It's not a physical weariness that I'm experiencing. This is an emotional kind of tired that turns me into a snapping beast, and someone I really hate being.
I'm mentally tired. I'm tired of having someone open the door when I'm in the shower and telling people to take their fingers out of their noses. I'm tired of not being able to choose what I want to do, of having to wedge my hobbies into two-minute time spans. I'm tired of finding my books with the bookmarks removed. I'm tired of the same old dinners, tired of making them, tired of being told they suck, and tired of cleaning up after them.
Every day.
As I write this, it's Labor Day Weekend. I'm not even sure what Labor Day is for. I'm sure it's something. But for me, it's just one extra day on the weekend. And the Weekend, my friends, may be a two-day break for most people, but for me, it's a sham. It's a day I'm supposed to pretend to relax, but in reality I'm not allowed to do anything I want. Instead, the kids run around and make huge messes. Steve sleeps in front of the TV, relaxing from his job.
And instead of joining my kids I complain because they get nosebleeds on my quilting fabric and can't remember where they put their shoes. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy this time I have instead of wanting to crawl back into bed? Fleen, get over it!
2 comments:
You need a day off!! Hang in there, it's almost Monday again :(
Because you're TIRED! The eternal state of all mothers with small children & teens. It should break about the time you get them all off to college. In the meantime, all you can do is follow Jamie's advice...or run away to NYC to visit us! We'll hide you!!
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