. I love how I feel, I love the strength it gives me.

Lately, I've been experiencing some pain in my calf. Not a severe pain, but in the morning it's tough to walk at first. It's stiffness, really. I have been blaming new shoes, ones with more of a heel than I usually have.

The other night I was rubbing my foot when I found a lump. It was right there on the back of my leg, the lower part of my calf. And even though it was small, it was a definite lump. I even checked my other leg to see if maybe this wasn't the way my leg was actually shaped and I'd just never noticed before. But not, it was only on this one leg. It didn't hurt when I rubbed it. Well, it hurt when I rubbed it too hard.

I showed Steve, who said "Yeah, it's a lump on your tendon."

THAT was the word I'd been looking for. Tendon. I had forgotten about tendons.

And the next morning I woke and ran, and the leg hurt just a little, but then it felt better so I kept going. But the lump was still there, so I looked it up on the internet.

I think I have Achilles Heel. Only they now call it "Achilles tendonitis." Usually there is no specific moment when people get this.It can be caused by an increase in miles or incline or by not stretching. There can be a lump on the tendon. I figured I don't have the chronic version, only the less severe kind. But if I don't try and fix it, it'll become chronic. Which is more serious and hurts all the time. I don't want that. Especially since the article I was readin talked a lot about the surgery one could get to fix the chronic tendonitis. It even had pictures.

At least I have an excuse for not running for awhile.

I just need to find an alternative. I've decided to try and do a little yoga - I used to do it, but stopped because of time. Maybe after while I can start something else? I'll get a bike in the spring, but.... I need something NOW!

Back on the wagon

Last week I didn't run. I took the week off because I had such a bad cold I lost my voice.

I'm still not at 100%, but I am feeling much better.

So this week, I started running again. I'm no longer sleeping in. I'm sneaking down to the treadmill when it's still dark, and when I sneak back up the stairs... it's still dark.

I'm also not eating donuts and cookies and whole entire pies. Instead, I'm trying to find excuses to give people pies. I really want to see that pie shop do well!

There's a certain satisfaction I get from running and not gorging myself on baked goods. It's almost the same feeling I get when I change the sheets on my bed or organize my closet. Everything seems cleaner and neater. I can breathe better. I am pleased with myself.

Slow Recovery

Because I got sick in New York, I did not run, even though the weather was perfect and I had kind of been looking forward to a long run in Central Park.

Now that I am home, I am still not running. I am sleeping in until past 6am.

I also have stopped paying attention to what I am eating because I am too tired to remember how to use my self control, and I have also reasoned that I need my strength.

Instead, I feel kind of puffy and bloated. I should not have eaten that whole pie.

I hope I get better soon. I may just write this week off and start again on Monday of next week.

Daily Donut

I have been tracking my running for over a year now. When I write everything down I feel more accountable, and I'm less likely to sleep in.

Recently, I was invited to participate in a running challenge using a different online community. It's called dailymile, and what's good about it is that you can not only track your running, but your walking, your swimming, your biking, etc. If you walk to work, you can put that down.

It also emphasizes interaction between members. You can invite a group of people to run races, to complete a certain number of miles in the least time, or to just run a certain number of miles. I was invited to run 250 miles by 2012. (That was September 1st, and I'm already over 100 miles, so I think I'll be fine.)

But it also has a page where you can see how your run translates into other things. Since I've started using this page, I have run 134.38 miles. That's kind of cool! I have spent 76.05 hours running. That's kind of depressing. I have had 24 total workouts. That's confusing - how can I have had more hours that workouts. Were some runs not counted as complete? I have run around the world .01 times. It's a big planet. I have powered 925.5 TV's, and saved 7.07 gallons of gas. This would mean more if I were running TO something and not just using the treadmill.

The last two stats are the most confusing.

According to whatever program they use, I have burned 68.49 donuts. That's a lot of donuts. In fact, reading that makes me want to go out and eat a dozen powdered donuts all at once. But wait! What's this last statistic? It says, quite clearly "Lbs. burned." And above it? A lonely "3."

Three pounds. I have run over seventy hours and over a hundred miles, and I have burned three pounds. Is this even possible? HOW DOES THIS WORK? I'm guessing that you have to run a certain length of time for the pound to count, or it erases itself, or cancels itself out? I'm not sure if this is how it works in real life, or if it just works out that way in crazy computer math. But, seriously, 68.49 donuts does not equal 3 pounds. Or maybe it does. Maybe if I ate almost seventy donuts I would only gain three pounds. Perhaps I would only rupture my stomach and go into a coma. I'm not sure how this works.

To be honest with you, I have actually gained weight since I started using this online thing. It has nothing to do with the community. Well, maybe the reminder of how many donuts I've burned... but more likely I just have a weakness for cake and pie. And cookies and homemade bread. I mean, the pounds burned is more than offset by the pounds consumed, in this case. That's not the point. The point is that the math is off. And also that we cannot believe everything our little online folks tell us. We have to use common sense at some point. Right?

Early Morning Run

Last February I made a major change to my schedule. I started waking up at 5:30. In the morning.

Why? I hear you ask. Are you completely crazy?

Well, the original idea was that I would get the running out of the way early, before the boys were awake, and then I would have time to do the other things that are still gradually eating up my life.

I kept the routine up during the summer, more or less, and it's been working great. The only problem is that now it's still very very dark at 5:30. As in not-even-dawn. I am finding it harder and harder to drag myself out of bed and wake up to run.

So I've postponed a couple of runs to later in the day when the boys are all in school. 8:30am.

But because the weather is still warm, and there is no ice or snow, I have been running outside.

I ran a trail the other day for the first time in a year. I was doing great, using an iPhone for my music and to track my runs. I reached the end of the trail, the 3 mile point where I stopped to tie my shoe before turning back. And the phone rang.

It was the school nurse, saying Nick was complaining about his ear.

There I was, covered in sweat, standing in the woods, three miles from my car. Of course this is when my kid would need to get picked up.

Running

The photo has nothing to do with the text in this post. Why? I hear you ask. Why do you do things like that? Well, the answer is, I have some photos that I don't need to post about, and I have a few things I might like to say that I have no photos to go with. Such as this one, about running. I have no photos pf myself running, nor do I ever ever ever need to have such a photo taken.

At home, I run on a treadmill. New Hampshire mornings are cool in the summer, and dark in early fall. The street we live on has no running path or even sidewalk, and cars travel faster than they should along the curvy road. Besides that, I am supposed to be looking after the boys. If Steve is here, that's one thing, but he isn't always, and even if he is, he is technically working... Blah blah blah, I have a ton of reasons.

Anyway, in France, I ran outdoors. I was nervous about this, because when we started visiting the area, no one ran at all. If you went out for a short jog, people would stare at you as if you were fleeing a crime scene. It just wasn't done.

But things change.

There is a bike path along the beach - well, the beach road, which isn't always right next to the beach, but still. And it was almost always busy. People ran, walked, rode bikes, pushed baby strollers, everything. At all times of the day, even at noon, those crazy running-at-noon in the heat folk.

Running outdoors is very, very different from running on a treadmill. Obviously, you say. But what I'm referring to is the social aspect. You pass people and you nod your head at them. You smile at the old man walking his dog, and he smiles at you as you pass him again on the way home. You laugh when the guy running in front of you reaches his target and abruptly turns around for his way back. Once a runner actually tried to High-Five me as we passed each other, but I was tired and taken by surprise, so the effect was more like he reached out and pushed me off balance... I'm not really very graceful...

I loved running outdoors so much, and I miss it. But here it is cold in the mornings, and dark. And soon there will be wet snow on the ground. And so, no outdoors for me. Treadmill. Which is much more boring. No one sees me if I slow down, but there is no fudging my time, either. I'll just have to pretend I'm on the beach when I'm really in the basement.

Run Of The Mill

So, I joined Runkeeper.

It's an online workout community. You log your runs, or your workouts. It's supposed to be a team building thing, I think. You can also purchase an app and then run with your phone, and it will automatically tell you how far you ran and map it out for you an an actual map, and then you can choose to have people see where you ran.

I run on a treadmill, so it's a lot less exciting. But I like seeing what my trends are - for example, I run more on Wednesdays than on any other day of the week. And on the 13th of the month, I run less. How does this work? I don't know.

A coupe of months ago a little window popped up that said I had beat my farthest distance in a month.

I was thrilled. I had run ninety miles in a month! Of course, this just meant I had to do it again the following month, right?

I did. And then I did it again.

In June I ran 102.7 miles.

In the past year I have run 835 miles, and according to the treadmill, burned 88,535 calories.

I'm going to go have a donut now.

Mental Challenge

Every day, at nap time, I settle into bed with Nathan and Andrew and begin by reading them a story of their choice.

I love my children. I have to begin by saying that. And I also honestly believe that reading to one's children is important, not only as a gateway to reading, but as a bonding experience.

But my boys pick the most boring books.

Not only that, but they pick them again and again and again. Even the most charming and entertaining book can induce screams after twenty or twenty five readings.

This afternoon, as I settled to read Tokyo Mater yet again, followed by Iron Man Saves The Day, a familiar feeling settled over me. How can I describe this feeling? It's like I want to scream. It's definitely a feeling of not wanting to do what I want to do. But I know that this thing must be done, that there is no rushing it, but that it will be over when it is over, so I just need to grit my teeth and get through it.

And then I realized when else I got this feeling.

When I get on the treadmill in the morning.

It's not that I'm tired. It's not that I'm exhausted and can't take another step, or even that I;m out of breath. I am Just, That, Bored! I mean, I run for fifty minutes, and after the first fifteen I appreciate some mental stimulation. But there isn't much around on a treadmill at 5:45 am. It's the same four walls. The same workout music. The same everything. And I have more than half and hour to go. I just have to keep going and know that it will be over when it's over, and there's not much I can do to speed it along, other than bend time.

It's a mental thing.

And I use this ability nightly when I read bedtime stories to my kids. "What, Bakugan again? No, of course I don't mind! Whatever gets you reading, Sweetheart!"

Sick Again Again

I am sick again.

I've had a tough couple of months, in that respect. This time, it's my throat. It hurts.

Not terribly. Not all the time. But enough to make me grumpy. Also, my head hurts and I'm tired.

I feel well enough to go about my day. I get up, I take the kids places, all that fun stuff.

But at 5:15, when my alarm goes off, I can't get out of bed to run. I have been hitting snooze and finally turning the alarm off completely. In my half-sleep state, I think this will make me feel better. But as the day goes on and the pain wears off to a dull scratchy ache, and I find myself eating slices of toast to give me something to do, I really start missing my morning activity.

This transformation is the one I never thought could take place. I am itching to exercise. I need to run. I need to work up a sweat, and when I don't I get grumpy and restless. Even having a cold or a... whatever this is doesn't make that need go away completely.

Tomorrow I'll run no matter what! Unless, of course, I get worse...