She's Not There

Everyone knows that pregnant women are a little bit crazy. It's the hormones, right? I mean, there are so many hormones swimming around, each with a different purpose - changing your body, your bones actually changing, your body getting ready for labor, not to mention the fact that you're growing a Human Being inside you... I mean, who wouldn't be a little stressed out.

Fewer people realize that, after the baby is born, there are even MORE hormones swimming around. Why? Because the body, as miraculous as it is, doesn't realize the baby has been born for some time. So it keeps making these hormones. But the hormones HAVE NO PLACE TO GO. So they just swim around and make you do crazy things, like cry during dog food commercials, and try to fit into your six 6 jeans from two years ago.

In many countries, women traditionally have a confinement period after the baby is born. Oh, I know, there's all that talk about women giving birth in the rice fields, strapping the newborn to their backs, and going right back to work. But that's really a lie. Because no one would give a woman who's just had a baby a knife sharp enough to harvest ANYTHING. The truth is, one's body must acclimate to being NOT pregnant. It takes time to get back to normal. Or to something that resembles normal. And I'm not just talking about a good night's sleep. I'm talking about being able to look at any of my kids without milk soaking the front of my shirt, or being able to look at old photographs without sobbing.

I fully support the idea of confinement. Even before, in my previous life, when I was working, I was of the opinion that women should have at least one day a month when they shouldn't have to come to work. Not because of pain or inconvenience, but because I was in such an evil mood that there was no way I could pass as normal, and no one wanted to be around me anyway. Call me sexist. I'm not kidding.

Well, these days I'm like that kind of all the time. I mean, I'm not really in a bad mood all the time - I sound like it here because I'm no longer a morning person, and have you checked the times of my posts? No, it's the normal, everyday things that I can't seem to accomplish for some reason. I spent over 2 hours in the grocery store the other day. I drove past my exit on the highway. To get dinner on the table half an hour later I need to start an hour earlier. I forget about clothes in the washer. I forget where I put the baby. I can't remember if the boys have had snack. I sometimes realize I have the TV, the radio, AND my computer playing a CD all at the same time.

So there you go. I am insane at the moment. And probably will be for a few more weeks.