When I first started this blog it was meant to be more than just a few sentences about a few semi-humorous things that my children did or said. The writing was supposed to, somehow, go a bit deeper than that. And I don't think I have succeeded very well, in that regard.I write a lot about the funny things my kids do, and about how silly I think the simplest tasks (buying toothpaste, making the bed) have become. But I hardly ever mention how sweet it feels to bury my face in Nathan's neck and kiss him there to make him laugh. I don't think I have ever said one word about how one of his belly laughs can lift my spirit, almost as much as one of Nicholas's fake grown-up laughs can break my heart. I haven't written about Nicholas's hair, and how it has lost that baby smell, and how I can pick up the scent of the paints and the toys he plays with at school, all caught up in his crazy, unruly, never-to-be-tamed curls. When Nathan sings Twinkle Twinkle he reaches his arms up to the sky, twinkling his fingers and looking up, and I don't know who taught him to do that.
Parenthood has broken my heart. As wonderful as it is, it is also bittersweet. These boys who were my babies, who wanted nothing more than to sit in my arms, are growing up to be their own people.
3 comments:
Now you did it -- I'm crying. You really said it so well Kathleen. I only have one child (all grown up now), but there is defnitely joy to be had at almost every age. (The almost for me was 13 and 14)
Nick and Nate are just darling and I'm sure you have a lot to do with that!!!
Have no fear in your heart. You're gonna be wiping their chins for a long time.
O, you're crying about it now...but when they're 20+ & weighing more than 175lbs, you'll be glad they can stand on their own two feet & cry from them sitting on your lap! Jean is right: There is new joy at every stage. You'll find it.
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