Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I am having a problem with my child.

Not my unborn, yet-to-be-named child. My 18-month old, existing child. Nicholas.

Ever since my mother has arrived to help me as I waddle around the house and attempt to take care of him while I do laundry, shopping, and cook meals, Nicholas has become... attached. To me. He was fine at first, running around and being his usual self. But then, one day, I tried to use the bathroom by myself.

There's nothing quite like peeing while your toddler is on the other side of the door, pounding it with his fists, wailing and screaming. These were not "i didn't get my way" tears. These were "My mother has left me alone with these other people and I will never see her again" tears. The screams were sad and loud and I wanted to to whatever I could to stop them and heal the pain and make things better for my baby.

The "other people" in the room, by the way, would be my mother and Steve - yes, his FATHER. But suddenly dad isn't good enough.

And it's not just the bathroom.

Nicholas wants me to carry him up the stairs. He wants to to pick him up and hold him at the grocery store and while I make dinner. He wants ME to put on his socks and his coat. He wants ME to hand him his juice... all while carrying him and playing with him and sitting him on my lap as I pee.

And of course, I can't. I am carrying what is apprently a baby horse in my belly, and I just can't carry Nicholas up the stairs with a basket full of laundry without endangering all of our lives. Not to mention the fact that, any day now, hopefully sooner than later, I will give birth to this small horse in my belly and will need to actually devote some attention to HIM. And Nicholas will have to deal with the fact that I AM NO LONGER HIS.

What scares me is that he's started fighting this concept before horse-baby is even born. I am really really nervous about how this is all going to play out.

And before the baby gets home there is the time I need to spent in the hospital... time Nick will spend here, at home, alone with Grandma's and his father and whoever else happens to drop by... Have I mentioned the fact that I have never left my child alone for the night before?
Yeah.
This will be interesting.

1 comment:

Lou said...

Small horse!! Ha!!